Postpartum Bipolar Disorder with Dyane Harwood

WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:10.150 Hey, welcome back to bipolar style, the podcast for bipolar people and those 2 00:00:10.230 --> 00:00:16.269 who love them. Join US online at bipolar stylecom. I now use your 3 00:00:16.309 --> 00:00:22.899 host, Johnny motion. Thank you, Jules, the Nice introduction and welcome 4 00:00:22.899 --> 00:00:28.620 back to the bipolar style podcast. Today I'm especially esteemed to have such a 5 00:00:28.699 --> 00:00:32.420 great guest. She's an author. She actually wrote a book. Do you 6 00:00:32.500 --> 00:00:35.500 know hard that is to write a book, especially if you have bipolar? 7 00:00:35.850 --> 00:00:40.729 So she wrote a book about something I knew nothing about, called postpartum bipolar 8 00:00:40.810 --> 00:00:44.210 depression. She's on twitter. I'm going to give you a twitter handle on 9 00:00:44.250 --> 00:00:49.450 a second so you can follow along while we're talking. Her name is Diane 10 00:00:49.929 --> 00:00:54.439 Harwood. Thanks for coming on the show, Diane, really happy to be 11 00:00:54.640 --> 00:00:57.439 here. I wish I was the first guest. I was a little jealous 12 00:00:57.439 --> 00:01:02.000 of Japon B but but he's so cool and goodlooking I'm okay with it now 13 00:01:03.200 --> 00:01:06.750 I knew it. I'm like, Dude, when people because there's a it's 14 00:01:06.870 --> 00:01:10.150 hard to like, be out like you guys are, so to speak, 15 00:01:10.469 --> 00:01:12.030 because of the stigma in the world. So when you put your real name 16 00:01:12.109 --> 00:01:15.709 out there and your real face, I give you props. But yeah, 17 00:01:15.709 --> 00:01:19.620 I'm all Jason when people start hearing this podcast and seen your face, you 18 00:01:19.700 --> 00:01:23.019 know you can have some admirers and your wife is going to be beating him 19 00:01:23.019 --> 00:01:27.099 off the stick. So pretty soon we'll have like the bipolar grudge match of 20 00:01:27.379 --> 00:01:32.260 twitter people against twitter people. It'll be awesome. No, I'm just teasing. 21 00:01:33.090 --> 00:01:34.969 So thanks for thanks for coming on, though you were maybe not the 22 00:01:36.049 --> 00:01:40.769 first guess, but you were definitely the first top supporter in September. You 23 00:01:40.969 --> 00:01:44.489 kicked everybody's but on my leaderboard, so thank you for that. Right. 24 00:01:44.609 --> 00:01:48.040 There's crazy algorithms in that. The reason you couldn't get back up the next 25 00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:53.239 month because one of the main point earners for that algorithm is signing up. 26 00:01:53.519 --> 00:01:56.159 So when you sign up to your email address, you get like a whole 27 00:01:56.200 --> 00:01:59.640 bunch of points and it's hard to get that many points through just tweeting and 28 00:01:59.719 --> 00:02:01.469 common anyway, it's angled for me to get more people to sign up so 29 00:02:01.510 --> 00:02:06.430 I have a bigger email list ultimately. Yeah, well, I'm glad you 30 00:02:06.469 --> 00:02:08.069 explain it to me because I wanted to win again. I wanted to get 31 00:02:08.069 --> 00:02:12.750 another shirt. So I love my shirt. You just have to say sign 32 00:02:12.750 --> 00:02:15.740 up with another email addressed like I do. I know, I just well, 33 00:02:15.020 --> 00:02:19.060 that as the call. I mean really well, I guess I said 34 00:02:19.139 --> 00:02:22.379 you could do it because I like the idea of people having the shirts anyways, 35 00:02:22.460 --> 00:02:25.620 and it's way cheaper for me than paying for twitter ads to just go 36 00:02:25.819 --> 00:02:29.419 buy a shirt for somebody who doesn't love t shirts. Right. Yeah, 37 00:02:30.250 --> 00:02:34.650 and you like the shirt. I honestly, I really like hd about wearing 38 00:02:34.729 --> 00:02:38.889 like I've never worn a shirt about bipolar before and I like about the shirt. 39 00:02:38.969 --> 00:02:40.810 The thing that you haven't doesn't like to say bi polar on it. 40 00:02:40.849 --> 00:02:45.159 It kind of needs a little bit to the imagination. Man. I don't 41 00:02:45.199 --> 00:02:47.960 like shirts say like by pooler. You know, that's what I was thinking. 42 00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:51.520 I'm like, how can we be sneaky about this and get a brand 43 00:02:51.599 --> 00:02:55.240 out there that we could recognize each other but without having to explain ourselves to 44 00:02:55.759 --> 00:03:00.469 normies on actually a church Guy, that a guy work with that at work 45 00:03:00.550 --> 00:03:04.150 who's really in the church and stuff. He's like a pastor on his spare 46 00:03:04.229 --> 00:03:07.629 time. He's straight up asked me yesterday. He's all so you're going to 47 00:03:07.669 --> 00:03:10.389 tell me what your shirt means? And I'm like, Oh, yeah, 48 00:03:10.430 --> 00:03:13.419 it's a Yin Yang. He's all, yeah, I got that. It's 49 00:03:13.419 --> 00:03:15.979 a Yingyang. I'm like, well, it's a happy and Yang. He's 50 00:03:15.020 --> 00:03:19.419 like, Oh, okay, I see, that was it. I just 51 00:03:19.500 --> 00:03:22.900 left it. Yeah, yeah, I just left it with that. That's 52 00:03:23.099 --> 00:03:24.780 that that you worked and work, because I know you're on the downlow and 53 00:03:24.900 --> 00:03:29.210 you really careful. So Oh, yeah, yeah, but it's such as 54 00:03:29.250 --> 00:03:31.689 such an inane graphic and I liked looking at it, you know, just 55 00:03:31.849 --> 00:03:36.889 it's pleasing to me to look as though anyway. All, enough about the 56 00:03:36.969 --> 00:03:40.090 t shirts. But people could always go to like bipolar stylecom and buy a 57 00:03:40.169 --> 00:03:43.479 t shirt that we're talking about. But I know that. I noticed though, 58 00:03:43.520 --> 00:03:46.960 like I'm wearing my sweatshirt right now and this logo is cool on me 59 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:51.560 because I'm kind of giant, but that logos humongous on your tank top. 60 00:03:51.639 --> 00:03:54.360 So I got to fix that. It's like the size of our LP and 61 00:03:54.439 --> 00:03:59.430 I'm like Whoa, okay, so I apologize. So you have like a 62 00:03:59.509 --> 00:04:01.870 rare addition. I'm going to make much smaller logos, but I don't want 63 00:04:01.870 --> 00:04:04.590 to make it too small look like a third breast in the middle either. 64 00:04:04.669 --> 00:04:08.710 So it's right. There's that got to be a happy medium, maybe like 65 00:04:08.789 --> 00:04:12.979 a forty five disc funny. Yeah, this is very big. I had 66 00:04:13.060 --> 00:04:16.100 to kind of struggle to get the late Selfie to con see the whole thing. 67 00:04:16.860 --> 00:04:18.660 I don't know, I think that I screwed up, but chill, 68 00:04:18.779 --> 00:04:21.180 you know, it's great the fact that people know that, oh it, 69 00:04:21.339 --> 00:04:26.410 that's actually a brand in the real world and not just the icon on somebody's 70 00:04:26.410 --> 00:04:30.449 twitter account. It starts to make it more more of a thing. Okay, 71 00:04:30.490 --> 00:04:32.089 so we can talk to the entire podcast about this. Let's do that. 72 00:04:32.250 --> 00:04:35.569 Just kidding. Okay, yeah, because you should have your own podcast, 73 00:04:35.689 --> 00:04:39.519 but your kind of like my other friend who just hops around from podcast 74 00:04:39.560 --> 00:04:44.040 to podcast and everybody knows him as like a podcaster, but he doesn't have 75 00:04:44.079 --> 00:04:46.000 to do the work of putting together a podcast. And like that's me like 76 00:04:46.439 --> 00:04:49.519 going to jam night at the local bar. I don't have to like be 77 00:04:49.720 --> 00:04:54.949 in a band or, you know, maintain gear or slip around any gear. 78 00:04:54.949 --> 00:04:58.110 I just show up and hit drums. So that's what you guys are. 79 00:04:58.509 --> 00:05:02.310 You're like you're like jam night podcast gets it is, you know, 80 00:05:02.470 --> 00:05:06.069 and I kind of made like the similar type of mistake thirteen I did my 81 00:05:06.180 --> 00:05:13.379 first, very first book train flash. I did twainment educational powerpoint presentation which 82 00:05:13.620 --> 00:05:16.699 I saw. That crowd was like the whole room. It was a it 83 00:05:16.819 --> 00:05:21.410 was a lot of work and everybody had our hands up asking questions. Yeah, 84 00:05:23.129 --> 00:05:25.290 now, how that go? Tell me more about how you set up 85 00:05:25.290 --> 00:05:28.930 a book signing and well, let's back up. Let's talk about the book. 86 00:05:28.970 --> 00:05:30.529 Well, you can come back on another shown. We'll talk about rejection 87 00:05:30.610 --> 00:05:35.000 and how you found out about your own bipolar. But so you have you 88 00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:42.600 written a book, which is no small feet, about something called Postpartum bipolar 89 00:05:42.639 --> 00:05:46.639 depression, which I totally butchered a couple episodes a guy. I kept calling 90 00:05:46.680 --> 00:05:48.680 it something that's not. I can't remember. I mix the words up, 91 00:05:49.589 --> 00:05:54.149 but anyway, postpartum depression. But it's not just the depression, it's it 92 00:05:54.350 --> 00:05:58.990 postpartum Manias louted in that, which is really the part that makes you feel, 93 00:05:59.269 --> 00:06:02.069 or it makes me feel, quote unquote, crazy. Depression just makes 94 00:06:02.069 --> 00:06:05.500 you feel like I want to die, it makes me feel like miserable, 95 00:06:05.500 --> 00:06:10.660 everyone hates me. But when the mania starts leaking in, then I start 96 00:06:10.699 --> 00:06:14.540 to have the energy to take action on some of those negative things and you 97 00:06:14.660 --> 00:06:16.660 start to like get your pull your hair out, Bang your head against the 98 00:06:16.740 --> 00:06:20.930 wall kind of feeling. So how I don't even know how to dig into 99 00:06:20.970 --> 00:06:26.290 this because I don't know much about postpartum depression to begin with. So let's 100 00:06:26.290 --> 00:06:28.769 start there. Can Tell me about, or tell them, tell the men 101 00:06:28.850 --> 00:06:32.519 listeners about, what postpartum depression is, how you get it and the difference 102 00:06:32.519 --> 00:06:39.199 between that and bipolar okay, very, very good question. Especially well, 103 00:06:39.399 --> 00:06:44.160 first of all, okay, is called postpartum bipolar disorder because it encompasses this 104 00:06:44.360 --> 00:06:46.790 part of depression and post part of media. But all, I'll get back 105 00:06:46.870 --> 00:06:49.509 to that one and the second and start with the one that most people have 106 00:06:49.670 --> 00:06:56.430 heard about the media, which is just postpartum depression. It's a mood disorder 107 00:06:56.670 --> 00:07:00.310 parents to pull a pernial we disorder that strikes after you've had a baby and 108 00:07:00.459 --> 00:07:05.860 it can actually happen during pregnancy to where you have horrible, horrible depression and 109 00:07:06.019 --> 00:07:11.060 you have all the same symptoms as any guy who's had terrible depression, except 110 00:07:11.100 --> 00:07:15.300 you have a baby with you right right. There's you know, there's a 111 00:07:15.300 --> 00:07:17.370 lot of awareness with it. Now. There needs to be more, of 112 00:07:17.490 --> 00:07:21.410 course, but there's a lot of awareness. It's really obvious, like if 113 00:07:21.490 --> 00:07:27.850 you have terrible depression, people notice that around juice. What what was hard. 114 00:07:28.610 --> 00:07:31.399 Forgive me for jumping back and forth between these two carnade on new disorders. 115 00:07:31.439 --> 00:07:35.959 You look like your bipolar or something. Which one? It's like your 116 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:40.079 bipolar or something. All the jumping back and forth. Hee's. Oh, 117 00:07:40.279 --> 00:07:44.000 now, dare I know? I'm for I'm sorry, the unfortunately, and 118 00:07:44.750 --> 00:07:47.350 I'm good right now. I'm stable, you're great and I'm totally fault. 119 00:07:47.389 --> 00:07:50.389 I'm totally following. So yeah, keep going on. This is totally curious 120 00:07:50.389 --> 00:07:56.870 about this. That's that's the miracle. It's not not on your house. 121 00:07:56.949 --> 00:08:01.899 But anyway, post from bipolar can be really tricky because they can ash ass 122 00:08:01.019 --> 00:08:05.579 either as postpartms repression, as depression after you have the baby, or as 123 00:08:05.779 --> 00:08:09.300 Menia. So if you have the mania, which is what I had, 124 00:08:09.379 --> 00:08:13.810 I'd post part of mania after my second daughter was born. I seem really 125 00:08:13.889 --> 00:08:18.810 happy, but I didn't seem crazy off the hook happy. Right. No 126 00:08:18.129 --> 00:08:22.610 one. You know there's a problem here. But what I did over the 127 00:08:22.689 --> 00:08:26.240 six weeks that followed was that it just escalated. It got worse and worse 128 00:08:26.279 --> 00:08:31.759 and worse. It was undetected and went from Hypomania, which you know means 129 00:08:31.800 --> 00:08:37.120 Lesser Mania, into full blown acute media where it was just like not sleeping 130 00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:39.159 and I was and then, oh you'll love this I was doing. It's 131 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:46.789 really weird symptoms called Hypergraphia, the condition where you just write like non stop. 132 00:08:48.789 --> 00:08:52.070 That explain? No, I haven't, but explains how you were able 133 00:08:52.070 --> 00:08:54.980 to write a book. What you even it took me ten years to write 134 00:08:56.019 --> 00:08:58.340 the book. When you have Hypergraphia, a lot of times of stuff you 135 00:08:58.419 --> 00:09:03.620 write is like, pardon my friends, that Shit and can't even legible. 136 00:09:03.860 --> 00:09:07.419 It'll be like a squall. What you think that manic and you think that 137 00:09:07.700 --> 00:09:11.529 you're writing like the next Bible. I wrote stuff like that when I want. 138 00:09:11.529 --> 00:09:15.610 It's on LSD once and I'd mind, this is so profound, I 139 00:09:15.690 --> 00:09:18.370 unlock the secret to the world. And then the next day I woke up, 140 00:09:18.450 --> 00:09:22.210 you know, straight saying or whatever, and I'm like this is garbage, 141 00:09:22.250 --> 00:09:26.799 this is not profound, this is just this is like kindergard or whatever 142 00:09:26.919 --> 00:09:30.279 it was. I was judging myself backwards, but it when you're manic, 143 00:09:30.840 --> 00:09:33.879 was a strange, strange similarity to be in on lst with those kind of 144 00:09:33.919 --> 00:09:35.960 thoughts that it's like, Oh, this is this is some great writing. 145 00:09:37.320 --> 00:09:41.590 I like to think maybe in another timeline it is. But yeah, well, 146 00:09:41.669 --> 00:09:46.029 critically it wasn't your brain. And this I should throw this a little 147 00:09:46.070 --> 00:09:48.230 factory out of you, cause you'll appreciate this, but most of the people 148 00:09:48.230 --> 00:09:54.220 who get hypergraphia they have temporal lobe epilept who don't have but a lot of 149 00:09:54.259 --> 00:09:56.059 people would buy fuller get it by calling me and triggers it. They just 150 00:09:56.179 --> 00:10:03.019 not talked about that much. So solver really lest activates the temporal lobe of 151 00:10:03.100 --> 00:10:05.100 the brain. As what I'm thinking. Yeah, that that is interesting. 152 00:10:05.139 --> 00:10:09.570 HMM. We're not scientist folks, we're not doctors, but this, that's 153 00:10:09.649 --> 00:10:15.409 totally fast, because the lot like Lamiqutol and things like that, those kind 154 00:10:15.409 --> 00:10:20.289 of minds are also given to people with epilepsy's Funny Anti Sus right, I've 155 00:10:20.330 --> 00:10:24.279 taken that. Ye, yeah, I mean that's a antiseesiar saying anti. 156 00:10:24.639 --> 00:10:28.679 I guess it's called Antiseesiar, but that's given to buy polar folks. Interesting. 157 00:10:28.679 --> 00:10:33.759 The brain such a fascinating thing. So Hypographia, Huh, and hypergraph 158 00:10:33.799 --> 00:10:39.590 yet hyper okay, hyprography type. If it's Hypographia, then you're like writing, 159 00:10:39.750 --> 00:10:45.789 really, my letters are mooting it. Yeah, my husband was like 160 00:10:45.950 --> 00:10:48.789 what the Hell Pam with you and he a laptop. I would find it 161 00:10:48.830 --> 00:10:52.299 in the middle of the night because I wasn't sleeping, and then when he 162 00:10:52.580 --> 00:10:56.179 his hiding places got really good, I would just pret a pencil and like 163 00:10:56.299 --> 00:11:00.659 still up and like this other woman, the same as writer, who wrote 164 00:11:00.700 --> 00:11:03.539 about it, she would write on her body, and she's right, on 165 00:11:03.620 --> 00:11:07.929 her arms. Yeah, Yours, toilet paper, whatever surface you can. 166 00:11:07.049 --> 00:11:11.210 So it's like you really do, your brain really does go hanywhere. So 167 00:11:11.289 --> 00:11:13.730 I don't not only had put Parmnia that, I also had this other bizarre 168 00:11:15.129 --> 00:11:18.480 whoa it was like. And I would even too high, and that's my 169 00:11:18.679 --> 00:11:22.600 but I would do it when I's resting both of my kids, because I 170 00:11:22.679 --> 00:11:26.200 was still resting the older one, which is total hippie Santa Cruz. So 171 00:11:26.279 --> 00:11:31.240 I'd be writing nonstop while breasting to Chom. Well, the writing part, 172 00:11:31.279 --> 00:11:37.509 because now I'm just imagining like long passages of paragraph that you'd see in a 173 00:11:37.590 --> 00:11:41.350 bathroom stall at the library or something. Now thinking maybe that person had Hypergraphia, 174 00:11:41.429 --> 00:11:46.309 like what? Maybe? Yeah, and and I don't know, I'm 175 00:11:46.350 --> 00:11:48.659 trying not to laugh at at your condition, because I'm sure it's maddening when 176 00:11:48.700 --> 00:11:52.500 you have it, but that explains a lotting. I didn't know that that 177 00:11:52.580 --> 00:11:54.139 was a thing. I learned something new. I have to laugh. You 178 00:11:54.259 --> 00:11:56.700 have to laugh. There has to be some humor, you know, so 179 00:11:56.899 --> 00:12:01.250 I do. Is that related to OCD, sort of the hypergraphical or no? 180 00:12:03.210 --> 00:12:05.090 I actually don't know. It's long as there's a wikipedia page. Wow, 181 00:12:05.370 --> 00:12:09.450 check it out. Yeah, you know wikipedia. It's just plus. 182 00:12:09.490 --> 00:12:15.169 It's an awesome name for a band, Hypergraphia Dodd. The probably is there's 183 00:12:15.210 --> 00:12:20.279 gonna be now, honestly, is bipolar people. It's cool and a lady, 184 00:12:20.279 --> 00:12:22.159 because I did feel like I had I had the grandiose thinking going. 185 00:12:22.279 --> 00:12:24.720 So I thought, well, I can finally write and they have all these 186 00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:30.509 important things to write about. But you know, they just with the word 187 00:12:30.549 --> 00:12:33.029 they evaporated. But at the time you feel like it just if you've ever 188 00:12:33.110 --> 00:12:37.029 had witers blocked, this is opposite and it's like a dream in a way. 189 00:12:37.070 --> 00:12:39.070 It's like a great thing to do. I mean like, I know 190 00:12:39.110 --> 00:12:46.980 you're a musician. It would be like a drum drummer. No, but 191 00:12:46.100 --> 00:12:50.379 I think I'm just saying because I'm also a graphic designer. My daytime job 192 00:12:50.460 --> 00:12:54.580 is graphic design and when people tickle my fancy with like an idea, my 193 00:12:54.860 --> 00:12:58.169 first thought is like jump on the computer or grab a sketch pad or something 194 00:12:58.250 --> 00:13:03.409 and and design something like design of visual of what you were talking about, 195 00:13:05.250 --> 00:13:09.090 and it comes out really organically. So it works great in the design field 196 00:13:09.090 --> 00:13:11.330 because of people come to me with like a logo concept. I spit it 197 00:13:11.409 --> 00:13:15.360 out in two hours just because of like Oh, I got it. It's 198 00:13:15.399 --> 00:13:18.559 like the force flows through you and it's like Whoa, take your hands away 199 00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:22.360 from the computer. Just let it do its thing. It's so you got 200 00:13:22.480 --> 00:13:26.720 in talking so much. I've been can't help it. This is funny, 201 00:13:26.470 --> 00:13:30.669 but no, it'd be like that that let's they be inspired for eight hours 202 00:13:30.830 --> 00:13:33.149 to do the same thing. Yeah, and when you ain't want to stop 203 00:13:33.230 --> 00:13:37.389 and you're having that mannic, it feels like the flow, the flow that 204 00:13:37.429 --> 00:13:39.389 people are normal people attain, you know, try to try to attain. 205 00:13:39.870 --> 00:13:43.059 Sometimes mania feels like the flow. It feels like, oh here, yeah, 206 00:13:43.139 --> 00:13:48.379 just coming out that kind I have such a hard time saying that that's 207 00:13:48.460 --> 00:13:52.059 bad at all, but while you have it, it's a bit feeling of 208 00:13:52.220 --> 00:13:58.210 out of control. This yeah, it was like yeah, I mean it's 209 00:13:58.250 --> 00:14:01.610 just a bittersweet thing because I wouldn't really present. Like I what am I 210 00:14:01.649 --> 00:14:05.610 saying? I wasn't present for my chime. It's a little little fals who 211 00:14:05.690 --> 00:14:09.679 deserved another WHO's there instead of off in Wallah land or whatever. So that's 212 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:15.600 that's such an interesting concept right there. What you talked about like because you 213 00:14:15.840 --> 00:14:20.720 were actually there. It's and what you're considering, quote unquote, there is 214 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:24.269 more like the reflection of how there you are now. So you only you 215 00:14:24.429 --> 00:14:26.429 look back. It's like, man, I wish I could be as present 216 00:14:26.509 --> 00:14:31.669 with my kids then as I'm able to be now. But the realities you 217 00:14:31.710 --> 00:14:33.389 were there. I mean you were there and they just saw you as a 218 00:14:33.429 --> 00:14:37.700 different kind of person or different personality. But since they grow with you, 219 00:14:39.299 --> 00:14:41.620 I think all thing kind of dovetail at the end. So right now they 220 00:14:41.700 --> 00:14:45.100 probably think, oh, yeah, that's that's mom, and she's she is 221 00:14:45.299 --> 00:14:48.179 present and she does her best. But yeah, they do know that now, 222 00:14:48.500 --> 00:14:52.500 but I just like I could have to do over. That's all I'm 223 00:14:52.580 --> 00:14:56.370 saying, is like that's what totally feel that way. Good bipolar guilt, 224 00:14:56.450 --> 00:14:58.769 the bipolar shame of all the things we think we fucked up. Yep, 225 00:14:58.809 --> 00:15:03.929 yeah, yeah, that's cool. So you know, so you got media? 226 00:15:03.090 --> 00:15:05.529 Yeah, you got media. When you're preggned it then and you got 227 00:15:05.850 --> 00:15:11.440 hypographia. What happens? Okay, so how do you go from there to 228 00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:15.039 really finding out you had the mania? How do they determine that, because 229 00:15:15.080 --> 00:15:16.799 it wasn't you know, this is still a relatively new thing. I don't 230 00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:22.110 hear people talking about it in support groups or anything. And then connect that 231 00:15:22.230 --> 00:15:26.750 with how you thought. I think I'll write a book about this. That's 232 00:15:26.789 --> 00:15:30.269 a that's awesome questions. Okay, remember, just ten years ago, this 233 00:15:30.429 --> 00:15:33.470 is two thousand and seven. So things are reason. You know, even 234 00:15:33.669 --> 00:15:37.259 there's nothing going on far as awareness. But because I had been raised by 235 00:15:37.340 --> 00:15:41.139 my dad who has bipolar disorder, there was a part of me that knew 236 00:15:41.259 --> 00:15:46.139 something was really messed up, and either is part of me that I now 237 00:15:46.259 --> 00:15:48.379 believe that was in denial, like I knew I had I think a part 238 00:15:48.379 --> 00:15:52.490 of me telling knew I had bipolar but I just wanted to not admitted because 239 00:15:52.570 --> 00:15:56.769 I was terrified. Right. But things got so crazy that Craig and I 240 00:15:58.009 --> 00:16:00.850 together was like, okay, I have to go down to the Bhu, 241 00:16:00.450 --> 00:16:03.519 which, ironically, we used to live like literally done. You live one 242 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:07.159 block away from the White Unit went down to the what what do you call 243 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:12.159 it? The Ha? You're all unit health, Behavioral Health Unit, you're 244 00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:15.480 still over there. But the Bhu, Oh, yeah, you've pretty familiar 245 00:16:15.519 --> 00:16:18.190 with it. If you start to call it by its initials, that's that's 246 00:16:18.230 --> 00:16:22.070 it. Say. It's a bit relationship with the old Bhu. Okay, 247 00:16:22.149 --> 00:16:26.149 so that's right. And I used to drive by it to work every single 248 00:16:26.230 --> 00:16:30.309 day. It was in a wonderful position, directly across from a hundred year 249 00:16:30.309 --> 00:16:34.700 old cemetery, which I found kind of ironic, and I used always drive 250 00:16:34.779 --> 00:16:37.899 by thinking, oh, there's no way in hell I'd ever be in that 251 00:16:38.059 --> 00:16:42.419 play. That's for crazy people. Yeah, all yell. I had an 252 00:16:42.460 --> 00:16:45.659 exployfriend in there and he told me it was so bad he didn't want me 253 00:16:45.700 --> 00:16:49.610 to go visit him because people were shitting on themselves and doing all kinds of 254 00:16:49.649 --> 00:16:52.929 stuff, and so I got off the hook with that. But little did 255 00:16:52.970 --> 00:16:57.370 I know I was going to admit myself voluntarily with baby and a toddler by. 256 00:16:59.529 --> 00:17:03.000 This is all like, this isn't your hometown there in the downtown area 257 00:17:03.679 --> 00:17:06.839 Cruz. I love, I love down Santa Cruz all, I love Santa 258 00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:11.359 Cruz in general. You live in a nice love it's a beautiful place and 259 00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:14.920 yeah, this place we just live. It was like, yeah, it's 260 00:17:14.920 --> 00:17:19.150 technically Funda crews and I so we went there was the kids and I just 261 00:17:19.309 --> 00:17:26.710 walked in and a test and the the head psychiatrist guy talked to Craig to 262 00:17:26.869 --> 00:17:29.549 gain idea of what I had been doing, because I wasn't going to tell 263 00:17:29.789 --> 00:17:33.619 them everything, and he sat down with me and just look me in the 264 00:17:33.740 --> 00:17:37.900 face and luckily he wasn't one of those arrogant asshole type. Yeah, very 265 00:17:37.940 --> 00:17:41.180 human, and he just said, you know, you have by polar one 266 00:17:41.339 --> 00:17:44.849 and this is the post part of time. Who Straight to one. Huh, 267 00:17:45.730 --> 00:17:48.609 he really did give it to me straight that I was manic. was 268 00:17:48.849 --> 00:17:52.490 like yeah, yeah, well, yeah, that's true. I so I 269 00:17:52.569 --> 00:17:57.210 didn't freak out, but then I went they have just one pay phone for 270 00:17:57.329 --> 00:18:02.960 the entire place, like for the patient, and I soon as I stopped 271 00:18:03.000 --> 00:18:04.240 talking to him, I went out both to the pay phone and luckily it 272 00:18:04.319 --> 00:18:08.480 was empty and I called my dad, and this is before cell phones were 273 00:18:08.519 --> 00:18:14.029 so ubiquitous, and he actually picked up the phone himself and I told him 274 00:18:14.109 --> 00:18:18.109 and he just started to cry, which he never done before and he felt 275 00:18:18.309 --> 00:18:22.150 he felt guilty. He was, he was very like, he was emotional 276 00:18:22.670 --> 00:18:26.190 that he would keep it in sight a lot, but he felt responsible, 277 00:18:26.349 --> 00:18:30.500 he felt like it was his fault. Yeah, and I did. I 278 00:18:30.539 --> 00:18:33.059 kept reassuring him. It was like one of those things where I became the 279 00:18:33.140 --> 00:18:36.500 parents. He was kind of like the child and I'm like, don't want 280 00:18:36.500 --> 00:18:40.019 to dad, you know, everything's fine, right, I'll makes sense. 281 00:18:40.299 --> 00:18:45.009 And and he knew I was in for it, you know, so he 282 00:18:45.089 --> 00:18:49.769 couldn't feel comfy. Do worry about it. So, yeah, that's that's 283 00:18:49.849 --> 00:18:52.089 tough. Is Dead. I know what I was in for. Yeah, 284 00:18:53.250 --> 00:18:56.960 and now its yeah, no, you're and you're a parent to now and 285 00:18:57.240 --> 00:19:00.759 I have I have three boys, so I'm always like any time any of 286 00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:07.440 them feel sad or isolated and like what can I do? How can I 287 00:19:07.559 --> 00:19:10.789 help? But I'm like, I'm kind of on the outs from their social 288 00:19:10.869 --> 00:19:12.829 circles, so I don't have a lot of opportunities, so I just do 289 00:19:12.990 --> 00:19:18.029 my best through texting or whatever. But yeah, just you. It's I 290 00:19:18.069 --> 00:19:22.069 don't know, it's hard because you don't want them to get sick or get 291 00:19:22.069 --> 00:19:25.819 it illness or disorder that that we have and then have to suffer alone when 292 00:19:25.940 --> 00:19:30.019 like hey, we're right here, we can help. But right, well, 293 00:19:30.140 --> 00:19:33.059 my daughter's of puture, like are we going to get it? The 294 00:19:33.299 --> 00:19:34.779 protectitudes like Oh, don't worry, if you get it, you know we 295 00:19:34.819 --> 00:19:37.609 will be able to care of you and you know, but that you know 296 00:19:37.690 --> 00:19:41.650 what, if to get it, I will feel like Shit. I won't 297 00:19:41.650 --> 00:19:45.329 feel terrible and I'm praying that they don't. Can't we just start framing it 298 00:19:45.369 --> 00:19:49.609 as a super power that we haven't yet harnessed properly? Is Like Hey, 299 00:19:49.650 --> 00:19:53.039 wait, we're evolving. I had to do the next evolution of the gene. 300 00:19:53.400 --> 00:19:56.400 You should be happy about this. We just have to learn, like 301 00:19:56.599 --> 00:20:02.799 the Hulk, you know, to to maintain the power within and not let 302 00:20:02.839 --> 00:20:06.119 it erupt. And heard others. Man, I had all kinds of ways 303 00:20:06.119 --> 00:20:10.829 when my kids were grown up. Like I kind of explained my bipolar episodes 304 00:20:10.990 --> 00:20:14.630 is like a sneeze where you know, gives sense is that it was coming. 305 00:20:14.710 --> 00:20:18.549 You couldn't really stop it while it was happening, and then after, 306 00:20:18.789 --> 00:20:21.700 after it was over, you knew if you sneeze, done anybody, or 307 00:20:21.700 --> 00:20:25.140 you certainly knew who was around when you sneezed. So then you simply say 308 00:20:25.140 --> 00:20:29.140 excuse me, but nobody ever said bless you to me when I had a 309 00:20:29.180 --> 00:20:33.779 bipolar episode. That's funny. The cool I like that. I like an 310 00:20:33.779 --> 00:20:37.849 analogy. Yeah, it's a good one for young kids. Yeah, yeah, 311 00:20:37.890 --> 00:20:41.970 I know. No, no, no, it's perfect for young kids. 312 00:20:42.009 --> 00:20:45.809 I don't know, I mean my kids ten and twelve. I mean 313 00:20:45.849 --> 00:20:51.279 I think they would actually relate to that more than the intellectual explanation. Yeah, 314 00:20:51.400 --> 00:20:53.920 and the whole the whole idea that we have a disease is so freaky 315 00:20:55.039 --> 00:20:57.079 because, man, we're no different than we were the day before. The 316 00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:02.559 doctor told us that. We're the same people and we still feel and experiment 317 00:21:02.640 --> 00:21:04.630 with a different medicines and therapies and all that. But, you know, 318 00:21:04.789 --> 00:21:10.190 self exploration, I think, is important and we were forced into it. 319 00:21:10.910 --> 00:21:11.869 So I think that's kind of good. There's a lot of people that live, 320 00:21:12.029 --> 00:21:15.710 you know, relatively stable, normal lives that never have any self exploration. 321 00:21:15.910 --> 00:21:18.900 They don't dig deep into what really moves them, so they might not 322 00:21:19.059 --> 00:21:23.059 ever achieve the same levels of happiness that we can. So I mean there 323 00:21:23.059 --> 00:21:27.180 I think there are some benefits that can be looked at, especially for kids. 324 00:21:27.220 --> 00:21:32.539 Say, kids always have so much heart that good, because think to 325 00:21:32.619 --> 00:21:34.849 me, and you know, there are so many creative people, famous people 326 00:21:34.849 --> 00:21:38.410 who have it who I admire. So I like I'm actually being the same 327 00:21:38.529 --> 00:21:42.690 club as Prince with layout right. Yeah, and I always wondered, like 328 00:21:42.809 --> 00:21:48.079 what, are they even famous because of their bipolar or, you know, 329 00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:51.799 despite it? Either way, I mean maybe it maybe just a label. 330 00:21:51.960 --> 00:21:53.680 I was, you know, I start spinning off and doing this kind of 331 00:21:53.759 --> 00:21:57.640 fantastical thinking. We're like, HMM, remember the Truman show, for example, 332 00:21:57.920 --> 00:22:02.309 that movie with Jim Carrey. Yeah, so what if we do live 333 00:22:02.430 --> 00:22:04.589 in a giant simulation? This is just fun, folks, it's just talk. 334 00:22:04.670 --> 00:22:08.069 I'm not like serious. If this triggers you, stop, stop the 335 00:22:08.109 --> 00:22:14.390 PODCAST, go to a different one. So so say we're we're in a 336 00:22:14.509 --> 00:22:19.140 big simulation here. And Fuck, I gave that disclaimer and I totally lost 337 00:22:19.180 --> 00:22:22.500 my train of thought. God Damn it. That's okay, that's okay, 338 00:22:23.140 --> 00:22:29.099 be gentle with myself. That movie was really, say, and long time 339 00:22:29.099 --> 00:22:33.490 ago. Before you know, it was one of those burviers, you know. 340 00:22:33.410 --> 00:22:36.930 Yeah, and it well kind of also speaks to the whole idea of 341 00:22:37.049 --> 00:22:40.930 that were in a a matrix, in a simulation, and that we are 342 00:22:41.009 --> 00:22:44.400 here to play a role. However, we accept to choose this role because 343 00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:48.480 it's also really cool. Like in the future, when we talk machine learning 344 00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:52.960 and AI, the thing that computers, machines will always suck at is emotion, 345 00:22:53.480 --> 00:22:57.440 and those of us with a wider range and a higher tolerance for emotion, 346 00:22:57.589 --> 00:23:00.349 I think, have a lot to teach the machines of the future, 347 00:23:00.750 --> 00:23:03.750 which, again, is kind of a wacky subject to get into, but 348 00:23:04.789 --> 00:23:08.509 I think we're definitely going the way off ai and machine learning real quick. 349 00:23:10.069 --> 00:23:14.180 So how do we get our emotions into the machines before they just take off 350 00:23:14.299 --> 00:23:17.579 on their own without emotion at all? Actually, yeah, that'd be fun. 351 00:23:17.940 --> 00:23:19.900 Black Mirror episode. I love that. You Watch Black Mirror, you 352 00:23:19.940 --> 00:23:26.460 guys, every single episode. That things amazing, isn't it? The one 353 00:23:26.500 --> 00:23:30.650 thing that first first episode you're Golden. Yeah, I love well, yeah, 354 00:23:30.809 --> 00:23:33.210 tried to turn some people on and they're just not into it that much, 355 00:23:33.930 --> 00:23:38.170 but I love it. It's just the right amount of futuristic dystopia mixed 356 00:23:38.210 --> 00:23:42.799 with social commentary and decisionmaking, like well, what would you do in that 357 00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:47.839 situation? Yeah, I can talk, I serousally. Don't mind me, 358 00:23:47.839 --> 00:23:49.119 because I'll talk to the whole episode about that. I just can't wait. 359 00:23:49.400 --> 00:23:53.839 When are they coming out with a new season already? Jesus, been forevers 360 00:23:53.920 --> 00:23:57.069 so slow. Still tripping out, like. I mean it's one more thing 361 00:23:57.069 --> 00:24:00.630 about blackmor like, if you're going to see one of them, well you 362 00:24:00.670 --> 00:24:03.829 have to see all of them. That there's the one with the guys from 363 00:24:03.869 --> 00:24:07.069 happy days, Ron Howard's daughter, who is a wonderful, brilliant actress. 364 00:24:07.190 --> 00:24:11.140 Oh, Dallas, Bryce, Dallas Howard. She plays the girl. Did 365 00:24:11.220 --> 00:24:15.299 you see that one? I don't know her. What happened? What happens 366 00:24:15.339 --> 00:24:18.460 in the episode? Okay, I know, I know, I'm wasting time, 367 00:24:18.539 --> 00:24:21.539 that it's such as a really amazing episode. And she's the one who 368 00:24:21.579 --> 00:24:25.089 lives in the society where they used they all have to use their cell phones. 369 00:24:25.250 --> 00:24:27.289 Oh What Otter? Yeah, totally, that's a great episode. I 370 00:24:27.329 --> 00:24:32.450 didn't know that was Ron Howard's daughter, dog Jun how yeah, happy days 371 00:24:32.490 --> 00:24:33.809 like you. Look what happen? Yes, she looks like him a lot. 372 00:24:33.849 --> 00:24:37.490 Yeah, now that you mentioned it. So yeah, for people that 373 00:24:37.609 --> 00:24:41.440 haven't watched, there's an episode where basically, what would say ten years in 374 00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:45.640 the future, maybe seven years. It's not far in the future. Everything 375 00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:48.920 works the same cars, cars and sinks and toil. Everything's normal, except 376 00:24:49.000 --> 00:24:55.390 your phone. Now everybody you're in a proximity to will come up on your 377 00:24:55.470 --> 00:24:59.910 phone and you rate your interaction with them right there and then it's kind of 378 00:24:59.950 --> 00:25:03.269 like an uber ride, but with the dude in front of you at the 379 00:25:03.390 --> 00:25:07.180 grocery store because he's being a jackass and you brought twenty items. So you 380 00:25:07.259 --> 00:25:08.940 just give them a hard stare. You look to at your phone. You 381 00:25:10.180 --> 00:25:12.180 think you get, you know, down star him. So, yeah, 382 00:25:12.220 --> 00:25:18.460 this episode was I think it was called a downward spiral, and it's just 383 00:25:18.779 --> 00:25:22.089 this poor gal is trying to compare yourself to her fancy friends off facebook, 384 00:25:22.089 --> 00:25:25.930 kind of effectively, you know, the social media in the future, right, 385 00:25:25.970 --> 00:25:27.529 yeah, and she compares herself to someone like that. She finally gets 386 00:25:27.569 --> 00:25:33.769 invited to a wedding and on the way they're all kinds of bad stuff happens 387 00:25:33.769 --> 00:25:37.920 in a rating keeps going down and down and down. It's it's amazing. 388 00:25:37.079 --> 00:25:41.880 That's just one episode. My other favorite from that season was the little killer 389 00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:45.160 bees. That where they picked, Ye, pick somebody to kill off of 390 00:25:45.279 --> 00:25:48.799 twitter and like Oh, that that's amazing. Little drones, like Whoa that 391 00:25:48.880 --> 00:25:52.910 could happen too. I love futuristic stuff. I think that's have to see 392 00:25:52.990 --> 00:25:57.549 this, almost everyone. Yeah, now Black Mirror on Netflix. Check it 393 00:25:57.630 --> 00:26:00.549 out season one, two, and that you get. You should really get 394 00:26:00.589 --> 00:26:03.339 paid for, you know, advertising from them, but I guess they probably 395 00:26:03.380 --> 00:26:07.700 won't do that. Yeah, it's still to me it's cheap content. I 396 00:26:07.779 --> 00:26:11.579 lived in Los Angeles for about three years and now I'm so amazed that anything 397 00:26:11.619 --> 00:26:15.700 at all gets produced, just because of so many egos and so many little 398 00:26:15.700 --> 00:26:18.690 fires to put out in so many moving parts to any kind of production. 399 00:26:19.289 --> 00:26:22.970 So yeah, black Marre's a great one. So anyway. Okay, so 400 00:26:23.450 --> 00:26:29.250 now back to from our Netflix advertisement, which is totally cool with me as 401 00:26:29.329 --> 00:26:32.210 a Oh, you know it, because it's also the home. Let's do 402 00:26:32.329 --> 00:26:37.079 this. It's also the home of lady dynamite, Maria Bamfood. Oh Yeah, 403 00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:40.640 yeah, I know you're such a fan, and she did. Are 404 00:26:40.680 --> 00:26:44.759 you going to the show then? I think it passed because I have bipolar 405 00:26:44.839 --> 00:26:47.710 disorder and I can't keep track of show dates. I think it was like 406 00:26:47.869 --> 00:26:53.710 October twenty or something, and we're I don't know. But Anyway, sometime 407 00:26:53.789 --> 00:26:57.910 later this month the the next season of lady dynamite will come out, which 408 00:26:57.950 --> 00:27:02.180 is is it's great if you love comedy. She's got lots of standup comedy, 409 00:27:02.779 --> 00:27:07.900 Cameo appearances from other stand up comics and her approach to filmmaking in general 410 00:27:07.019 --> 00:27:11.579 is really unique. So anyway, so Netflix, Black Mirror and ground down. 411 00:27:11.700 --> 00:27:15.009 Yeah, yeah, if you see lady dynamite at all, that's that's 412 00:27:15.049 --> 00:27:18.410 the thing. It just because it tells, it really tells the story of 413 00:27:18.609 --> 00:27:23.890 her, because she used to be the target lady. Remember the open market? 414 00:27:25.009 --> 00:27:27.690 Remember the target as the Manic Lady, the Manic Shopper on target commercial? 415 00:27:27.970 --> 00:27:30.880 That's her. That would her. They hired her for that because she 416 00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:36.720 was manic at the time and then she crashed. So during the first season 417 00:27:36.920 --> 00:27:40.319 of lady dynamite they flash back to certain periods of her life. One periods 418 00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:44.119 called the blue period, where she's in mental hospital in Duluth and they coat 419 00:27:44.390 --> 00:27:47.150 every scene with this light blue hues. So it's like, oh, that's 420 00:27:47.150 --> 00:27:51.670 the blue period. But then they come back to regular time and she kind 421 00:27:51.710 --> 00:27:55.029 of tells the story back and forth a little bit of how they kind of 422 00:27:56.710 --> 00:28:00.500 well, what I perceived of the story is that the target took advantage of 423 00:28:00.660 --> 00:28:03.420 her while she was manic and the classic scent. She kind of lost it 424 00:28:03.539 --> 00:28:07.259 and got depressed and then they're like we still need you to work it. 425 00:28:07.299 --> 00:28:08.420 Come on, do your thing, do your thing, be your manic person. 426 00:28:08.619 --> 00:28:12.970 And didn't happen. She had the pull out. But so long, 427 00:28:14.450 --> 00:28:17.569 long and short of it, she's apparently been a stand up comic way before 428 00:28:17.650 --> 00:28:21.289 that and that was just right. One gig she got and now she helped 429 00:28:21.289 --> 00:28:25.769 leverage into a Netflix show. So pretty cool. But and she's also yeah, 430 00:28:25.930 --> 00:28:27.720 she's also does the voice of a whole bunch of cartoons that your kids 431 00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:32.519 probably watch. Yeah, you know, I've read about her. I needed 432 00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:34.240 to give lady done, my not a chance because I we watched the first 433 00:28:34.319 --> 00:28:38.079 episode and you know, sometimes things don't catch you, but I just feel 434 00:28:38.119 --> 00:28:42.029 like I would get hooked if I just got into against I do. She's 435 00:28:42.069 --> 00:28:45.750 really responsive on twitter, like I noticed he liked. She liked stuff that 436 00:28:45.829 --> 00:28:49.269 you tweeted and one time she liked something that I tweeted and I did get 437 00:28:49.269 --> 00:28:52.589 very excited about that. Okay, here's my starting to have a theory, 438 00:28:52.630 --> 00:28:57.259 though, because I also got that same kind of interaction from Theo Vaughan, 439 00:28:57.539 --> 00:29:02.460 another stand up from Louisiana. He's really funny, he's young guy and stuff. 440 00:29:03.059 --> 00:29:06.660 Then then I'm cynical and I'm like, Oh, these motherfuckers just have 441 00:29:06.859 --> 00:29:11.329 the same really good social media management team or something like that. You know, 442 00:29:11.849 --> 00:29:15.369 I don't know it's as possible to check their own stuff, but that's 443 00:29:15.450 --> 00:29:18.890 baby in Schenical. I hope she so. They Y. I definitely want 444 00:29:18.930 --> 00:29:22.769 to give that another try. Yeah, but you're right, though. Sometimes 445 00:29:22.809 --> 00:29:25.079 you turn on the show and it's like, I don't get it. What's 446 00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:27.359 this? What's all the help of about the ozarks? Yeah, I mean 447 00:29:27.480 --> 00:29:30.839 I don't get that. There's something called the OS arcs are on right now 448 00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:33.720 with Jason Bateman, and I gave it. I always give everything like I 449 00:29:33.799 --> 00:29:37.200 give it like three episodes, like that should be plenty. If I'm not 450 00:29:37.279 --> 00:29:41.029 into it by now, like this is just like a knockoff of Breaking Back 451 00:29:41.150 --> 00:29:47.269 Dad. That's not not as good. Yeah, anyway, he failed. 452 00:29:47.470 --> 00:29:48.710 I know that's one thing. Like I just do love. I have to 453 00:29:48.710 --> 00:29:52.940 admit, I love just showing in the evening. Watch too much goes, 454 00:29:52.099 --> 00:29:56.500 but when I'm depressed like you, watching the best shows, like don't even 455 00:29:56.779 --> 00:30:00.500 feel see. You know, I think you forget there's a whole universal there 456 00:30:00.579 --> 00:30:03.980 you can just show. There's also that kind of thing like whenever you first 457 00:30:03.019 --> 00:30:07.809 see something, whatever space your head is at is kind of you'll lock that 458 00:30:07.930 --> 00:30:11.210 in. Like I first saw star wars and whatever one thousand nine hundred and 459 00:30:11.250 --> 00:30:15.609 seventy six or seventy eight or whatever, when I was that specific age. 460 00:30:15.690 --> 00:30:17.730 So it had a lock in my brain like, Oh my God, this 461 00:30:17.769 --> 00:30:21.170 is the best movie and will always be the best movie ever. So I 462 00:30:21.369 --> 00:30:23.880 it's stuck in that Rut in my brain. So I first saw the lady 463 00:30:23.880 --> 00:30:29.200 dynamite when I was super depressed and I didn't think anything was funny. Nothing. 464 00:30:29.400 --> 00:30:32.400 That game shows that sad movies are happy. And then I saw this 465 00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:36.190 whacky if just edited the right way, and it spoke to mental illness in 466 00:30:36.309 --> 00:30:40.710 such an uplifting, kind of upbeat way, I'm like, oh, that's 467 00:30:41.269 --> 00:30:45.710 everything's gonna be okay, I get it. So let's get let's get back 468 00:30:45.710 --> 00:30:48.430 to your book. How did your book come into existence? So this is 469 00:30:48.549 --> 00:30:52.619 my manic segue everyone. It's funny. Thank you. Those very food for 470 00:30:52.859 --> 00:30:56.579 a lot of people say I want to write a book and it's a night. 471 00:30:56.660 --> 00:30:57.779 It is a fun thing to be able to say, and it's even 472 00:30:57.859 --> 00:31:00.500 more fun to take, Oh yeah, I'm writing a book, but then 473 00:31:00.660 --> 00:31:04.210 right when it takes you ten years to do it. It's kind of like 474 00:31:04.369 --> 00:31:07.410 you can send people and you're like when, yeah, right, you're not 475 00:31:07.490 --> 00:31:12.849 going to really get it on or you're full of it. Yeah, ten 476 00:31:12.930 --> 00:31:17.529 years. And because I go in and out of depressions, right, of 477 00:31:17.650 --> 00:31:21.680 course, mostly in yeah, mostly in depression. So when I finally got 478 00:31:21.720 --> 00:31:25.839 stable in two thousand and thirteen, finally, you know, finding the right 479 00:31:25.960 --> 00:31:30.920 medications that worked for me, which took forever, that's when I really was 480 00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:33.509 able to start working on it. And so, yeah, the book, 481 00:31:33.509 --> 00:31:37.230 I just it's weird. I it was incredibly stressful, I'm not going to 482 00:31:37.349 --> 00:31:44.029 lie, and I just had weird compulsion to do it kept me up a 483 00:31:44.069 --> 00:31:47.539 lot of night, which we know is not good. It keeps you up 484 00:31:47.619 --> 00:31:49.380 or you are already up, or are you? Maybe you were just up 485 00:31:49.420 --> 00:31:52.779 and needed something to do. I mean, I didn't write, I just 486 00:31:52.900 --> 00:31:56.299 was seen. They're just stressing out about it. And Yeah, about about 487 00:31:56.299 --> 00:32:01.970 the book specifically. Yeah, well, yeah, and but I just I 488 00:32:02.009 --> 00:32:05.529 don't know. I just was like I have to share this because I felt 489 00:32:05.569 --> 00:32:08.930 like I had I did have one advantage because I had something different to write 490 00:32:08.930 --> 00:32:14.490 about. That never had no it's ever written about this topic before. Right. 491 00:32:14.609 --> 00:32:17.200 I researched it and I felt like that was my strength. If to 492 00:32:17.279 --> 00:32:22.319 be honest with you, if I didn't have that particular diagnosis, I probably 493 00:32:22.319 --> 00:32:27.079 wouldn't have done it, because I feel like there's already enough books out there 494 00:32:27.079 --> 00:32:30.950 about, you know, bipolar memoirs and stuff. Yeah, there are quite 495 00:32:30.950 --> 00:32:35.430 a few. There are in there. There's some brilliant writers out there, 496 00:32:35.509 --> 00:32:37.990 and I clearly see myself as just kind of the middle of the pack. 497 00:32:38.109 --> 00:32:43.470 I not terrible, but I'm not you know, whoever. Whoever's your favorite 498 00:32:43.470 --> 00:32:45.779 writer, you know, and and I know that. So I was like, 499 00:32:45.259 --> 00:32:51.099 well, you know, I have this going for me to get a 500 00:32:51.140 --> 00:32:53.299 message out, because I did also want to let people know about this dis 501 00:32:53.339 --> 00:32:58.299 our diagnosis. I wanted other people who had it just finding my book and 502 00:32:58.339 --> 00:33:01.170 hopefully get some kind of comfort. That's that is key, right, because 503 00:33:01.529 --> 00:33:07.890 people with bipolar are empathic and they like to Provide Comfort to others that find 504 00:33:08.009 --> 00:33:12.369 out or like our our newcomers to the to the ailment, let's say, 505 00:33:12.920 --> 00:33:16.000 because I see all like the big facebook groups, they get hundreds and thousands 506 00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:20.839 of new people each day. So that means thousands of people each day are 507 00:33:20.920 --> 00:33:25.880 just finding out that they have bipolar disorders. So I think your compassion as 508 00:33:25.920 --> 00:33:30.029 well placed in writing a book, especially for something as rare, or not, 509 00:33:30.349 --> 00:33:34.309 let's not say rare. Pretty sure it's probably pretty widespread, but something 510 00:33:34.470 --> 00:33:38.670 is unheard of until now called postpartum bipolar depression. Or is it post polar? 511 00:33:38.910 --> 00:33:43.220 I'm sorry, postpartum bipolar disorder, or does it really matter what it's 512 00:33:43.259 --> 00:33:49.019 called? Is always actually postpartum part by polar, since it has both the 513 00:33:49.500 --> 00:33:52.660 media and the depression, such as postconm by polar. That's there's another technical 514 00:33:52.779 --> 00:33:55.569 terms. You want me to share it with the listeners? Yeah, of 515 00:33:55.650 --> 00:34:00.089 course, and remind them first. This book is called birth of a new 516 00:34:00.329 --> 00:34:02.609 brain. Search for it on Amazon and you could also go to the facebook 517 00:34:02.609 --> 00:34:06.690 group called birth of a new brain. Just simply type it. Easy to 518 00:34:06.769 --> 00:34:09.440 find on Amazon and Facebook, bird of a new brain. Okay, sorry, 519 00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:14.639 go ahead. I love. I love promoting stuff because people are there, 520 00:34:14.679 --> 00:34:16.280 like it's, staring at the screen or listening to their ipods or whatever. 521 00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:19.320 Like. Go do something to get on the screen and look up this 522 00:34:19.360 --> 00:34:22.119 book. Like download, go, go, buy it right now. Well, 523 00:34:22.719 --> 00:34:25.190 yeah, but now by the book, by the book. What am 524 00:34:25.190 --> 00:34:29.309 I say? So in the gas M five, which is, you know, 525 00:34:29.389 --> 00:34:34.269 has the ridiculous name of diagnostic and Fisticle manual of mental disorders. Yeah, 526 00:34:34.429 --> 00:34:40.900 like the Bible of crazy. The Bible of crazy called bipolar pre apart 527 00:34:40.940 --> 00:34:45.420 of the on set, which is really difficult to say, but it means 528 00:34:45.739 --> 00:34:47.659 pair, apartment. Just means that it can happen during pregnancy. You can 529 00:34:47.659 --> 00:34:52.500 actually get what I'm what I have during your pregnancy now, or up to 530 00:34:52.659 --> 00:34:58.130 four weeks after childbirth, which is not accurate because it can be later than 531 00:34:58.210 --> 00:35:02.050 for weeks. It's sure technical. So we so there's actually some really awesome 532 00:35:02.170 --> 00:35:07.599 carnadal psykidhus who are arguing that right now, arguing the ideas from five people, 533 00:35:07.719 --> 00:35:10.440 saying you need to change, change that specifier because it's not accurate. 534 00:35:10.599 --> 00:35:14.360 So just because it's the Bible, means, you know, doesn't mean it's 535 00:35:14.920 --> 00:35:19.960 the truth. Don't you like that, or that it's accurate, right, 536 00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:22.630 or the no dig on God or anything. But I mean it, they 537 00:35:22.710 --> 00:35:28.070 are humans that write the DSM. So now I get it. Struck down 538 00:35:28.150 --> 00:35:30.469 by lighting. No, no, but just get back to the what do 539 00:35:30.550 --> 00:35:34.429 they think is a better time frame? Or is there a time frame? 540 00:35:34.630 --> 00:35:36.659 Is there a fair time frame? I mean it's kind of like, is 541 00:35:36.739 --> 00:35:38.780 there is it? Is it fair to put a statue of limitations on rape 542 00:35:38.780 --> 00:35:42.699 or something like that? Is it fair to put a statue of limitations on 543 00:35:42.780 --> 00:35:46.699 this time frame where you can get post pardon bipolar? I seriously like some 544 00:35:46.780 --> 00:35:50.969 of this questions I've been asked. And the person who I admire the most, 545 00:35:51.050 --> 00:35:54.409 this guy up in Canada, pernial psychiatrist, doctor for Winder Sharma, 546 00:35:54.610 --> 00:36:00.210 believes it should be up to six months after birth instead for a week six 547 00:36:00.289 --> 00:36:02.090 months. But, like you said, I mean who you know he although 548 00:36:02.130 --> 00:36:06.440 I totally believe in his research, it could be even you know, it 549 00:36:06.480 --> 00:36:08.639 could be six months in the day right. I mean used to say it. 550 00:36:08.960 --> 00:36:12.920 I'm thinking like you could be on your kids sixteen birthday when they're drive 551 00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:15.800 their car or I mean because you always have that really innate bond with your 552 00:36:15.800 --> 00:36:19.550 child, no matter where they are on the planet, no matter what they're 553 00:36:19.550 --> 00:36:23.949 doing, and if there's there's some kind of change, an abrupt change in 554 00:36:24.230 --> 00:36:29.389 your relationship to that that person, whether it came out of your womb or 555 00:36:29.429 --> 00:36:31.829 it's going to kindergarten. Now I'm just I agree it would be hard to 556 00:36:31.860 --> 00:36:36.219 put a time frame, but that's only as a person that suffers from bipolar 557 00:36:36.380 --> 00:36:38.860 currently on the man side of things. But yeah, that's interesting. So 558 00:36:38.940 --> 00:36:43.659 I wonder what the rationale for six months is. You think like it's a 559 00:36:43.820 --> 00:36:46.099 Oh, because your chemicals balance out, which kind of lends itself to the 560 00:36:46.170 --> 00:36:51.849 quote unquote, chemical and balance theory, which right, which drives me crazy. 561 00:36:51.849 --> 00:36:53.889 Y, I'm starting to hear different things about that chemical and owns theories. 562 00:36:54.889 --> 00:36:58.929 That's what he seriously great podcast topics for you to talk to this guy. 563 00:36:58.969 --> 00:37:01.239 I've been reading his book. Got It. It's a little bit of 564 00:37:01.280 --> 00:37:05.840 a depression what we're yeah, yeah, I know, that's okay. I 565 00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:09.559 get seed on terms sometimes and I like to just see. Yeah, no, 566 00:37:09.719 --> 00:37:13.119 I know, I'd like to dig in, like any of it. 567 00:37:13.320 --> 00:37:15.639 Well, I thank yeah, if we go, yeah, if they're gonna 568 00:37:15.679 --> 00:37:19.230 label us, let's let's clarify the labels and let's dig deep into what each 569 00:37:19.269 --> 00:37:23.429 of these things mean. But so, yeah, how then, now that 570 00:37:23.510 --> 00:37:27.670 you got the book out, because I'm curious, like the life of author. 571 00:37:27.949 --> 00:37:30.019 It took you ten years to write it. How did you pitch it 572 00:37:30.260 --> 00:37:37.699 to a publisher? How did it go from your mind into tangible product? 573 00:37:38.579 --> 00:37:45.769 I did write a couple proposals. I actually got one proposal accepted through the 574 00:37:45.809 --> 00:37:50.570 different publisher that my current publisher, and that that entire proposal was based on 575 00:37:50.769 --> 00:37:54.130 how to live a life free of meditation. Is Bipolar Disorder? It and 576 00:37:54.170 --> 00:37:58.840 it's interesting enough. I wrote that when I was me on it. YEA 577 00:37:59.079 --> 00:38:01.159 TO SING is, yeah, I guess. But the proposal got accepted and 578 00:38:01.199 --> 00:38:06.519 I actually found someone who's going to endorse it, who it's staymous and respect 579 00:38:06.599 --> 00:38:09.719 it, as psychiatrist, I'm sorry, a neurosurgeon. Cool. And so 580 00:38:09.920 --> 00:38:14.670 the publisher, I know she she was able, she had by pole and 581 00:38:14.750 --> 00:38:17.389 she was able to be Med free and stable. So she backed me up. 582 00:38:17.829 --> 00:38:21.869 I wrote the forty five page with proposal based on, you know, 583 00:38:21.909 --> 00:38:23.949 I just studied books on how to do that, and it's accepted. But 584 00:38:24.389 --> 00:38:30.139 then guess what? I really have not one of those people who can live 585 00:38:30.380 --> 00:38:34.099 Med free in these stables. So the first proposal went down the toilet. 586 00:38:34.539 --> 00:38:37.980 Then, excuse. Years later I came up with a whole new concept for 587 00:38:38.059 --> 00:38:43.369 prise, surprise work. I wanted to talk about this disorder and also about 588 00:38:43.449 --> 00:38:47.690 what helped me get better, which included medication. Right. So I wrote 589 00:38:47.690 --> 00:38:53.449 another proposal. I sent it to Berkeley Base culisure. got rejected. You 590 00:38:53.489 --> 00:38:58.519 know how I feel about Brad. And then I had a friend. She's 591 00:38:58.519 --> 00:39:02.239 a successful author. Her name is Wendy K Williamson, and she told me 592 00:39:02.360 --> 00:39:05.960 like, don't give up. She's written, I don't know if you've heard 593 00:39:05.960 --> 00:39:08.280 these books she wrote. I'm not crazy, just bi polar, and she 594 00:39:08.360 --> 00:39:12.989 wrote two bipolar chicks, guy to survival. For either of those. I've 595 00:39:12.989 --> 00:39:15.670 heard of. To bipolar chicks. I think they have a podcast and it 596 00:39:15.710 --> 00:39:20.110 might be too new. Bipolar chicks. But I'm really bad with names. 597 00:39:20.150 --> 00:39:22.469 I'm yeah, was super visual person. If I see someone's name written, 598 00:39:22.510 --> 00:39:25.860 I recognized the shape of it more than the sound of it and I'd like 599 00:39:27.300 --> 00:39:30.059 recognize their faces more. But so I trust you. I believe you. 600 00:39:32.619 --> 00:39:35.820 She said good, don't give up. You know just might you go ahead. 601 00:39:35.820 --> 00:39:40.889 And and I did and they accepted it. And and that's why I 602 00:39:40.969 --> 00:39:45.369 needed because I actually had my book yet, but I knew I needed a 603 00:39:45.489 --> 00:39:49.329 deadline to light fire, you know, the fire underneath me. So I 604 00:39:49.530 --> 00:39:53.280 did. I had an extension because I didn't get it done within the year 605 00:39:53.360 --> 00:39:58.360 that I had hope I get it done. So I flipped out about having 606 00:39:58.360 --> 00:40:00.800 to ask them that because I need it. Could have said no, but 607 00:40:00.039 --> 00:40:04.400 luckily they said yes. Isn't that hard? So, because that's like when 608 00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:08.909 you're where you're experiencing an up or down in the bipolar cycle. Sometimes it 609 00:40:09.030 --> 00:40:13.070 just feels like you don't even know how to approach people, like I feel, 610 00:40:13.070 --> 00:40:15.909 and then you start like hating on yourself because I'm not even sure how 611 00:40:15.949 --> 00:40:19.110 to approach. Should I even am I worthy? Should I just take it 612 00:40:19.190 --> 00:40:22.780 as it comes? It's it's easier if I stay in bed. So good 613 00:40:22.820 --> 00:40:25.980 for you for slect sticking up and asserting yourself. Well, if you do 614 00:40:27.099 --> 00:40:28.900 to do. I did it the eat way to you know, the cheating 615 00:40:28.980 --> 00:40:31.539 mace, through email. If I had to have face to face interaction, 616 00:40:31.739 --> 00:40:36.730 it would have been very different, right. Yeah, that's hard. That's 617 00:40:36.809 --> 00:40:40.409 hard for me even tell. Yeah, and yeah, to telephone too. 618 00:40:40.690 --> 00:40:44.570 That's hard today and a lot of kids are offendaged if you call them. 619 00:40:44.650 --> 00:40:47.289 They're like no, we don't do telephone, text me or snapchat, mean 620 00:40:47.329 --> 00:40:51.880 or something. Don't what are you calling me for? Yeah, it's the 621 00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:55.840 society's weird and it kind of entrenches the thinking that I have already, like 622 00:40:55.960 --> 00:41:00.639 I really want to go out, but in order to make really cool things 623 00:41:00.679 --> 00:41:02.599 happen you have to assert yourself. So I'm glad you got that. So 624 00:41:02.760 --> 00:41:07.630 you you got an approval. How did that go to? So this is 625 00:41:07.670 --> 00:41:10.909 all digital, like you're writing. Do you have any notes in a journal, 626 00:41:12.030 --> 00:41:15.230 like a Leather Journal, or is this all like in your board process 627 00:41:15.269 --> 00:41:19.860 around your computer? I just did it on words. There's like a fancy 628 00:41:20.380 --> 00:41:23.019 scrivener and just than that. But I just did want a word thing and 629 00:41:23.059 --> 00:41:27.460 I did have a stack of journals, but I found myself I rarely went 630 00:41:27.579 --> 00:41:30.219 to them for anything. I just and this is amazing because I have had 631 00:41:30.260 --> 00:41:35.849 a ton of elect you're provoltive. Herapy gone and it was maybe I'm able 632 00:41:35.849 --> 00:41:38.170 to Chappene memories that I thought I wouldn't be able to tappen too. So 633 00:41:38.769 --> 00:41:43.090 once I started doing it, I just was able to do it, but 634 00:41:43.170 --> 00:41:45.769 it was not fun. It was not fun. Yeah, I could amass 635 00:41:49.119 --> 00:41:52.280 that. I think that's story. Now go ahead. I think that just 636 00:41:52.360 --> 00:41:57.280 that's why a lot of books don't ever get written. It's or a lot 637 00:41:57.320 --> 00:42:00.440 of screenplays don't get finished. It's the same type of thing. It's like 638 00:42:00.519 --> 00:42:01.630 it's a great it is a great thing to talk about. So to hear 639 00:42:01.710 --> 00:42:07.150 somebody make it through and get a book published on paper, put into stores, 640 00:42:07.230 --> 00:42:09.389 you know, put into other people's hands so they can read it forever. 641 00:42:09.670 --> 00:42:15.309 Like once the third coming of whatever comes and there's no more digital anything 642 00:42:15.349 --> 00:42:17.579 because the world's wiped out all that stuff, books will still be here. 643 00:42:17.619 --> 00:42:22.579 So you have something very tangible out in the world. I think that's super 644 00:42:22.579 --> 00:42:27.260 impressive. So give yourself a pat on the back. Yeah, right, 645 00:42:28.059 --> 00:42:30.650 is a lot of that content. I don't I can't believe it actually be 646 00:42:30.809 --> 00:42:32.889 onto you. I sell much. How did I really truly do that? 647 00:42:34.050 --> 00:42:36.969 It was it was up there with childbirth, says, like the hardest thing 648 00:42:36.969 --> 00:42:40.690 I've ever done. Childbirth without medication. Yeah, yeah, and the childbirth. 649 00:42:40.809 --> 00:42:45.679 You know, once once you're committed to the one, the pregnancy, 650 00:42:45.960 --> 00:42:49.440 you childbirth is inevitable. Right, there is a deadline and you don't really 651 00:42:49.440 --> 00:42:51.920 have any control over it. But write in a book. It takes a 652 00:42:51.920 --> 00:42:55.000 lot of that internal motivation, which is really hard to come by sometimes, 653 00:42:55.039 --> 00:42:59.309 especially with your when you're depressed like a lot of people that might listen to 654 00:42:59.389 --> 00:43:02.949 this podcast by have depression, might be actively depressed right now wondering how the 655 00:43:04.070 --> 00:43:07.230 Hell do you get anything done? I could barely find figure out how to 656 00:43:07.269 --> 00:43:10.349 play this podcast. I'm late here in the darkened bed right because I think 657 00:43:10.389 --> 00:43:14.340 we that's what I want is yeah, yeah, I mean I it took 658 00:43:14.420 --> 00:43:16.300 me a long time to do this. Mean ten years is the longest time 659 00:43:16.420 --> 00:43:20.739 and most of that time I didn't do it. So I kind of just 660 00:43:20.860 --> 00:43:23.099 I hustle at the end, you know, as well as last three years 661 00:43:23.139 --> 00:43:27.449 of it, and also would also many huge difference for me was that I 662 00:43:27.489 --> 00:43:30.050 couldn't really make progress until I was able to get my kids to school like 663 00:43:30.170 --> 00:43:34.090 they were probably okay, I would do it in the day. You know, 664 00:43:34.170 --> 00:43:37.329 there's people out there men and when and to write when their kids are 665 00:43:37.369 --> 00:43:39.650 home and screaming, but I just can't do that. I have to have 666 00:43:39.769 --> 00:43:44.440 it be quiet or also the plus cause. So yeah, I made a 667 00:43:44.440 --> 00:43:46.280 big difference. Plus, when kids are around. Honestly, I kind of 668 00:43:46.360 --> 00:43:50.760 like playing with the kids, like whatever they're doing is way more fun than 669 00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:53.639 when I was trying to do if they're out there back hitting rocks with sticks, 670 00:43:53.679 --> 00:43:57.869 I'm like, AH, yeah, let's get bigger sticks and more rocks. 671 00:43:57.909 --> 00:44:01.030 Or if great playing video games or something, I'm like, Oh, 672 00:44:01.150 --> 00:44:05.230 teach me how to play this one. I'll kick your butts. So it 673 00:44:05.349 --> 00:44:07.630 was always hard when, yeah, to get anything done. I had a 674 00:44:07.070 --> 00:44:10.099 design business actually when I was home, but it was cool to see your 675 00:44:10.139 --> 00:44:13.659 kids grow from zero. You know, I'm swinging him in the little wind 676 00:44:13.659 --> 00:44:16.139 up swing chair while I'm on the computer design in a logo or something like 677 00:44:16.340 --> 00:44:20.500 this is fun. I had a band back. Yeah, yeah, it's 678 00:44:20.539 --> 00:44:22.579 cool to be around kids in general, but it is hard to get anything 679 00:44:22.619 --> 00:44:27.809 done, that's for sure. So so good idea here. Stage was fun. 680 00:44:28.250 --> 00:44:30.369 Yeah, and doing that you just put them in their boom by so, 681 00:44:30.730 --> 00:44:36.929 yeah, the g force force just pulls all the life out of them. 682 00:44:37.409 --> 00:44:42.159 The gravitational map. That's funny. So that's great. So then birth 683 00:44:42.360 --> 00:44:44.280 of a new brain. How did you come up with the title? I 684 00:44:44.360 --> 00:44:47.000 mean it's a very appropriate title, obviously, but how did kind to think 685 00:44:47.039 --> 00:44:51.639 of it? Yeah, you know, I've been I have enough question a 686 00:44:51.679 --> 00:44:54.510 couple of times and it's interesting now because there's a there's so much Tony Studies 687 00:44:54.550 --> 00:44:58.949 now being done about the brain. Yep, it's kind of like a trendy 688 00:44:59.030 --> 00:45:01.349 thing and but I just I seriously, and other sounds super cheesy that it 689 00:45:01.510 --> 00:45:06.190 just came to me. It's probably like in a shower, not on the 690 00:45:06.230 --> 00:45:12.059 toilet. And Yep, and my and it's just cute. I'm sorry, 691 00:45:12.099 --> 00:45:15.380 I'm seriously only on shy right now and tieing with him. I'm not. 692 00:45:15.619 --> 00:45:19.300 No, no, everything you're saying makes total sense. I there's something about 693 00:45:19.380 --> 00:45:23.210 the bathroom itself proper with sometimes you got the sailing vent fan as white noise. 694 00:45:23.690 --> 00:45:28.090 You know, it's kind of perceived as a very private place. So 695 00:45:28.170 --> 00:45:30.369 then you start you just think your mind wanders, especially in the shower, 696 00:45:30.449 --> 00:45:34.650 because I hear like music in the running water. Are Very distracted. But 697 00:45:34.969 --> 00:45:37.519 and you go through your routine. You probably wash your body the same way 698 00:45:37.559 --> 00:45:39.239 every time for the past ten years or twenty whatever, you know, so 699 00:45:39.679 --> 00:45:44.400 you're kind of on autopilot. But then use your mind starts going, Oh 700 00:45:44.440 --> 00:45:45.440 yeah, we could do this and Oh that, we could do that. 701 00:45:45.679 --> 00:45:49.840 I'm always thinking of those ideas. And that's that's the place. So birth 702 00:45:49.920 --> 00:45:52.909 would here that. Yeah, and I'm sure lots of people do. Right. 703 00:45:53.469 --> 00:45:55.949 What do you think? I'm sure lots of people do. Like most 704 00:45:55.989 --> 00:46:00.550 of the things I tweet out in the morning are me in the bathroom reading 705 00:46:00.630 --> 00:46:02.309 my flipboard on my IPAD. I'm like, Oh, yeah, that's interesting 706 00:46:02.510 --> 00:46:05.420 and a lot of times I'm like I don't care if anybody reads it. 707 00:46:05.460 --> 00:46:07.219 I'm like, Oh, I need to save this and read it later. 708 00:46:07.539 --> 00:46:10.059 So I pre pretended my own brain. I'm going to get back to my 709 00:46:10.139 --> 00:46:14.420 twitter feed and read the articles I've saved for myself. But I never do. 710 00:46:15.019 --> 00:46:16.179 But I'm like, well, all the other people should read these two 711 00:46:16.179 --> 00:46:20.090 because these are neat. But it's all done from the bathroom. I mean 712 00:46:20.170 --> 00:46:22.929 literally. I'm like this is part, this is my office, base of 713 00:46:22.010 --> 00:46:25.730 creativity. Yeah, it's pretty power place. And my I had an old 714 00:46:25.849 --> 00:46:30.050 title from my other book. Is called quest for rest, because I was 715 00:46:30.650 --> 00:46:34.760 away, was manic and I was just seeking being asleep. But that's also 716 00:46:34.840 --> 00:46:37.960 question. Is In a lot of book titles, including My ballider and on 717 00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:42.119 my husband's book titles. So we joke about that and it's like so, 718 00:46:42.239 --> 00:46:44.239 I don't know, I'm just really happy. I like my title, I 719 00:46:44.440 --> 00:46:47.309 like my cover, I love the design. I had an amazing graphic designer. 720 00:46:47.389 --> 00:46:52.030 I found her on one of those websites because I worked with my publisher 721 00:46:52.110 --> 00:46:55.989 separately on the type on the cover, and she's turning Sinessa Minard and she 722 00:46:57.349 --> 00:47:00.900 is just gifted. So I was able to work with her and just get 723 00:47:00.980 --> 00:47:05.059 the kind of cover. Actually, the concept of the cover was from my 724 00:47:05.219 --> 00:47:08.300 my two daughters came up with the idea and it's really simple. But I 725 00:47:08.739 --> 00:47:14.099 since your graphic designer, you understand the importance of a book cover and stuff. 726 00:47:14.539 --> 00:47:16.010 Yeah, for sure. And a name. I love the whole idea 727 00:47:16.050 --> 00:47:21.449 of daming the fact that there are agencies dedicated to naming businesses and products. 728 00:47:21.849 --> 00:47:22.889 I love that. I wish I got paid to do that. Maybe I 729 00:47:22.929 --> 00:47:28.610 should look into that one. But anyways, I prefer to be closer to 730 00:47:28.690 --> 00:47:30.559 the actual product I can. This case, I want to create the podcast 731 00:47:30.679 --> 00:47:35.119 and then I also get to design a get to name it. So that's 732 00:47:35.159 --> 00:47:37.000 part of the fun in creating and being close to the product. So like 733 00:47:37.119 --> 00:47:39.360 you're close to the product, you got to name it, you got to 734 00:47:39.519 --> 00:47:45.710 design it, and the fact that it's it's provocative birth of a new brain 735 00:47:45.989 --> 00:47:49.510 causes that knowledge gap to people think way, I don't know about new brain. 736 00:47:49.590 --> 00:47:52.429 What's that? My missing out on something and then obviously alludes to birth. 737 00:47:52.630 --> 00:47:57.030 So there's something about that. Once they find out it's about postpartter. 738 00:47:57.909 --> 00:48:00.539 Fuck, I can't say postpartum. Pretty well, I don't worry. I 739 00:48:00.099 --> 00:48:04.139 see it in my to it some very visual and I'm reading it, but 740 00:48:04.380 --> 00:48:07.900 I just get stuck at the word postpartum. I hate not, like I 741 00:48:07.980 --> 00:48:09.820 told you, I don't like any of these labels. It's just it's just 742 00:48:09.900 --> 00:48:15.610 postcard bipolar. Just think of bipolar, but then you tack on Postpartum before 743 00:48:15.650 --> 00:48:20.090 it. Okay, so I'll get I get people call me names and things 744 00:48:20.130 --> 00:48:24.050 like this over the initials of bipolar depression, I mean bipolar disorder. So 745 00:48:24.449 --> 00:48:29.760 everywhere I read it's bed, bed one, bedtwo. There's one called PBD, 746 00:48:29.960 --> 00:48:37.039 which is pediatric bipolar disorder. My God, yeah, there's too many 747 00:48:37.079 --> 00:48:39.840 of them. And then so what this one be? This one be bipolar 748 00:48:40.429 --> 00:48:45.590 prenatal. What was the other word you use earlier? Oh, I'm bipolar 749 00:48:45.670 --> 00:48:51.949 pre partum on set. So it's specifier, technically specifier of bipolar disorder. 750 00:48:51.949 --> 00:48:58.260 It's a different it's a form of bipolar disorder. So this case is yeah, 751 00:48:58.900 --> 00:49:00.539 it doesn't matter. Okay, you do not have to memorize it. 752 00:49:00.579 --> 00:49:04.260 I'll keep you know on twitter. I'll just every day. I'll just gone 753 00:49:04.780 --> 00:49:09.289 R guy, I'll I really had you did on the earlier episode. I'm 754 00:49:09.329 --> 00:49:15.690 like post bypartum depression, post bipolar depression, man, is really bad. 755 00:49:16.170 --> 00:49:20.849 It's retarded. Don't worry about like. You See, I love words like 756 00:49:20.929 --> 00:49:22.889 that slip out sometimes. Now I might have to go edit that out, 757 00:49:23.840 --> 00:49:29.679 man. All right, so birth of a new birth of a new brain, 758 00:49:30.119 --> 00:49:32.559 not birth of a new nation, birth of a new brain. Look 759 00:49:32.599 --> 00:49:37.719 at that on Amazon and facebook. So here's the thing I was wondering about. 760 00:49:37.760 --> 00:49:40.150 You're easy to find on twitter because you spell your name differently. So 761 00:49:40.510 --> 00:49:45.869 if you're listening and inclined to be checking out twitter, followed Diane. She's 762 00:49:45.909 --> 00:49:50.750 a great supporter of all things mental health. That's how we came to know 763 00:49:50.869 --> 00:49:54.579 each other. She was really supportive of bipolar style. She is at Diane 764 00:49:55.019 --> 00:50:00.659 her wood, which is just like it sounds, except for it's D Y 765 00:50:00.019 --> 00:50:05.019 Any. So how did you get dy any? Did you make that up 766 00:50:05.099 --> 00:50:12.929 yourself or just give it to them? She loves Dan Cannan, the actress. 767 00:50:13.130 --> 00:50:16.489 That's how Dan came spelling. Yeah, yeah, but she added to 768 00:50:16.610 --> 00:50:21.170 eat an kennants felled, the DYA and interesting. I don't know that. 769 00:50:21.840 --> 00:50:24.519 Yeah, so, yeah, like a hybrid of Diane Cannon and Old, 770 00:50:24.519 --> 00:50:30.039 old style Diane Interest Today. Very cool and, like I she in a 771 00:50:30.159 --> 00:50:35.949 band. We're her parents hippies. How did that happen? But as kind 772 00:50:35.949 --> 00:50:40.150 of the branding thing coming up nowadays, excuse me, I'm having a name 773 00:50:40.230 --> 00:50:43.909 like that really stands out. So if you're inclined to follow on twitter, 774 00:50:43.949 --> 00:50:50.980 Dy A. Any Diane Hardwood? Hr Wood, Diane Hardwood, and do 775 00:50:51.099 --> 00:50:55.179 you still write at your block on Word Press? Oh, the blog? 776 00:50:55.579 --> 00:50:59.099 Could I give use a yeah, yeah, do you still right there? 777 00:50:59.420 --> 00:51:05.530 Proudly Bipolar Doctor Stych? I do. I write every Friday. I'm really 778 00:51:05.650 --> 00:51:08.449 like pedantic about it. It's like a superstition in mine. Some things I 779 00:51:08.449 --> 00:51:13.769 should tell you, like I cris you are all like I you need to 780 00:51:13.809 --> 00:51:16.210 change it, like I don't like it, but it's probably by polar dot 781 00:51:16.250 --> 00:51:21.800 wordpresscom. I need to change that. I guess you can ask if it 782 00:51:21.840 --> 00:51:24.199 gets popular, you could just get proudly bipolarcom and point it. They're right, 783 00:51:25.360 --> 00:51:28.000 I know, but I kind of well, I kind of want to 784 00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:30.119 have it after the title of my book, but I just have been lazy 785 00:51:30.239 --> 00:51:35.829 and I can just change it. But I'm lazy. Sometimes Lazy. There's 786 00:51:35.829 --> 00:51:39.309 so much to do when you're promoting anything. It's so tedious. All the 787 00:51:39.349 --> 00:51:45.510 different social platforms. You have to be on all the details involved. If 788 00:51:45.510 --> 00:51:46.739 you want to change one thing, like Oh, I'm going to change the 789 00:51:47.860 --> 00:51:51.460 tag line for this, Oh Geez, and I got to go to five 790 00:51:51.539 --> 00:51:54.780 different social websites to change the tagline or when to update my do it. 791 00:51:55.460 --> 00:51:58.579 You're good at these things. I can fell as I I mean, look 792 00:51:58.579 --> 00:52:01.210 at you created a podcast, you gave birth to the podcast. So much 793 00:52:01.289 --> 00:52:06.210 work all during the week. I'm like, do I want to do that? 794 00:52:06.329 --> 00:52:10.530 But so what I really like lately is is having guests. This is 795 00:52:10.610 --> 00:52:15.320 great, like I had Anka and Jason. Now you there's a that B 796 00:52:15.559 --> 00:52:22.199 word area is unpacked, sparkle. There's a whole bunch of people and then 797 00:52:22.199 --> 00:52:28.039 there's actually people that have signed up on the website at bipolar stylecom that indicated 798 00:52:28.079 --> 00:52:31.989 they want to be Paul podcasts. Byeah forgetting out of talk. My mind 799 00:52:32.110 --> 00:52:36.869 is unwinding as we speak. Anyway, they indicated they want to be podcast 800 00:52:36.989 --> 00:52:39.110 guests, which is great. So I think I'll just keep linding folks like 801 00:52:39.349 --> 00:52:44.030 yourselves up, because I don't mind. I'll kind of like being a ring 802 00:52:44.110 --> 00:52:47.739 leader of folks and I really like getting other people's stories out there more, 803 00:52:47.900 --> 00:52:53.500 particularly people that are creating, because I think people like yourself that wrote a 804 00:52:53.539 --> 00:53:00.369 book or Jason that made a film are really inspiring to people that might be 805 00:53:00.489 --> 00:53:04.250 feeling really down right now, just knowing that, hey, we have the 806 00:53:04.289 --> 00:53:07.730 same condition and it does get better. You know, you can harness the 807 00:53:07.809 --> 00:53:12.010 good things too. That's right. That's right. That pe win us to 808 00:53:12.090 --> 00:53:17.159 press. So I couldn't spend want to, probably shouldn't save to handle people 809 00:53:17.199 --> 00:53:21.880 who are successful or whatever, because, like, I really never thought would 810 00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:23.639 happen for me. I really really didn't think, do you know what I 811 00:53:23.719 --> 00:53:28.550 mean? So, so she out when I at the end of my booked 812 00:53:28.869 --> 00:53:31.389 or whatever it was on Thursday night, I said it's a Cliche, but 813 00:53:31.510 --> 00:53:35.829 I used the cliche. I said there is hope if I can get better, 814 00:53:36.070 --> 00:53:37.550 you know there's you can get better, because I'm pretty much like, 815 00:53:37.670 --> 00:53:42.099 if you read that book, I'm a horror story. Like my whole life 816 00:53:42.500 --> 00:53:46.019 after I got dignos is like now down the street, part ten, and 817 00:53:46.380 --> 00:53:52.300 it did have like a semi happy ending, but because I am really proud 818 00:53:52.340 --> 00:53:53.940 of having this book published. that. You know, no one can take 819 00:53:54.019 --> 00:53:58.929 that away from me, even with the putdowns I've gotten recently, which which 820 00:53:59.010 --> 00:54:01.449 you and I can always talk to another episode about. HMM, no one 821 00:54:01.530 --> 00:54:05.170 to know. One can take that up for me. Right, right, 822 00:54:05.250 --> 00:54:07.650 right, yeah, and you've got a really good team. It sounds like 823 00:54:07.730 --> 00:54:10.199 your kids and your husband form a really nice support circle around you. So 824 00:54:10.280 --> 00:54:15.000 that's great. Good on Y'all for keeping it together, for sure. Oh 825 00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:19.280 Yeah, people who are study times as a book. So many people already 826 00:54:19.280 --> 00:54:21.480 read the book and they looked at my husband. We've been the other like 827 00:54:21.679 --> 00:54:24.070 eighteen years or so, and they knew all the creating as we've been through 828 00:54:24.070 --> 00:54:28.510 under like they were like giving him prop so, yeah, give that man 829 00:54:28.550 --> 00:54:32.110 a high five, like right. I didn't. Luckily, I didn't go 830 00:54:32.230 --> 00:54:35.869 out, like a lot of marriages almost break up, or they do break 831 00:54:35.909 --> 00:54:37.469 up because of, you know, the hyper sexuality thing, and that's like 832 00:54:37.579 --> 00:54:43.019 pretty much the only thing I didn't do. But he had every reason to 833 00:54:43.139 --> 00:54:45.420 leave me and he didn't. You know, he has a threatened divorce at 834 00:54:45.460 --> 00:54:49.900 one point because she probably get me back on my med that was because he 835 00:54:49.940 --> 00:54:52.570 didn't know what else to do. Yeah, and and I can't blame them 836 00:54:52.610 --> 00:54:57.130 because, yeah, we it's kind of like that whole that whole sneeze thing. 837 00:54:57.210 --> 00:55:00.730 You realize when you're sneezing, you know you just sneeze. I can 838 00:55:00.769 --> 00:55:05.809 apologize, but yeah, and they're just seeing saying here, take your allergy 839 00:55:05.849 --> 00:55:09.519 medicine, stop sneezing, right, right, and now I see that. 840 00:55:09.679 --> 00:55:14.880 I didn't want to be on that. I understand both sides, but it's 841 00:55:14.920 --> 00:55:16.000 like, Damn, you know, these things for me, things I can 842 00:55:16.039 --> 00:55:20.920 get up bed now, like in bed every day for hours, and it's 843 00:55:20.960 --> 00:55:23.110 like, yeah, that's ridiculous. Okay, yeah, okay, like I 844 00:55:23.190 --> 00:55:27.670 don't have to be Miss Medfree pust. No one on this planet walks around 845 00:55:27.750 --> 00:55:30.949 as like a same to like everyone has all kinds of crap in her bodies, 846 00:55:30.389 --> 00:55:32.750 even if they don't want to admit it. Right, yeah, well, 847 00:55:32.829 --> 00:55:36.940 we live in a toxic environment that's destined to kill us if we don't 848 00:55:36.980 --> 00:55:39.900 do something. So you might as well feel better, you know. There 849 00:55:39.980 --> 00:55:43.300 you go. Tell me. I can talk to you all days, so 850 00:55:43.420 --> 00:55:46.260 tell me if I'm like take robbing you of your activities. Oh No, 851 00:55:46.500 --> 00:55:49.059 no, no, I want to make sure we got to the end of 852 00:55:49.059 --> 00:55:52.650 the bookstore. We interjected with our Netflix Plug, which will be sure until 853 00:55:52.730 --> 00:55:55.210 that Fox about, so they can plug our stuff as well or something. 854 00:55:57.090 --> 00:55:59.929 But you want, yeah, go ahead, you know what it in the 855 00:55:59.969 --> 00:56:02.690 book. You have to read about. Okay, Yep. But I every 856 00:56:02.730 --> 00:56:07.320 day for two years I interacted with the founder of Netflix. I actually touch 857 00:56:07.480 --> 00:56:12.599 the same cowl that he touched because I worked to the gym, you remember, 858 00:56:12.800 --> 00:56:15.559 and he was totally cool and Nice. You never would know who he 859 00:56:15.760 --> 00:56:20.349 was. You never we noticed guy's like Oh, cuture billionaire. He would 860 00:56:20.389 --> 00:56:22.590 just and I think you know that shows that exercise is good for you, 861 00:56:22.750 --> 00:56:29.349 because the guy like was totally retastings. I don't know who is. Yeah, 862 00:56:29.670 --> 00:56:30.789 Oh, yeah, you know that. There's something about the power of 863 00:56:30.869 --> 00:56:36.179 exercise, because he was one of the regulars who totally showed up every day 864 00:56:36.380 --> 00:56:38.539 first thing in the morning. So that's kind of like I just I just 865 00:56:38.619 --> 00:56:43.420 need to create that with you know, gave him the stability he needed to 866 00:56:44.139 --> 00:56:47.010 make Netflix into a super powerful for yeah, for sure. Yeah, if 867 00:56:47.010 --> 00:56:51.769 you build exercise in touch with him. Yeah, well, how would you 868 00:56:51.849 --> 00:56:54.690 know? You never do no, right. But yeah, it's interesting because 869 00:56:55.170 --> 00:57:00.210 I always think of depression as kind of like a crust forming around me and 870 00:57:00.289 --> 00:57:02.880 if I don't get up and exercise, it continues the form and pretty soon 871 00:57:02.920 --> 00:57:08.079 it's like I can't move. I just stuck under this dark, duse ugliness. 872 00:57:09.000 --> 00:57:15.559 But breaking free when I sense depression starting to incrust me usually does a 873 00:57:15.639 --> 00:57:20.389 pretty good job of shaking everything off, so I appreciate it. I'n for 874 00:57:20.550 --> 00:57:22.030 me, I've been I've been off the wagons some being sick, and there's 875 00:57:22.070 --> 00:57:24.949 been the fires, and that's like those are both great excuses not to work 876 00:57:24.989 --> 00:57:30.059 out. But I used to be a certified personal trainer and I now. 877 00:57:30.780 --> 00:57:34.219 I know, I really go into it in my book about a certain kind 878 00:57:34.219 --> 00:57:37.940 of exercise for people with bipolar or like. Totally that works and helps keep 879 00:57:37.980 --> 00:57:43.659 you stable and nothing complicated. But you've been good because you've thinking on your 880 00:57:43.699 --> 00:57:46.050 bike and doing ten mile. Yeah, well, that's that's my thing. 881 00:57:46.090 --> 00:57:50.369 I'm a bicyclist and I'm a drummer. Those are like to have hobbies. 882 00:57:50.409 --> 00:57:52.489 I picked up when I was a young kid, like, you know, 883 00:57:52.650 --> 00:57:55.969 second grade or whatever, and that's a lot of my exercise now, because 884 00:57:57.090 --> 00:58:01.920 I'm well and also because when you're bipolar you don't have the best job steadiness 885 00:58:02.039 --> 00:58:05.679 record and I tend not to have a lot of money most of the time, 886 00:58:05.840 --> 00:58:09.800 so I commute by bicycle because, well, I'll save for a car. 887 00:58:10.039 --> 00:58:14.349 Belong to JEM yeah, yeah, no, I like being outside, 888 00:58:14.389 --> 00:58:16.789 I like being active, for sure, and I think it's very helpful. 889 00:58:16.949 --> 00:58:21.630 But I'm not like judging anybody that can't get up. Obviously neither neither of 890 00:58:21.630 --> 00:58:23.590 us are doing that. But so if you cannot get up out of bed, 891 00:58:23.789 --> 00:58:27.860 we hear you. I sometimes, yeah, yeah, hear you. 892 00:58:28.019 --> 00:58:30.300 Yeah, sometimes I get too far, like I'll be on my bike and 893 00:58:30.380 --> 00:58:34.179 I'm like man, I'm like twelve miles from home and I'm like kind of 894 00:58:34.300 --> 00:58:37.739 depressed. I mean I just want to crawl in bed right now. But 895 00:58:37.699 --> 00:58:40.570 that's where it's like, Oh, well, nope, you got yourself into 896 00:58:40.610 --> 00:58:44.369 this one. Now, it's not going to kill you. Just pedal your 897 00:58:44.369 --> 00:58:46.050 ass back home and then you can relax. But by the time you get 898 00:58:46.090 --> 00:58:50.969 home you're like I did it now, but champion. And Yeah, this 899 00:58:51.090 --> 00:58:55.719 a whole thing about just having the grit to push through. So creative people 900 00:58:55.760 --> 00:59:00.039 that actually produce things into the world always impressed me. So your book was 901 00:59:00.119 --> 00:59:04.280 a great achievement. You had the grit to push through. Took ten years 902 00:59:05.719 --> 00:59:10.590 and yeah, now that's really awesome. So birth of a new brain, 903 00:59:12.110 --> 00:59:15.349 everybody, all those three people that are listening to the podcast on the bus 904 00:59:15.389 --> 00:59:20.909 right there, those three people, go listen to birth of a new brain 905 00:59:20.989 --> 00:59:23.070 or download birth of a new brain and read that book. Can you download 906 00:59:23.110 --> 00:59:27.579 it digitally or is it all all paper? Yeah, you can get it 907 00:59:27.659 --> 00:59:30.739 on Kend on and please leave. Leave you know, if you feel some 908 00:59:30.980 --> 00:59:32.460 time, free to leave a good view, even if you hate it, 909 00:59:32.539 --> 00:59:36.940 I don't care what. Yeah, it's not hard to leave reviews and I 910 00:59:37.019 --> 00:59:39.610 appreciate reviews when people leave them on the podcast as well, because I know 911 00:59:39.650 --> 00:59:44.090 it takes extra amount of time. So, but it does help because people 912 00:59:44.090 --> 00:59:49.929 wonder about things, especially new things, and postpartum bipolar depression is a new 913 00:59:50.050 --> 00:59:52.719 thing, so people should check into it and read up. Keep up with 914 00:59:52.840 --> 00:59:55.199 you on your what do you what do you hang out most? Twitter? 915 00:59:57.480 --> 00:60:00.320 Twitter, yeah, you know it. You see me there. Yeah, 916 00:60:00.719 --> 00:60:04.679 but how often do you blog? Again, just once a week. And 917 00:60:04.840 --> 00:60:07.469 actually, when I think, judge, leave US weeks of a big deal. 918 00:60:07.269 --> 00:60:10.190 Anybody. Once a week is a big deal. Ze's that's a lot. 919 00:60:10.269 --> 00:60:13.750 Yeah, oh well, good for you. So we should post your 920 00:60:13.869 --> 00:60:15.949 blog more often to on twitter, because I don't actually see it as often 921 00:60:15.989 --> 00:60:19.710 as I should, or maybe I know it. Thank uses me. I 922 00:60:19.789 --> 00:60:25.539 get confused on twitter when people start retweeting retweets of comments of original post and 923 00:60:25.579 --> 00:60:30.139 I'm like, I like these people, but I don't exactly know what I'm 924 00:60:30.139 --> 00:60:34.579 jumping into here. R is this a train I want to be a part 925 00:60:34.619 --> 00:60:37.849 of? I don't know, but I know I still don't know. I 926 00:60:37.969 --> 00:60:40.010 only know something that you know. I'm still learning. I need to mess 927 00:60:40.010 --> 00:60:45.010 with twitter lists. That's my new thing to learn. Apparently, lists of 928 00:60:45.050 --> 00:60:47.730 the way to start sorting people and communicating more effectively with the people that you're 929 00:60:47.769 --> 00:60:52.719 really close to and not just your Rando followers. Okay, guys, see, 930 00:60:52.760 --> 00:60:53.639 that's what they need to learn. So, yeah, me too, 931 00:60:53.719 --> 00:60:57.519 and it sounds like a nice, solid thing to learn up over the weekend 932 00:60:57.519 --> 00:61:00.440 that I could probably make some coolest I want to make a bipolar cabal of 933 00:61:00.559 --> 00:61:05.349 my own on twitter. Right, right, just the piece. I'll tell 934 00:61:05.389 --> 00:61:07.949 you something about caball, because I look at us after you used it. 935 00:61:07.190 --> 00:61:10.269 You inspired me to do that. Isn't supposed to be rich. Are we 936 00:61:10.309 --> 00:61:14.989 supposed to be a secret? Yeah, that's the irony of it. Okay, 937 00:61:15.150 --> 00:61:20.099 the irony of it. It's it's a secret cabal that they found out 938 00:61:20.139 --> 00:61:22.420 about but they cannot be a part of because it's secret. They're not supposed 939 00:61:22.659 --> 00:61:28.179 about it. It's a double twist. Yeah, okay, you're you're a 940 00:61:28.219 --> 00:61:30.739 little yeah, you're, you're sneaky. I live kind of in a Dimeta 941 00:61:30.780 --> 00:61:35.329 verse where I'm kind of like in on my own thing. I'm in on 942 00:61:35.409 --> 00:61:38.690 my own life and the simulation of it. So sometimes I try to reprogram 943 00:61:38.769 --> 00:61:44.409 you up, you know. Yeah, yeah, seriously, so cool then. 944 00:61:44.489 --> 00:61:45.130 Well, I'm going to get out. I think I still have enough 945 00:61:45.170 --> 00:61:49.320 time to take a shower and get to San Francisco to my Dbsa meeting, 946 00:61:49.400 --> 00:61:52.760 which is good because, okay, they might download and like to listen and 947 00:61:52.840 --> 00:61:55.280 hear about this as well. And it's beautiful in the bay area. I 948 00:61:55.400 --> 00:62:00.880 hope the moisture kind of tamper down the fires where you live. That's pretty 949 00:62:00.880 --> 00:62:06.070 narly. Yeah, not'so much better done here at saying goodness awesome. Well, 950 00:62:06.110 --> 00:62:08.510 you guys enjoyed the weekends. I'll get this podcast put together and I'll 951 00:62:08.550 --> 00:62:12.309 probably put it up like, you know, Sunday night or Monday morning and 952 00:62:12.469 --> 00:62:15.380 time for the crowds and and do my normal promo. So we'll see what 953 00:62:15.420 --> 00:62:19.699 kind of damage we can do and see how many people we can enlighten. 954 00:62:21.059 --> 00:62:22.420 All right, all right, are we still being is is still recorded or 955 00:62:22.500 --> 00:62:25.219 yeah, this is still recording. We're still going. Okay, okay, 956 00:62:25.739 --> 00:62:29.340 right now. It's just so that's what's a nice is. It's just like 957 00:62:29.420 --> 00:62:31.090 a it's just talking to someboddies. I'm trying to yeah, I'm trying to 958 00:62:31.130 --> 00:62:34.849 make her seem like so other people would like. Oh yeah, I'd like 959 00:62:34.889 --> 00:62:37.329 to tell my story. I'll tell my story with that dude on. Yeah, 960 00:62:37.210 --> 00:62:40.010 so, cool, let me see this. Let me just take that 961 00:62:40.130 --> 00:62:45.079 was what I totally look forward with you, as opposed to past, because 962 00:62:45.079 --> 00:62:46.199 I just thought like wow, it's John. I feel like I can really 963 00:62:46.239 --> 00:62:51.000 do myself with him and it's not as scary as some of the other things 964 00:62:51.159 --> 00:62:53.159 that I've encountered at all. So I thanks urged everyone to do it. 965 00:62:53.280 --> 00:62:55.880 Yeah, go with the flow because, yeah, I'm not real glad. 966 00:62:57.079 --> 00:62:59.230 Yeah, I won't dig too deep, but I am a curious person, 967 00:62:59.309 --> 00:63:01.909 so I kind of digress into different things, but I guess my whole idea 968 00:63:01.949 --> 00:63:07.829 about this particular show is it's the show isn't necessarily about bipolar. It's about 969 00:63:07.909 --> 00:63:13.019 life from a bipolar person's perspective, like what we find interesting and the wacky 970 00:63:13.099 --> 00:63:16.539 things we think about, like the futurism stuff we were mentioning. I got 971 00:63:16.699 --> 00:63:22.460 a well written and very eager and engage in email from a customer. That 972 00:63:22.820 --> 00:63:25.619 from a not a customer I'm getting used to work now, from a listener 973 00:63:27.059 --> 00:63:30.730 that said too much politics. So I will in the future, if I 974 00:63:30.769 --> 00:63:32.809 ever need to rant about politics, I will keep that encased in their own 975 00:63:32.849 --> 00:63:37.690 episode and clearly label it, because I get politics is part of my life, 976 00:63:37.449 --> 00:63:40.210 but I understand a lot of people get triggered by this, especially nowadays, 977 00:63:40.289 --> 00:63:44.400 so I won't go into that any further. But yeah, keep it 978 00:63:44.519 --> 00:63:46.519 cool and I'd love to have you back for lots of things. So that 979 00:63:46.639 --> 00:63:51.599 that's part of my cabal. Is that like almost a cast of a cast 980 00:63:51.679 --> 00:63:57.309 of people that we can turn to for interesting content. You like Howard Stern 981 00:63:57.630 --> 00:64:00.909 and his little name. No, yeah, one of my own rat pack, 982 00:64:01.230 --> 00:64:05.230 whatever he calls them, holds it well. Well. I'll think of 983 00:64:05.269 --> 00:64:09.190 a topic list where you know what's the first one? The rejection thing. 984 00:64:09.309 --> 00:64:12.139 So I'll make a few more notes and just sound them your way. So 985 00:64:12.619 --> 00:64:15.980 that would be awesome. We could also figure out how to do like multi 986 00:64:15.099 --> 00:64:19.420 callers. I would like to get like you and Jason or you and the 987 00:64:19.460 --> 00:64:23.019 B word. I think I'm going to do that B word next. I 988 00:64:23.179 --> 00:64:26.650 don't see her name begins the be but I think she hides her name like 989 00:64:26.730 --> 00:64:31.650 I do now. Right anyway. So we'll here. We'll take care to 990 00:64:31.809 --> 00:64:34.570 have a good make sure you make it to the go all the way to 991 00:64:34.570 --> 00:64:39.639 the meeting. You can do it. You can do it. I'm choking 992 00:64:39.679 --> 00:64:42.920 over here. That's funny. I will do my best to get all the 993 00:64:43.000 --> 00:64:48.000 way into the DPS A circle today. The host of it all, thanks 994 00:64:48.039 --> 00:64:53.070 for having me. It's a total honor and you know the pleasure mine. 995 00:64:54.030 --> 00:64:56.829 Thanks, Diane. Have a great weekend and I tell your family thank you 996 00:64:56.869 --> 00:65:00.989 for your time. I really appreciate it. Sure enough. Okay, take 997 00:65:00.070 --> 00:65:08.619 care. If you'd liked what you heard, subscribe on Apple Podcast by Itunes 998 00:65:08.820 --> 00:65:13.019 and join us at by color stylecom. Thanks. Will listen. Name