Why no health insurance? Is Bipolar even a "disorder?" How do I know if I'm "disabled? "

WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.240 --> 00:00:08.750 Welcome back to bipolar style, the podcast for bipolar people and those who love 2 00:00:08.910 --> 00:00:16.109 them. Join US online at bipolar stylecom and now here's your host, Johnny 3 00:00:16.230 --> 00:00:24.019 Motions Day. That's right, I'm johnny motions and I have bipolar style and 4 00:00:24.140 --> 00:00:28.179 that's the name of the PODCAST, bipolar style. Why didn't I call the 5 00:00:28.300 --> 00:00:33.780 PODCAST bipolar disorder? Well, because that's a stupid name for a podcast. 6 00:00:34.579 --> 00:00:38.170 So I did think, though, what was a good one? Oh, 7 00:00:38.409 --> 00:00:43.210 like the bipolar show. It used to be called bipolar show. Kind of 8 00:00:43.210 --> 00:00:48.689 generic right, but what I thought was kind of funny was that each podcast 9 00:00:49.450 --> 00:00:54.159 was an episode. Get it, like I had a bipolar episode. So 10 00:00:54.560 --> 00:00:57.479 anyway, bipolar style, yeah, that's what I call it. There's a 11 00:00:57.520 --> 00:01:00.679 lot of talk lately, or ongoing talk, this kind of a perpetual argument, 12 00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:07.829 about how you label somebody with bipolar style. Do you say that they 13 00:01:07.950 --> 00:01:14.670 have bipolar disorder? Do you say they are bipolar? And it really just 14 00:01:14.790 --> 00:01:19.500 gets down to knowing your grammar. Bipolar itself is an adjective, like black 15 00:01:19.579 --> 00:01:25.180 or gay. You would not say I have black or I have gay. 16 00:01:25.579 --> 00:01:29.340 You say I am black or I am gay. Same with bipolar. You 17 00:01:29.459 --> 00:01:34.090 can say I am bipolar bipolar disorder, however, is a noun. When 18 00:01:34.090 --> 00:01:38.090 you put those two words together, it relays to the disorder a noun, 19 00:01:40.010 --> 00:01:42.730 and in that case you would not be the Noun. I'm not going to 20 00:01:42.849 --> 00:01:48.599 say I am disorder. You would say you have a disorder. So anyway, 21 00:01:48.920 --> 00:01:53.079 to avoid all of that, I just have bipolar style. You have 22 00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:57.560 to prove that it's a disorder to me anyways before I start labeling myself with 23 00:01:57.719 --> 00:02:02.069 that kind of stigma. So until you can prove that it's a disorder, 24 00:02:02.349 --> 00:02:07.830 that there is some perfect level of chemical levels that were aiming for, cool, 25 00:02:07.990 --> 00:02:13.469 until you can prove that our chemicals are imbalanced and that it's actually a 26 00:02:13.629 --> 00:02:20.780 disorder, I'm sticking with bipolar style. The last couple of weeks have had 27 00:02:20.939 --> 00:02:29.139 the youtube live stream going while I cord the PODCASTS, and that's getting I 28 00:02:29.219 --> 00:02:32.569 think it's a little too much pressure because I find myself focusing on like how 29 00:02:32.689 --> 00:02:38.930 to how to present to a camera instead of kind of narrating or conveying a 30 00:02:38.370 --> 00:02:44.919 story and the optics of the story audibly. So what I think I'm going 31 00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:46.280 to do? Well, actually, I think we're going to move out of 32 00:02:46.319 --> 00:02:51.479 these psych media offices and get a new place. So let me tell you 33 00:02:51.479 --> 00:02:54.879 about that real quick. I may have the opportunity to set up a student 34 00:02:54.960 --> 00:03:00.349 video in a crazy part of town, in the heart of downtown San Francisco, 35 00:03:00.509 --> 00:03:07.110 and when I think I made do is record the podcasts normally like I 36 00:03:07.189 --> 00:03:09.949 am now, and instead of facing the camera, I think I may have 37 00:03:10.110 --> 00:03:15.539 the camera behind my back. That way people can see what I'm looking at 38 00:03:15.580 --> 00:03:20.780 out on the streets as I'm podcasting, and that way I can also see 39 00:03:21.340 --> 00:03:24.580 my own computer screen and watch people live chat questions and that sort of thing, 40 00:03:24.620 --> 00:03:28.409 so I won't have to worry about seeing my face on camera. You 41 00:03:28.530 --> 00:03:31.729 guys will have something to look at if you're so inclinent, if you want 42 00:03:31.729 --> 00:03:36.610 to look at something. They'll be a facebook live stream from behind me, 43 00:03:36.930 --> 00:03:40.330 facing out, kind of like a first person view of doing a podcasts. 44 00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:45.719 So we'll do that, but let me make sure the new studio is like 45 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:49.360 a viable option and we could set that up in the next few weeks. 46 00:03:49.879 --> 00:03:53.520 Anyway, I'm today. I'm just recording the podcast without video interruption. So 47 00:03:53.719 --> 00:03:58.310 I think it's a little more a little less pressure, a little easier, 48 00:03:58.349 --> 00:04:01.629 a little more easy. So hopefully we'll just get through some stuff, and 49 00:04:01.830 --> 00:04:04.550 when I say get through some stuff, I mean you get to listen, 50 00:04:04.590 --> 00:04:09.469 to be, share and vent about having bipolar disorder throughout the last week or 51 00:04:09.509 --> 00:04:12.740 two, especially the last week or two. It is pretty rough through the 52 00:04:13.699 --> 00:04:17.620 end of the year, holidays, Christmas and New Year's Eve. So that 53 00:04:17.860 --> 00:04:20.339 yeah, anyway, I made it, I'm alive here, I am Todaw. 54 00:04:20.620 --> 00:04:24.970 I'm glad you made it too, and cool. So let's start this 55 00:04:25.050 --> 00:04:28.610 year off right get down to business. I noticed I listen to my last 56 00:04:28.610 --> 00:04:30.449 podcast and boy, I talk a lot about the behind the scenes and how 57 00:04:30.889 --> 00:04:34.610 you make a podcast or a video, and I don't know it's I think 58 00:04:34.730 --> 00:04:40.319 people that are into making podcasts or videos might be interested in some of that, 59 00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:44.480 but I don't know. Little too much housekeeping and a little too light 60 00:04:44.680 --> 00:04:48.720 on the actual topics related to bipolar people. So I will try to focus 61 00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:53.709 on fixing that. I'll say so less. I noticed they did that quite 62 00:04:53.709 --> 00:04:57.069 a bit or did not edit those out as much as I could. Otherwise. 63 00:04:57.110 --> 00:04:59.829 I just want to make a nice, compact little podcast for you and 64 00:05:00.709 --> 00:05:04.430 get things off to the right start. Here's what the topics I was kind 65 00:05:04.430 --> 00:05:09.699 of moulling over in my head and now take the bus of the subway or 66 00:05:10.019 --> 00:05:12.860 you know, whatever moment comes up, pull the phone out and right down 67 00:05:12.899 --> 00:05:16.939 some topics. Here's what we'll talk about. First one, why don't you 68 00:05:17.100 --> 00:05:25.769 have insurance? Be Good. And another one of my favorites is am I 69 00:05:25.889 --> 00:05:31.410 disabled or am I not? What what qualifies one as being disabled? Another 70 00:05:31.490 --> 00:05:36.360 topic I've talked about in the past is the idea that you become the average 71 00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:42.040 of the five people that you are around the most. I also heard another 72 00:05:42.199 --> 00:05:46.879 interesting thing from a podcast called Dharma punks ny see. It's pretty good. 73 00:05:46.920 --> 00:05:50.550 It's like a Buddhist take on life. The thing that struck me about the 74 00:05:50.550 --> 00:05:55.910 Dharma a punk's podcast was they also mentioned the number five, five people, 75 00:05:56.589 --> 00:05:59.069 and they mentioned you don't need a lot of great friends, but you do 76 00:05:59.230 --> 00:06:02.189 need five great friends, which kind of segued into the average of the five 77 00:06:02.269 --> 00:06:06.620 people you're around the most. So I was thinking those five people are pretty 78 00:06:06.620 --> 00:06:10.139 critical and how do you choose those people? So that might be a good 79 00:06:10.139 --> 00:06:14.379 topic to talk about, which then segued into the next topic I wrote down 80 00:06:14.500 --> 00:06:17.810 was how do you surround yourself with supportive people? It's a really tricky question 81 00:06:17.930 --> 00:06:24.889 because if you've lost all of your support circles before you are ever diagnosed with 82 00:06:24.970 --> 00:06:29.209 bipolar or borderline or whatever you have. A lot of times we don't know 83 00:06:29.529 --> 00:06:33.720 about these diagnosis until after we've blown out our social circles and burnt every bridge, 84 00:06:33.720 --> 00:06:36.120 so we have no friends or family left that are willing to help. 85 00:06:36.759 --> 00:06:42.000 So the question is, now that you are now that you know what is 86 00:06:42.199 --> 00:06:46.800 causing the problem, how do you build a supports circle around you with five 87 00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:51.069 great people that can actually help you live and thrive? I had several more 88 00:06:51.189 --> 00:06:56.670 listed here, but I think that's enough topics to kind of get us through 89 00:06:56.829 --> 00:06:59.509 this week's podcast. What do you say? So let me go back up 90 00:06:59.509 --> 00:07:03.139 to the top and the first question I wrote to myself that a lot of 91 00:07:03.180 --> 00:07:11.139 people wonder about is why don't you have insurance? Well, let's give you 92 00:07:11.180 --> 00:07:17.370 a little background. Like many people with mental illnesses and disorders, over the 93 00:07:17.449 --> 00:07:24.490 years I found myself health in the lower middle class in particular, while I'm 94 00:07:24.529 --> 00:07:29.730 fairly intelligent and you know, can hold myself in a conversation most of the 95 00:07:29.810 --> 00:07:32.720 time, unless I'm overly anxious or depressed and can't get out of the House. 96 00:07:33.480 --> 00:07:36.439 But Typically People Think, Oh yeah, he's high functioning person yeah, 97 00:07:36.639 --> 00:07:42.360 he's cool whatever, he could do anything great. Yeah, that actually works 98 00:07:42.360 --> 00:07:46.029 against me because, while I am creative and I can do really cool things 99 00:07:46.149 --> 00:07:49.149 that other people wouldn't think to do, sometimes a lot of that is a 100 00:07:49.189 --> 00:07:54.670 byproduct of my mania, some of that is a byproduct of years of having 101 00:07:54.709 --> 00:07:59.220 a borderline personality disorder where I'm always trying to please other people. I'm not 102 00:07:59.300 --> 00:08:01.740 really sure how I'm as supposed to be, so I'm trying to be how 103 00:08:01.819 --> 00:08:05.740 they want me to be. So I've developed skills to please people around me, 104 00:08:05.420 --> 00:08:09.699 but that doesn't mean I'm that way all of the time. So, 105 00:08:09.899 --> 00:08:13.970 therefore, the life of a person with the sickness I have tends to be 106 00:08:13.569 --> 00:08:18.170 really productive for several months. You can make pretty good money, depending on 107 00:08:18.370 --> 00:08:24.050 what your vocation is, and then the depression comes and cripples you, takes 108 00:08:24.089 --> 00:08:28.560 you out of business, disables you completely. You get broke, you get 109 00:08:28.600 --> 00:08:33.480 flushed down the system again, you find yourself at the bottom, sometimes homeless, 110 00:08:33.159 --> 00:08:37.960 and you have to work your way back up. So what this does 111 00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:43.190 is it creates kind of a roller coaster scenario where you never have continuous healthcare. 112 00:08:43.870 --> 00:08:48.590 You're bumped from private healthcare, like if you've got private insurance through your 113 00:08:48.629 --> 00:08:54.230 job, which sometimes you do, sometimes you don't, through the bottom of 114 00:08:54.269 --> 00:08:58.860 the barrel public health care, Medicaid and medical and things like that. In 115 00:08:58.179 --> 00:09:03.620 California we call it medical in America that's called Medicaid. But generally speaking, 116 00:09:03.740 --> 00:09:09.019 most countries that are in the first world have some kind of medical safety net. 117 00:09:09.460 --> 00:09:13.570 Unfortunately, the government's safety net, throughout all of the advances in technology, 118 00:09:15.049 --> 00:09:20.250 still doesn't communicate well with the capitalist corporate safety nets. So they don't 119 00:09:20.250 --> 00:09:26.000 share information, the continuity of care is non existent and you end up within 120 00:09:26.200 --> 00:09:31.159 very uneven life. One of the by products of an uneven life is low 121 00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:35.039 income. So you'll find lots of people with mental illnesses. If they are 122 00:09:35.080 --> 00:09:39.470 not straight up on disability and don't work at all, they often have low 123 00:09:39.590 --> 00:09:43.870 income jobs for one reason or another, whether they take a job below their 124 00:09:43.870 --> 00:09:46.990 pay because their self esteem is shot or because people have heard about them in 125 00:09:48.029 --> 00:09:52.110 the industry and know that they're quote Unquote Flakey, because depression kicks in sometimes 126 00:09:52.149 --> 00:09:56.139 and takes them out of service. That ends up being where you can normally 127 00:09:56.139 --> 00:09:58.980 makes a hundred thousand dollars. You're now making twenty five Thousan dollars. A 128 00:10:00.019 --> 00:10:05.379 year. So here and starts the problem when you start making that particular range 129 00:10:05.379 --> 00:10:09.769 of money, down to the TWENTYZERO dollar range of year in America, you 130 00:10:09.889 --> 00:10:16.289 make too much to qualify for the free public healthcare, but what you don't 131 00:10:16.330 --> 00:10:22.919 make nearly enough to pay your share of medical insurance through your job. You 132 00:10:22.039 --> 00:10:26.720 certainly don't make enough to pay for completely over the counter. So you end 133 00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:30.519 up in limbo. You end up in a very specific set of circumstances where 134 00:10:30.559 --> 00:10:33.320 you simply can't afford healthcare. And I hear all the time. I've had 135 00:10:33.399 --> 00:10:39.029 a bipolar diagnosis for over fifteen years now and I get tired of people telling 136 00:10:39.110 --> 00:10:41.710 me, Oh, but you have to prioritize, you have to prioritize. 137 00:10:41.710 --> 00:10:46.590 Right, I have to prioritize food and shelter first. Those come first, 138 00:10:48.110 --> 00:10:52.700 and then I try to prioritize transportation to get to the job that may one 139 00:10:52.740 --> 00:10:56.940 day pay for the other things I need. Beyond that, I'm lucky if 140 00:10:56.980 --> 00:11:00.620 I make enough to cover my medication. If I can't cover my medication, 141 00:11:00.700 --> 00:11:05.730 I go without. And again that trips another whole cycle of chaos where you're 142 00:11:05.809 --> 00:11:09.769 on meds, you're abruptly taken off meds, because you don't have anymore, 143 00:11:09.129 --> 00:11:13.809 your back on meds. You're chasing around red tape trying to get free help 144 00:11:15.009 --> 00:11:18.360 or you're trying to scrape enough money together to pay for the quote unquote good 145 00:11:18.399 --> 00:11:24.200 insurance through your job, and in most cases you give up because there it 146 00:11:24.360 --> 00:11:26.600 seems very hopeless. After a five, six, seven, eight years it 147 00:11:26.759 --> 00:11:31.039 just doesn't seem worth it. So you get off that roller coaster and you 148 00:11:31.159 --> 00:11:35.230 stop fighting it to try to have a more peaceful existence without being involved in 149 00:11:35.350 --> 00:11:39.710 some kind of healthcare scenario. Those with bipolar also know that they know what 150 00:11:39.789 --> 00:11:43.190 the scenario is. We know that you go to the doctor to give you 151 00:11:43.269 --> 00:11:46.669 the MEDS, sometimes to give you the ones that you had before. Sometimes 152 00:11:46.710 --> 00:11:48.299 they give you new ones, either because you might need to change up in 153 00:11:48.340 --> 00:11:52.980 the way they work or the insurance doesn't cover them. But at some point 154 00:11:52.019 --> 00:11:56.419 you're changing beds again. You try to get the best therapy you can find. 155 00:11:56.500 --> 00:11:58.899 Sometimes they don't have any therapy at all. It works or it doesn't 156 00:11:58.899 --> 00:12:03.370 work. Eventually it stops working. You fail, you become depressed, you 157 00:12:03.490 --> 00:12:07.409 lose the job, you lose the housing, you lose everything and your back 158 00:12:07.490 --> 00:12:11.129 to the bottom again. And if you think this sounds frustrating. And if 159 00:12:11.169 --> 00:12:16.240 you are frustrated as a family member watching you know, loved one go through 160 00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:22.159 this, imagine being that person. Imagine being that person. I'm stuck in 161 00:12:22.279 --> 00:12:24.879 here, in this brain with the thing that is also causing me to, 162 00:12:26.360 --> 00:12:28.320 you know, suffer through this life. So when people think, oh, 163 00:12:28.600 --> 00:12:33.070 it's really hard living with my loved one who has bipolar disorder, I'm like, 164 00:12:33.190 --> 00:12:35.350 bitch, it's hard living with bipolar disorder. So come on now. 165 00:12:39.549 --> 00:12:45.980 So, given that situation, it might be a lot more understandable now to 166 00:12:46.139 --> 00:12:50.580 realize why so many people with, especially bipolar disorder, simply give up and 167 00:12:50.740 --> 00:12:54.700 go find out how to get disability insurance so they don't have to do anything. 168 00:12:56.139 --> 00:12:58.610 They just mean they have to suffer, sure, but they don't have 169 00:12:58.730 --> 00:13:03.129 to suffer and fight the system just to try to work a job just to 170 00:13:03.169 --> 00:13:07.450 pay for insurance. Once you kind of tap out, you go get the 171 00:13:07.490 --> 00:13:11.049 cheap, cheap insurance because you claim I can't work, I'm disabled. A 172 00:13:11.330 --> 00:13:15.960 Hook me up and the government generally will help you. But here's the RUB. 173 00:13:16.039 --> 00:13:22.159 There they're not really helping you much. They're helping you suffer, they're 174 00:13:22.159 --> 00:13:26.039 helping you barely get by. They don't really pay enough for rent. You're 175 00:13:26.039 --> 00:13:28.789 going to rent. You know you don't make enough in disability to get your 176 00:13:28.830 --> 00:13:35.750 own place. You're prevented from earning money. You can't have a job you 177 00:13:35.870 --> 00:13:39.230 so you kind of stuck now as a slave for the government until you die. 178 00:13:39.870 --> 00:13:43.019 So I don't hate sounds so fatalistic about one direction or the other, 179 00:13:43.820 --> 00:13:46.740 but man, there's got to be a better choice than either. Nope, 180 00:13:46.779 --> 00:13:50.779 you have to prove you're disabled a hundred percent of the time to get disability. 181 00:13:50.299 --> 00:13:54.580 And Oh, we'll try to work as hard as you can and suffer 182 00:13:54.860 --> 00:13:56.570 because you don't have insurance, because you can't afford it, because you haven't 183 00:13:56.570 --> 00:14:01.610 made enough, because your cyclical job nature. But what is it? What 184 00:14:01.769 --> 00:14:05.850 is in between there? I don't know. So anyway, that's that's part 185 00:14:05.889 --> 00:14:11.480 of why a lot of people with mental illnesses don't have insurance. Starting back 186 00:14:11.480 --> 00:14:15.600 to the beginning, there was nobody there. Once we finally got diagnosed, 187 00:14:15.960 --> 00:14:18.320 everybody was already gone. So we don't have that kind of support system. 188 00:14:18.360 --> 00:14:22.840 For one, we have an erratic job history. Regardless of our intelligence or 189 00:14:22.879 --> 00:14:26.710 skills, at some point our brain is going to crap out and leave us 190 00:14:26.909 --> 00:14:31.870 nearly homeless and then the cycle continues. That's the deal. That's why we 191 00:14:31.950 --> 00:14:37.070 don't have insurance sometimes. But I always wonder how does a person with like 192 00:14:37.309 --> 00:14:45.100 this kind of potentially life threatening disability decide that they're going to wear that label? 193 00:14:45.179 --> 00:14:48.220 Like, okay, fuck it, I am disabled, I want the 194 00:14:48.299 --> 00:14:54.330 parking lot plaque, I want to use the special handicap bathroom, whatever. 195 00:14:54.370 --> 00:14:56.210 I want special seats at the movie theater, I want the whole deal. 196 00:14:56.250 --> 00:15:03.049 I'm tapping out. How do you do that? Like, I'm curious because 197 00:15:03.090 --> 00:15:07.360 I consider it often. Sometimes you get right to the brink and I'm like, 198 00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:09.799 man, life shouldn't be this hard. I'm pretty fucking tough. I've 199 00:15:09.919 --> 00:15:13.320 been through a lot of Shit and when I think, man, something is 200 00:15:13.399 --> 00:15:16.919 wrong. Live shouldn't feel this hard. And I look at the folks who 201 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:22.110 have, quote unquote, tapped out and take disability and I'm thinking, man, 202 00:15:22.230 --> 00:15:24.149 maybe that, maybe that's the thing to do. But how do you 203 00:15:24.269 --> 00:15:28.669 decide that? How, if you get disability now, what was your thought 204 00:15:28.789 --> 00:15:35.269 process in getting from there to here now? Did you ever feel like you're 205 00:15:35.389 --> 00:15:37.539 just quitting on life? That I have issues with that. I don't like 206 00:15:37.580 --> 00:15:41.179 to feel like I'm quitting laugh. I don't just want to say yeah, 207 00:15:41.259 --> 00:15:43.620 fuck it, I'll take five hundred dollars a month from the government in the 208 00:15:43.620 --> 00:15:48.659 shitty apartment forever that know that. There's nothing appealing about that to me at 209 00:15:48.740 --> 00:15:52.769 all. Conversely, it's not very appealing, or it doesn't seem even very 210 00:15:52.889 --> 00:15:58.570 fair, that I go out into the world and produce and create cool things, 211 00:15:58.090 --> 00:16:02.490 invent and get abandoned by those who are around me. What I don't 212 00:16:02.570 --> 00:16:06.240 serve their needs. So I'm thinking there's got to be something in between. 213 00:16:06.399 --> 00:16:07.799 But as a person, if you, like I said, if you get 214 00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:12.279 disability, let me know or share somewhere on social media. How do you 215 00:16:12.399 --> 00:16:17.919 get from being, quote unquote, just a sick person to being a disabled 216 00:16:17.960 --> 00:16:21.389 person, and what was that process like? Is it worth it? Now 217 00:16:21.429 --> 00:16:23.789 that you're disabled, are you prevented from doing some things that you think you 218 00:16:23.870 --> 00:16:27.230 might actually be able to do? I mean, like, what are the 219 00:16:27.309 --> 00:16:33.620 limitations of accepting disability? And then what are the benefits? Clearly, not 220 00:16:33.820 --> 00:16:37.179 having to get up and do some horrible, soul crushing work each day, 221 00:16:38.019 --> 00:16:45.419 that's got to be a benefit. MMM, being prevented from doing some soul 222 00:16:45.580 --> 00:16:48.570 enriching work just because, all of a sudden of no, you can't actually 223 00:16:48.570 --> 00:16:51.970 go do that. You can't do that for money because, remember, we're 224 00:16:51.970 --> 00:16:56.970 paying you disability. That doesn't seem right. Here's an idea. Let's check 225 00:16:56.970 --> 00:17:03.359 this out. Try this logic. How about giving people that have bipolar disability 226 00:17:04.240 --> 00:17:12.400 when they're disabled and not when they're able, and stop making the bureaucracy so 227 00:17:12.680 --> 00:17:17.789 slow and heavy so that we're always playing catch up and being reactive. Just 228 00:17:17.990 --> 00:17:21.710 let it be known that's our condition. We need that part of the system 229 00:17:21.789 --> 00:17:26.470 to be more flexible. Sometimes I'm capable, sometimes I'm contributing to society, 230 00:17:26.990 --> 00:17:30.859 other times I'm not and I need help. Doesn't seem hard to figure out, 231 00:17:30.900 --> 00:17:33.460 but the system does not allow for that at all. It's almost like 232 00:17:34.019 --> 00:17:38.819 the system, quote unquote, makes you choose where you're going to be and 233 00:17:38.980 --> 00:17:42.900 once you choose that place, that's it. You don't get to move around, 234 00:17:42.900 --> 00:17:45.849 you don't get there's no variance. You have to be right in that 235 00:17:45.930 --> 00:17:49.049 lane. That's fucking stay in your lane. If you're going to be disabled, 236 00:17:49.529 --> 00:17:53.210 stay disabled. You've going to work. You don't get no help at 237 00:17:53.210 --> 00:17:57.009 all. So how do we fix that? Here's one thing I came up 238 00:17:57.089 --> 00:18:06.680 with. I think people like us should start researching political candidates and ask them 239 00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:12.069 the tough questions about healthcare funding for the mentally ill, and I think we 240 00:18:12.150 --> 00:18:21.029 should share that knowledge using the Hashtag mh voters or mh voter for mental health 241 00:18:21.150 --> 00:18:26.789 voters, so that we can ensure as a society that our needs are being 242 00:18:26.829 --> 00:18:32.339 addressed in a way that is actually proactive and truly helpful. Because maybe you've 243 00:18:32.339 --> 00:18:38.859 been living under a rock, but in America the political situation is highly fucked 244 00:18:38.900 --> 00:18:45.130 up right now. They just borrowed a whole bunch of money against our taxes 245 00:18:45.089 --> 00:18:52.250 to give corporations and rich people tax breaks in order to pay for all of 246 00:18:52.369 --> 00:18:56.680 that. This next year they're going to come for what they call entitlements, 247 00:18:56.799 --> 00:19:02.160 which is really payments to child healthcare, mental health care, healthcare in general. 248 00:19:02.200 --> 00:19:04.759 All that stuff is going to be cut, or they're going to try 249 00:19:04.759 --> 00:19:10.589 to cut it. So as mental health patients and as people with disorders in 250 00:19:10.710 --> 00:19:14.990 society in general that have the ability to stand up for ourselves, I think 251 00:19:14.990 --> 00:19:18.309 it's important that those of us who are paying attention on twitter, on facebook 252 00:19:18.349 --> 00:19:23.269 or youtuber wherever, to kind of join together a little more tightly, engage 253 00:19:23.299 --> 00:19:27.180 each other, be more inclusive, listen to people, talk to people, 254 00:19:27.500 --> 00:19:30.940 follow, share, you know it. Just really engaged. Don't just like, 255 00:19:32.500 --> 00:19:36.140 share some shit, add extra comments. You know, endorse things that 256 00:19:36.259 --> 00:19:40.730 you really feel are important, and one of your biggest signs of endorsement is 257 00:19:40.849 --> 00:19:47.369 simply sharing it. Liking something is kind of acknowledging the statement, but sharing 258 00:19:47.410 --> 00:19:51.569 it really says I endorse this. So I think would you're on facebook or 259 00:19:51.569 --> 00:19:55.440 twitter in particular, share things, just hit the share button or the retweet 260 00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:59.200 button. Don't don't simply hit the little star or the heart. That's not 261 00:19:59.480 --> 00:20:07.549 enough anymore. And that also reminds me if you are a social media administrator 262 00:20:07.829 --> 00:20:12.710 for one of the major mental health organizations or bipolar foundations or whatever, you've 263 00:20:12.750 --> 00:20:15.950 got to get on the job, man. You got to start following people 264 00:20:17.470 --> 00:20:22.660 and retweeting more things. I could see tons of people that are not engage 265 00:20:22.700 --> 00:20:26.420 with you because you're not engaged with them. So if you know anybody that 266 00:20:26.500 --> 00:20:29.539 works for one of those organizations, tell them to get on it. Tell 267 00:20:29.539 --> 00:20:33.859 him there are some there's tons of people. They need to be focused with, 268 00:20:33.380 --> 00:20:37.130 working with that are doing the heavy lifting and they don't get much help 269 00:20:37.210 --> 00:20:41.769 from the major organizations that accept donations in the form of cash. So if 270 00:20:41.809 --> 00:20:47.289 you're working for a big organization, you're getting paid or the organization is taking 271 00:20:47.369 --> 00:20:51.720 donations. You Dan will better be out there following the people doing the half 272 00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:56.400 feel the heavylifting on social media, putting together films and videos and podcasts and 273 00:20:56.480 --> 00:21:00.480 blogs and those sort of things. So we all need to band together to 274 00:21:00.599 --> 00:21:04.269 help each other and be radically inclusive of all of the voices, not just 275 00:21:04.430 --> 00:21:07.509 the ones who speak the way you want them to speak. We have to 276 00:21:07.630 --> 00:21:14.430 include everybody, all right. So I mean it seems pretty straightforward and kind 277 00:21:14.470 --> 00:21:18.509 of self evident, but I think sometimes we need to stop and take a 278 00:21:18.579 --> 00:21:27.900 step back, take a big breath and realize that we do have a big 279 00:21:27.980 --> 00:21:32.970 opportunity to make things better for ourselves, so long as we work together. 280 00:21:33.009 --> 00:21:36.970 All right, let's do that now. The last thing I just wanted to 281 00:21:37.049 --> 00:21:41.529 touch on was that magic number five, when we talked about you becoming the 282 00:21:41.609 --> 00:21:47.480 average of the five people you're around the most, and what Dharma punk's NYC 283 00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:52.359 podcast was talking about having five great friends. So let's talk about that. 284 00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:57.559 How do you personally, how do you go out and find new people to 285 00:21:57.640 --> 00:22:02.509 add to your social circle? Social Circle. How do you do that? 286 00:22:03.789 --> 00:22:07.029 I'm curious to know, because I'm certainly not going to build a social circle 287 00:22:07.069 --> 00:22:12.109 out of people I work with in my industry because my mental illness is too 288 00:22:12.190 --> 00:22:18.740 highly stigmatized, so that's not going to work. I don't like coffee, 289 00:22:18.819 --> 00:22:25.019 so I'm not hanging out at starbucks. I'm atheist, so I'm not at 290 00:22:25.059 --> 00:22:29.339 Church looking at the singles club at Church. I don't drink really. I'm 291 00:22:29.339 --> 00:22:30.289 a drink a little bit, but I don't drink like I'm not going to 292 00:22:30.329 --> 00:22:36.849 go to a bar and drink or go clubb in dating napps. What. 293 00:22:37.170 --> 00:22:42.210 Yeah, whatever. The DBSA groups, I go to the depression bipolar support 294 00:22:42.210 --> 00:22:45.359 alliance groups. Those are great, but you know, I'm not going to 295 00:22:45.480 --> 00:22:51.319 build my my network out of other crazies, because if you become the average 296 00:22:51.319 --> 00:22:53.680 of the five people you're around the most, and I surround myself with five 297 00:22:53.799 --> 00:22:59.869 other fucking bipolar people, then I've got problems. Nothing will ever balance out 298 00:22:59.910 --> 00:23:03.069 right. I ride my bike, I'll go to walks through the park and 299 00:23:03.309 --> 00:23:07.470 everything, but there's just it's hard to meet actual humans in real life, 300 00:23:07.470 --> 00:23:10.869 the kind that you could shake their hand, the kind that you could actually 301 00:23:10.910 --> 00:23:14.859 give a hug to. Where do you meet these people, and remember, 302 00:23:14.900 --> 00:23:18.940 I'm talking about where do you meet them once you've already burned out your traditional, 303 00:23:19.059 --> 00:23:22.579 kind of built in social circles when you have a mental disorder? Like 304 00:23:22.660 --> 00:23:26.099 I said, if you're listening to this without a mental disorder, this is 305 00:23:26.170 --> 00:23:30.049 what happened to us. I'm able to convey this because I feel good now 306 00:23:30.130 --> 00:23:33.809 and this is I'm on point today. But a lot of us we've burned 307 00:23:33.849 --> 00:23:37.009 out our complete social and family circles. Our family doesn't want anything to do 308 00:23:37.089 --> 00:23:41.960 with us and our friends don't either. Whether or not they knew about our 309 00:23:41.079 --> 00:23:45.279 diagnosis when they bailed on us is not really relevant to us at this point. 310 00:23:45.319 --> 00:23:48.880 The point is they're just not here and they're not coming back. So 311 00:23:49.279 --> 00:23:52.920 we're always trying to find like even one good friends. So how do you 312 00:23:53.039 --> 00:23:57.390 find five? How do you build a support network of five people? It's 313 00:23:57.390 --> 00:24:02.230 kind of like how would you build your ultimate x man team? And, 314 00:24:02.390 --> 00:24:06.430 if you could, what types of people would you put in those different roles 315 00:24:07.150 --> 00:24:11.140 in your five supportive group people like you? Let's call them your Fox force 316 00:24:11.220 --> 00:24:17.180 five. So, in building your Fox force five, what kind of superpowers 317 00:24:17.220 --> 00:24:18.700 do you want do you want a leader? Do you want someone with a 318 00:24:19.299 --> 00:24:25.170 lot of empathy? Do you want somebody that's kind, or a doctor or 319 00:24:25.250 --> 00:24:27.049 a car mechanic or whatever like? What kind of people do you want in 320 00:24:27.089 --> 00:24:33.170 your social circle that you feel with support your life and make things somewhat easier 321 00:24:33.210 --> 00:24:37.049 for you? I hadn't honestly given that any thought until I heard this Dharma 322 00:24:37.130 --> 00:24:41.640 punk's podcast. So I've been giving it more thought lately, and one of 323 00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:45.759 the main reasons is because when I have mania, people love to be around 324 00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:51.160 me and they harness my energy and kind of sap on like what you call 325 00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:56.829 them, like, HMM, I don't know, something that leaches onto something 326 00:24:56.869 --> 00:24:59.430 else, like a Leech, I guess, a parasite or something, something 327 00:24:59.430 --> 00:25:03.029 that feeds off others. So when I have lots of energy, if I'm 328 00:25:03.029 --> 00:25:06.950 at work, people feed off that. They kind of latch onto me until 329 00:25:06.990 --> 00:25:08.900 it's all gone, and one of my energy is all gone, they leave 330 00:25:10.619 --> 00:25:15.460 the parties over. Folks. Now John Stuck in depression alone, nobody to 331 00:25:15.539 --> 00:25:19.539 help. So I'm thinking like the people that I'm looking for my support circle 332 00:25:19.859 --> 00:25:26.450 would be understanding of somebody with depression in particular, maybe bipolar generally, because 333 00:25:26.529 --> 00:25:30.650 I don't accept. I don't expect people to embrace my mania fully, but 334 00:25:30.769 --> 00:25:36.480 I'm not dangerous and I usually do really productive things when I'm mannic. However, 335 00:25:36.559 --> 00:25:37.920 when I'm depressed, I need somebody to be there that I know they're 336 00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:41.359 not going to bail on me, start talking some shit, start pretending they're 337 00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:47.079 ignorant about mental health or gas light me or any of those things. The 338 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:49.470 problem is always a problem. Right now, not necessarily, but the problem 339 00:25:49.470 --> 00:25:55.190 with this particular problem I've been addressing for fifteen years or so, is that 340 00:25:55.589 --> 00:25:59.950 there's not a great way when you're building a support network, when you're building 341 00:25:59.990 --> 00:26:03.789 your Fox force five, there's not a great way to bring the subject up 342 00:26:03.619 --> 00:26:07.579 like, Hey, I'm building my Fox force five, I have by polar 343 00:26:07.660 --> 00:26:15.420 disorder and I need somebody that's very empathetic on Sundays. Where do you do 344 00:26:15.579 --> 00:26:17.980 that? There's not an APP for that. Is that APP for a lot 345 00:26:17.980 --> 00:26:21.730 of Shit, but not that. And even once you do make a new 346 00:26:21.769 --> 00:26:25.769 friend, after three or four months, there comes the big test, or 347 00:26:25.809 --> 00:26:26.890 it might it might not even be that long, it might just be a 348 00:26:26.970 --> 00:26:30.650 day or two, but at some point will come the switch tests, when 349 00:26:30.690 --> 00:26:36.279 you change from the person they met to your other side. With me, 350 00:26:36.440 --> 00:26:40.640 that typically means I go from being the manic person they love and the life 351 00:26:40.680 --> 00:26:44.559 of the party that they met that one day to now the depressive person that 352 00:26:45.240 --> 00:26:48.309 ghosts them for a week or two because I can't crawl out of bad or 353 00:26:48.349 --> 00:26:52.190 answer my phone. How do you deal with that as a person who's like 354 00:26:52.309 --> 00:26:55.589 looking for new friends? Big Questions Right, I don't know. I don't 355 00:26:55.630 --> 00:26:57.789 have the answers. Maybe you do. I know there's a lot of people 356 00:26:57.829 --> 00:27:02.700 that download this podcast and I know there's a lot of people from countries all 357 00:27:02.740 --> 00:27:07.940 around the world. So your international perspective on maybe how to meet New People 358 00:27:08.140 --> 00:27:11.380 or, I don't know, about things to do, but maybe just a 359 00:27:11.420 --> 00:27:15.930 different approach to the things I already do? Something like that, like how 360 00:27:15.970 --> 00:27:18.809 to break the ice. Yeah, anyway, I really could use your help 361 00:27:18.849 --> 00:27:22.730 on that one. I will update you more as things progress here. About 362 00:27:22.809 --> 00:27:27.569 the Psychic Dot Media Office. If you didn't know, a couple of other 363 00:27:27.650 --> 00:27:33.759 podcasters and filmmaker and stuff got together on facebook to start a facebook group to 364 00:27:33.880 --> 00:27:38.279 help promote other people who create content geared toward the mental health audience, and 365 00:27:38.440 --> 00:27:45.069 that is at psych dot media. You could join us there, but I 366 00:27:45.230 --> 00:27:48.470 think I might get out of their office and start recording in a new place 367 00:27:48.549 --> 00:27:53.750 which has a little bit of a little more visual appeal. If we do, 368 00:27:55.109 --> 00:27:59.299 I'll put that up on Youtube and you can watch me podcasts from my 369 00:27:59.420 --> 00:28:03.579 viewpoint. Cool. Aside from that, I think I'm doing all right. 370 00:28:03.740 --> 00:28:08.420 Thanks for letting me get that off my chest and share about why people don't 371 00:28:08.420 --> 00:28:12.690 have insurance, share a little request for help about how to build a support 372 00:28:12.769 --> 00:28:18.170 network of my Fox force five people. And lastly, I'm going to be 373 00:28:18.289 --> 00:28:23.089 doing a guest spot on a cool podcast called come to the table. It's 374 00:28:23.089 --> 00:28:29.400 a faith based podcast where they bring voices from all different backgrounds together to talk 375 00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:33.720 about their relationships with or without God, what their walk of life is like 376 00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:38.480 and how the whole thing kind of intermixes together. Sounds fine to listen to 377 00:28:38.519 --> 00:28:42.349 a few episodes, so I encourage you to go listen to both the Dharma 378 00:28:42.430 --> 00:28:48.670 punks NYC podcast and also come to the table, which is again is a 379 00:28:48.710 --> 00:28:52.549 faith based product podcast. Like I said, I'm not faith based now anymore, 380 00:28:52.630 --> 00:28:56.259 but I appreciate that and I really look forward to to having that kind 381 00:28:56.259 --> 00:29:00.859 of open, warm discussion where we can include all of the voices and maybe 382 00:29:02.380 --> 00:29:06.900 spread some love on both sides and keep things moving forward. Keep twenty eighteen 383 00:29:06.940 --> 00:29:11.130 on the positive tip. I really appreciate you listening. Go ahead and hit 384 00:29:11.170 --> 00:29:17.170 that subscribe button. If you want a free t shirt, go to John 385 00:29:17.250 --> 00:29:22.490 emotionscomas join get on my email list. I don't know what I'm going to 386 00:29:22.569 --> 00:29:26.079 do with it yet. I'm not going to spam you. Obviously. I'm 387 00:29:26.119 --> 00:29:30.279 just one dude. I don't like to be beholding to facebook or twitter or 388 00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:34.000 Google plus or anyone platform, so having an email list of my own is 389 00:29:34.079 --> 00:29:37.750 very helpful for me. I plan on doing a newsletter, maybe quarterly, 390 00:29:37.869 --> 00:29:41.190 something like that. You won't get any more email from me than that, 391 00:29:41.710 --> 00:29:45.230 but if you do go up and sign up right now, you can not 392 00:29:45.430 --> 00:29:49.430 only get some behind the scenes information, you can get links to hidden podcast 393 00:29:49.670 --> 00:29:55.140 videos and you can also get a free t shirt. If you are the 394 00:29:55.180 --> 00:29:57.500 one who shares and likes the most throughout the month. You can check that 395 00:29:57.660 --> 00:30:04.779 ouut on my leaderboard at John emotionscom. Slash leaderboard. So go check it 396 00:30:04.819 --> 00:30:10.049 out. All right, we cool, cool. You be good to yourself, 397 00:30:10.250 --> 00:30:14.890 because I can't always be there for you. Look forward to hearing from 398 00:30:14.930 --> 00:30:18.250 you and it. Look forward to talking in a week or so. Take 399 00:30:18.329 --> 00:30:22.640 care of bipolar people. Over and now. If you've liked what you heard, 400 00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:29.240 subscribe on Apple podcast via Itunes and join us at by polar stylecom. 401 00:30:29.880 --> 00:30:30.880 Thanks for listening.