Personal perspective and parental estrangement

WEBVTT 1 00:00:07.150 --> 00:00:12.990 Hey now, welcome back to Emo Dojo. I'm johnny emotions. Thanks for 2 00:00:13.150 --> 00:00:17.589 being here, thanks for letting me in your head once again. Today I'm 3 00:00:17.589 --> 00:00:24.739 talking about individual perspective and estrangement. What. What are all these things? 4 00:00:25.420 --> 00:00:28.660 Here's what it's all about. Okay, so you know. Now I got 5 00:00:28.739 --> 00:00:31.620 to give you an update on the on the voice coach and the nft stuff. 6 00:00:31.660 --> 00:00:36.609 Real quick, real quick. So the NFT thing, if you've listened 7 00:00:36.609 --> 00:00:41.210 to other PODCASTS, I'm lit up on that Shit right now. I'm man 8 00:00:42.250 --> 00:00:46.369 almost like hypomanic about it. Trying not to be, I'm just really excited 9 00:00:46.490 --> 00:00:51.039 and it keeps me up late at night, not too late, a little 10 00:00:51.039 --> 00:00:57.320 bit later than normal. But long story short, the NFT timing thing is 11 00:00:57.520 --> 00:01:00.960 now. If you are a creative person, you need to get your ass 12 00:01:02.200 --> 00:01:06.430 into nft's just do it. However, you can not listen to me, 13 00:01:06.670 --> 00:01:10.670 go listen to other podcast. I'm not an NFT podcast, of course, 14 00:01:11.950 --> 00:01:15.950 but it well, here's the thing. Explaining an NFT to somebody, or 15 00:01:17.150 --> 00:01:23.540 even cryptocurrency or any of that stuff it after a while. It feels like 16 00:01:23.260 --> 00:01:27.780 maybe back in the day when they tried to get all the people to turn 17 00:01:27.859 --> 00:01:32.700 in their gold for paper money and the people that held gold to like you 18 00:01:32.780 --> 00:01:37.409 want me to give me, give you my gold for that piece of paper. 19 00:01:38.170 --> 00:01:42.090 Now you're fucking you're fucking nuts. No fucking way, and I think 20 00:01:42.090 --> 00:01:47.049 a lot of people right now, forgetting those lessons of the past, think 21 00:01:47.159 --> 00:01:53.799 the same way of cryptocurrency. They're like what, you want me to trade 22 00:01:53.799 --> 00:02:00.790 in my piece of paper money for an imaginary pixels on a screen? Yes, 23 00:02:00.989 --> 00:02:07.989 that is exactly what is happening. So a couple of things are converging. 24 00:02:07.069 --> 00:02:12.590 Then the timing for NFT's is now. I need to focus my commitment 25 00:02:12.710 --> 00:02:17.060 on that also. I started to do my homework for my voiceover instructor. 26 00:02:17.340 --> 00:02:28.419 The particular voiceover instructor I had chosen is into long form nonfiction books, nonfiction. 27 00:02:28.500 --> 00:02:30.810 I love it. In fact that's most of what I consume. I 28 00:02:30.969 --> 00:02:36.810 read and listen to long form nonfiction books. Well, as it turned out, 29 00:02:37.569 --> 00:02:42.129 I can't sit in a booth for more than ten or fifteen minutes before 30 00:02:42.169 --> 00:02:46.719 I get really antsy and I lose focus and there's just no way I can 31 00:02:46.759 --> 00:02:52.479 do long form anything. So I am going to put this particular voice coaching 32 00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:57.159 session on hold and look for something else and well, here's a strange thing 33 00:02:57.199 --> 00:03:00.550 would happen right. So, in building an NFT team of local artists, 34 00:03:00.870 --> 00:03:05.830 I met with one of them who does a bunch of work for a big 35 00:03:05.949 --> 00:03:09.789 government agency, let's call it creative work, and they use voiceover talent pretty 36 00:03:09.909 --> 00:03:17.219 frequently short form stuff like quick explainer videos and things like that. So when 37 00:03:17.259 --> 00:03:22.259 we met up to talk about NFTS for Brunch on Sunday, he gave me 38 00:03:22.340 --> 00:03:28.009 a list of like five local voice agents, voice talent agents, to check 39 00:03:28.050 --> 00:03:30.409 into and also one to avoid completely. So I thought that was cool and 40 00:03:30.449 --> 00:03:36.210 kind of fortuitous in that same sense that once you decide to go in a 41 00:03:36.330 --> 00:03:39.689 direction, things tend to align for you. So anyway, I'm going to 42 00:03:40.919 --> 00:03:46.680 not do the vocal coaching for long term long form. I'm sorry, narration. 43 00:03:46.680 --> 00:03:53.319 Going to focus specifically on nfts and then shopping for more local jobs in 44 00:03:53.400 --> 00:03:57.590 the voiceover field, like for car commercials and things like that. That sounds 45 00:03:57.629 --> 00:04:00.949 like a blast to me. I'm not going to do one right here on 46 00:04:00.069 --> 00:04:04.750 this because you know me and I'm embarrassed in front of you, but if 47 00:04:04.789 --> 00:04:08.509 I have a script and I know it's for somebody else that's not you, 48 00:04:09.150 --> 00:04:11.979 yes, I can read the shit out of a car commercial. So that's 49 00:04:12.060 --> 00:04:15.740 the angle we're going for there. The nft thing is pretty amazing. I'm 50 00:04:15.740 --> 00:04:19.819 want to not talk about it anymore. You'll figure it out. If you're 51 00:04:19.860 --> 00:04:26.170 into making money or a living, you just got to give yourself a chance. 52 00:04:26.250 --> 00:04:30.769 Imagine now if we were back like eight years ago and you had the 53 00:04:30.850 --> 00:04:36.370 money to invest in Bitcoin and now you just got all kinds of it right. 54 00:04:36.730 --> 00:04:42.160 Well, a similar thing is happening now with NFTS, except the cost 55 00:04:42.279 --> 00:04:46.879 to entry is not money, it's your creative talent. And if I know 56 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:50.120 anything, I know most of the people that, well, almost all of 57 00:04:50.199 --> 00:04:56.870 the people I know that are diagnosed with mental illnesses or disorders. They're creative 58 00:04:56.870 --> 00:05:00.269 people. Of course, that's not to say all creative peoplele are mental, 59 00:05:00.990 --> 00:05:04.110 but it is to say all the mental people I know are creative, and 60 00:05:04.509 --> 00:05:08.060 I think a lot of that. The older I get in the more wisdom 61 00:05:08.100 --> 00:05:12.300 I gain, I think a lot of feeling out of it, feeling mental, 62 00:05:12.579 --> 00:05:17.060 feeling disordered or even ill, has a lot to do with you simply 63 00:05:17.180 --> 00:05:20.970 not being in alignment with the Shit you're supposed to be doing with your life 64 00:05:20.970 --> 00:05:25.930 anyway, and I know it's hard in a capitalist world to like be a 65 00:05:26.050 --> 00:05:29.449 creative person. The whole you know, trope of the struggling artist and whatnot 66 00:05:29.490 --> 00:05:33.290 has been around forever. Well, maybe not struggling so much anymore. Maybe 67 00:05:33.370 --> 00:05:36.959 this is the revolution. Maybe this is the rise of the creatives and it 68 00:05:38.079 --> 00:05:42.079 came on so suddenly. I don't know if most people have even caught on. 69 00:05:42.800 --> 00:05:46.439 It's really wild and it's a fun rabbit hole. There's some great podcast 70 00:05:46.560 --> 00:05:49.269 I listened to a new one is called proof. Just look up for the 71 00:05:49.350 --> 00:05:54.790 proof podcast. I think their website is proof dot X Y Z, which 72 00:05:54.829 --> 00:06:00.110 you'll find is pretty common in the crypto world, the XYZ subdomain or web 73 00:06:00.230 --> 00:06:08.540 domain. Another one I like a lot is called nft. Now, so 74 00:06:08.699 --> 00:06:13.259 if you're a creative, for God's Sakes, please go look into nft's right 75 00:06:13.339 --> 00:06:16.100 now and, you know, you might be able to do something that you've 76 00:06:16.139 --> 00:06:19.410 always wanted to do your whole life and actually make a living, or a 77 00:06:19.610 --> 00:06:24.889 great living. Now, I'm not saying that you know it. Eventually it's 78 00:06:24.889 --> 00:06:27.129 going to become like any other thing that's cool and fun. It's going to 79 00:06:27.170 --> 00:06:29.689 be like, oh well, there's too many, there's millions, there's millions 80 00:06:29.689 --> 00:06:30.610 of you. Everyone wants to be in a band, you know, or 81 00:06:30.649 --> 00:06:35.759 everyone wants to have an nfte or a podcast or whatnot, but NFTS are 82 00:06:35.759 --> 00:06:40.680 different. I feel it in my bones. I'm a huge evangelist about it, 83 00:06:41.079 --> 00:06:43.399 which is funny because I don't really know shit about them. I just 84 00:06:43.480 --> 00:06:46.600 know I'm an artist and I know that that's a way to lock in creative 85 00:06:46.639 --> 00:06:51.310 value for evermore. So, backing up to the voice coaching thing, I 86 00:06:51.470 --> 00:06:56.470 had gone through a lot of the coaches course work, you know, doing 87 00:06:56.509 --> 00:07:01.339 my homework and all that. One of the things they talk about is your 88 00:07:01.540 --> 00:07:06.019 personal brand. So much like if you're in a band, the record stores 89 00:07:06.060 --> 00:07:09.819 of the old days or even, you know, modern streaming services need to 90 00:07:09.899 --> 00:07:12.899 know what category to put you in. Is it rock? Is Rb Urban, 91 00:07:12.939 --> 00:07:16.329 contemporary, country, EDM? All that. Well, in the voiceover 92 00:07:16.490 --> 00:07:20.569 world, first of all you need to pick a category or a genre, 93 00:07:21.009 --> 00:07:27.410 for example, long form nonfiction. That's a thing. Car Announcers, commercial 94 00:07:27.449 --> 00:07:30.759 announcers explain, or videos. Those are all different types of voice work you 95 00:07:30.839 --> 00:07:34.680 can do. But you still have to brand yourself. You have to be 96 00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:42.600 specific. So the questions in the course work I was taking ask things like 97 00:07:43.000 --> 00:07:47.589 you have to find out what's your personality, and then you know what's your 98 00:07:47.670 --> 00:07:53.589 physical presence and what's your vibe. So what I did, based on his 99 00:07:53.750 --> 00:07:58.899 description of those terms, because I put up a survey monkey, survey monkey, 100 00:07:59.620 --> 00:08:03.579 I put up a survey, a monkey form. What's the survey monkey 101 00:08:03.660 --> 00:08:05.579 form? It's a survey. I put up a survey on the Internet and 102 00:08:07.180 --> 00:08:11.019 sent it out to a bunch of people that have both known me for a 103 00:08:11.139 --> 00:08:18.170 long time, since high school, and also people that know me now and 104 00:08:18.290 --> 00:08:22.410 are with me every day. And here's what is super weird and super fucked 105 00:08:22.449 --> 00:08:28.199 up to me anyway. So, okay, here's some of the things. 106 00:08:28.240 --> 00:08:30.319 All right, bear with me. I'm not trying to too my own horn, 107 00:08:30.439 --> 00:08:33.080 just trying to I'll get to the point and you'll see that I'm absolutely 108 00:08:33.159 --> 00:08:39.200 not to it in my own horn. Well, describe John's personality. I'll 109 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:43.190 just read through some of the answers that I don't know who wrote these answers, 110 00:08:43.230 --> 00:08:46.950 though that's the cool thing, because it's purely anonymous. I just have 111 00:08:46.990 --> 00:08:52.590 a timestamp and the words they used. So describe John's personality. Fun, 112 00:08:52.789 --> 00:08:58.379 random, friendly, curious, creative, motivated, life experienced. Does that 113 00:08:58.580 --> 00:09:03.779 mean old, kidding, driven to learn new things with an inherent rebellious nature. 114 00:09:03.779 --> 00:09:09.139 Yeah, that person knows me pretty good. Thoughtful, curious, easygoing, 115 00:09:09.299 --> 00:09:16.289 intelligent, quirky, energetic, informative, fun loving, intelligent, outgoing 116 00:09:16.330 --> 00:09:20.330 and confident, hard worker, thinks outside the box. Sounds positive but can 117 00:09:20.370 --> 00:09:24.679 go negative in a minute. Oh Yeah, that person definitely knows me. 118 00:09:24.559 --> 00:09:28.919 Outgoing, both smart and hilarious. See You, guys, I told you. 119 00:09:31.679 --> 00:09:37.159 Creative, charismatic, reliable, energetic, loyal, friendly and soothing. 120 00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:43.309 So those are all comments from the respondents of people that have known me since 121 00:09:43.350 --> 00:09:48.710 I was a kid and who know me continually. Now, okay, here's 122 00:09:48.750 --> 00:09:52.620 what's fucked up about it. That those all represent the person I want to 123 00:09:52.700 --> 00:10:00.259 be. Some like okay, but so I want people to see me as 124 00:10:00.340 --> 00:10:05.299 those things. However, I never think I'm portraying those things. I feel 125 00:10:05.299 --> 00:10:09.289 like it. Just no, I don't feel like that at all. I 126 00:10:09.450 --> 00:10:15.289 have really low self image and I can't believe that I'm actually projecting what I 127 00:10:15.409 --> 00:10:18.850 want to project. So there's both a really profound sadness that I'm actually I 128 00:10:20.250 --> 00:10:24.480 am kind of the person I hoped I was, and also I maybe I 129 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:26.080 have been that way for a long time. When I just didn't know it. 130 00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:30.840 That's crazy. See, that means I've just been wasting opportunity. Of 131 00:10:30.919 --> 00:10:35.639 People think I'm this way. Maybe I should just be that way. Wild, 132 00:10:35.269 --> 00:10:41.710 physical present stuff is kind of boring. So relaxed and in inviting to 133 00:10:41.870 --> 00:10:46.509 conversation. I like that. Actually, nonintimidating, intelligent and extremely friendly, 134 00:10:48.070 --> 00:10:50.539 cool, strong presence. If John is in the room, you are probably 135 00:10:50.700 --> 00:10:56.379 interacting with him. Yeah, because I don't leave anybody alone. Welcoming Drummers, 136 00:10:56.460 --> 00:11:01.340 tapping, that is for sure. I self stem all the time. 137 00:11:01.539 --> 00:11:05.129 My Legs Rock in my footstep and ER my fingers. That happened. I 138 00:11:05.289 --> 00:11:09.250 probably drive most of the people that know me crazy with that one aspect of 139 00:11:09.370 --> 00:11:15.289 my behavior alone. I like this one. Welcoming, sexy, approachable. 140 00:11:16.250 --> 00:11:18.840 I don't know who answered at thirty seven in the morning and said sexy, 141 00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:26.799 but high five. Well groomed, distinguished and maintained, always aware, clean 142 00:11:26.919 --> 00:11:33.710 cut, looks healthy. Another healthy, inspiring word. I like it. 143 00:11:33.070 --> 00:11:37.350 Someone answered at four hundred and three in the morning. Inspiring. That's awesome, 144 00:11:39.629 --> 00:11:45.429 impressive, real. That's the way. I think. I put this 145 00:11:45.549 --> 00:11:48.019 on twitter. I went if I twitter followers snuck in there. So yeah, 146 00:11:48.299 --> 00:11:54.340 four hundred and three am. Inspiring, impressive, real, genuine, 147 00:11:54.899 --> 00:12:01.250 handsome, clean and relaxed. Cool, cool. Now I'm just starting to 148 00:12:01.330 --> 00:12:05.090 curious what other answers four or three in the morning answered. Let's go up 149 00:12:05.129 --> 00:12:09.250 back to this one. Okay, so they said both smart and hilarious. 150 00:12:09.289 --> 00:12:13.450 All right, now, my vibe, but that was a little harder to 151 00:12:13.610 --> 00:12:16.200 define. But basically your vibe is the unspoken or the you know, the 152 00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:18.919 I don't even know how to say. It's the energy you bring into a 153 00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:22.480 room, which it's not. It's not smoke it. It's not spoken, 154 00:12:22.519 --> 00:12:24.240 you don't speak it out. or it's not the noise you make, of 155 00:12:24.320 --> 00:12:26.639 the clothes you wear. It just how you carry yourself, I guess. 156 00:12:26.679 --> 00:12:33.309 Anyway, that's a horrible description of it, but it was a better description 157 00:12:33.429 --> 00:12:37.669 in the survey monkey. The answer is tended out to be chill and easygoing 158 00:12:39.389 --> 00:12:43.659 creates, a creative with a let's get to work vibe, mentality, team 159 00:12:43.700 --> 00:12:48.659 guy, innovators vibe, cheerful yet mellow. He makes everyone feel like what 160 00:12:48.820 --> 00:12:54.899 they're saying is super interesting. Different vibe that beats to its own drum. 161 00:12:54.860 --> 00:13:00.529 Fun, easygoing. You know you're with the friend and ready for interesting conversation. 162 00:13:01.129 --> 00:13:05.330 Sometimes a heated debate if he can beat you enough. Yeah, that's 163 00:13:05.330 --> 00:13:13.279 actually true. Positive and peaceful, joyous. Someone thinks a vibe is joyous? 164 00:13:13.960 --> 00:13:18.480 God bless you. That's amazing. Next the one said gonna get a 165 00:13:18.519 --> 00:13:24.399 rolling looking to have fun. Positive, peaceful, always positive. He always 166 00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:28.429 has a smile and can get the room talking. Knowledgeable, welcoming. All 167 00:13:28.470 --> 00:13:33.190 right, cool. So that's my vibe, my physical presence and my personality 168 00:13:33.269 --> 00:13:41.190 as described by people who've known me since I was young and now that work 169 00:13:41.269 --> 00:13:46.340 with me on the Daytoday, and yet I don't see any of those traits. 170 00:13:46.580 --> 00:13:50.700 I aspire to be like that, but I don't feel like I'm achieving 171 00:13:50.820 --> 00:13:54.820 that. So really interesting. So why do I think that? Well, 172 00:13:54.860 --> 00:14:00.049 here I was looking up parental estrangement, like this is a running theme in 173 00:14:00.129 --> 00:14:03.529 my life because I missed my kids a lot and I'm like trying to research 174 00:14:03.570 --> 00:14:07.730 and like, why don't they talk to me, because I understand why. 175 00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:11.960 Well, you know, the situation, just TU TANS or whatever, but 176 00:14:13.080 --> 00:14:16.279 I once the situation and it like we are like living on top of each 177 00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:20.759 other and just just stressful. Man, three people and little apartment and in 178 00:14:20.840 --> 00:14:26.149 a new town and nobody had jobs and it was pretty fucking wild. Anyhow, 179 00:14:26.190 --> 00:14:28.870 now that that's over, I still don't hear from them. So I'm 180 00:14:30.429 --> 00:14:33.029 first I thought was something I did, and now it's starting to think it's 181 00:14:33.070 --> 00:14:37.549 just the way we've been programmed or what we've seen as examples in our prior 182 00:14:37.620 --> 00:14:41.779 lives and things like that, because in many ways, I was thinking back, 183 00:14:41.820 --> 00:14:46.419 I put my parents on the shitlist for, you know, a couple 184 00:14:46.460 --> 00:14:50.860 of years at a time too. I think my mom made it on my 185 00:14:50.899 --> 00:14:56.370 shitlist for maybe two years or so just because she didn't care. Well, 186 00:14:56.610 --> 00:14:58.929 she was on my shitlist for a long time when she kicked me out of 187 00:14:58.929 --> 00:15:03.289 the house, but up from like fourteen years old to about, I don't 188 00:15:03.330 --> 00:15:07.440 know, my early s when I got married. But in my mind that 189 00:15:07.559 --> 00:15:09.960 was on her she kicked me out. So I'm like, I'm just trying 190 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:13.720 to live and any time I'd ask for help, but I got none. 191 00:15:13.720 --> 00:15:18.639 So just kind of pointless and seemed to be just dragging me down. That 192 00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:22.990 reconciled. reconciled. Yeah, that reconciled and my mom was at my wedding 193 00:15:22.029 --> 00:15:24.190 and all that stuff and we talked. Now, in fact, I'm going 194 00:15:24.269 --> 00:15:28.909 back to California for the Christmas holiday and I'm excited about it. I'm so 195 00:15:30.350 --> 00:15:37.220 so they're and my dad and I. We've been estranged when, first of 196 00:15:37.259 --> 00:15:41.379 all, he just moved out on us, like my mom didn't kick him 197 00:15:41.379 --> 00:15:46.100 out, he left us and he basically went and started a new family and 198 00:15:46.220 --> 00:15:50.330 then eventually they got divorced after several years, but by this point it had 199 00:15:50.330 --> 00:15:54.250 been like ten, twelve years since he was in the bay area where we 200 00:15:54.370 --> 00:15:58.450 had lived. And Yeah, it was just a mess. So, you 201 00:15:58.570 --> 00:16:03.490 know, again he ended up coming to my wedding in my early S and 202 00:16:03.730 --> 00:16:06.679 we talked off and on. You know, it was about pretty comfortable relationship. 203 00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:10.039 Just talked on the phone a couple times a year whatever. Lived maybe 204 00:16:10.559 --> 00:16:12.919 two hundred miles away from each other and of course, since I had no 205 00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:21.470 real reason for estranging him, everything I thought was normal. Later, more 206 00:16:21.590 --> 00:16:26.029 recently, let's say, when I needed my truck, like I my SUV, 207 00:16:26.750 --> 00:16:30.230 it of the most, because I had just been let go from a 208 00:16:30.269 --> 00:16:34.019 job, surprisingly, oh, because I was being a whistleblower, and he 209 00:16:34.220 --> 00:16:40.259 had my my suv, up in Tahoe, like a few hundred miles from 210 00:16:40.259 --> 00:16:44.139 San Francisco where I'd lived, and long as short of it, he had 211 00:16:44.220 --> 00:16:47.100 put my truck in his name and refused to give it back to me when 212 00:16:47.139 --> 00:16:51.009 I needed it to move, to just get my shit, like basically try 213 00:16:51.049 --> 00:16:53.769 to steal my truck. He said he didn't, but regardless, if you 214 00:16:53.809 --> 00:16:59.809 keep something from somebody when they need it, it's effectively stealing. And he 215 00:16:59.850 --> 00:17:02.080 ended up, you know, never giving it back at my kids had to 216 00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:06.279 go get it from him, which is ridiculous to even involved them at all. 217 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:11.240 So and he the okay, that's the thing. He never apologized for 218 00:17:11.359 --> 00:17:15.640 that. He had never acknowledged that what he did was nefarious or malicious. 219 00:17:15.109 --> 00:17:19.390 He just is clueless about the whole thing. So until he can figure out, 220 00:17:19.549 --> 00:17:22.309 you know, what he did wrong and he see all the emails back 221 00:17:22.349 --> 00:17:26.109 and forth, he was mad, Talking Shit about me, you know, 222 00:17:26.269 --> 00:17:32.380 making up psychiatric disorders that I don't have, you know, telling his friends, 223 00:17:32.380 --> 00:17:34.019 you know, he's not sure if he wants to kill me or not, 224 00:17:34.380 --> 00:17:37.859 you know, and the dudees x cop with a gun. So fuck 225 00:17:37.940 --> 00:17:41.460 all that, you know, until he comes right, comes correct and actually 226 00:17:41.460 --> 00:17:45.170 acknowledges what he's done and apologize for it, then yeah, he's on my 227 00:17:45.250 --> 00:17:48.289 shitlist and I think that's a valid reason I just don't need that in my 228 00:17:48.450 --> 00:17:51.809 life, and so with my kids. I just don't know what it is, 229 00:17:52.009 --> 00:17:56.769 but apparently on my research with parental alienation, which is when the divorce 230 00:17:56.809 --> 00:18:02.599 wars parent kind of poisons the kid against the other parent, that's one main 231 00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:07.200 reason for being estranged, if you will. In other words, is not 232 00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:11.559 one thing I did. It just kind of a way they've been brought up. 233 00:18:11.720 --> 00:18:15.910 You know, it's funny when you hear the theme music. That's my 234 00:18:17.190 --> 00:18:19.309 what I call my brother, that's Ray, my let's call him brother Ray, 235 00:18:21.150 --> 00:18:25.670 and we've been close since the seventh grade when he was a drummer in 236 00:18:25.710 --> 00:18:30.740 the jazz band and school and I came in and I was an actual drummer, 237 00:18:30.299 --> 00:18:34.900 and so ray went back to trombone for a second. But in the 238 00:18:36.019 --> 00:18:40.420 interim there's a school talent show, so ray and I both played drums. 239 00:18:40.539 --> 00:18:44.089 Is like just two drummers doing drum Zell was together. That was our talent 240 00:18:44.170 --> 00:18:47.250 show and we fucking rock the whole like seventh grade, everyone loved it. 241 00:18:47.329 --> 00:18:49.849 The yeah, fucking great long story show. It's kind of like the van 242 00:18:49.930 --> 00:18:55.880 Halen Story. Ray picked up guitar and the rest of his history band he's 243 00:18:55.920 --> 00:19:00.279 a phenomenal guitar player. Well, so that's how close ray and I are 244 00:19:02.119 --> 00:19:04.400 to this day. We have a psychic connection. Even if we don't talk, 245 00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:11.150 we communicate. And so what happened a few years back, after all 246 00:19:11.230 --> 00:19:14.589 these years of my ex you know, swear and she didn't Talk Shit. 247 00:19:14.630 --> 00:19:18.230 Oh No, never see anything. No, right, of course that you 248 00:19:18.349 --> 00:19:21.910 know in your heart of hearts. The fuck is she's just lying to me 249 00:19:22.069 --> 00:19:26.259 right now, and she hell of Talk Shit. Well, my oldest son 250 00:19:26.339 --> 00:19:29.579 has a pretty unique name. It's not a weird name, but it's unique 251 00:19:29.579 --> 00:19:37.849 enough, especially for someone his age and raised niece started dating my son, 252 00:19:40.250 --> 00:19:47.089 my oldest son, and she was telling Ray when she went over to raise 253 00:19:47.170 --> 00:19:51.569 house. She goes, Oh, yeah, you know, my new boyfriend's 254 00:19:51.769 --> 00:19:55.319 Dad's a drug addict and does this talk and all this match shit. And 255 00:19:56.160 --> 00:19:59.480 they didn't take them long to put two and two together. When ray found 256 00:19:59.519 --> 00:20:07.119 out that his niece's boyfriend, I'm getting my terms confused, when his niece's 257 00:20:07.269 --> 00:20:11.789 boyfriend my son his name because, like I said, it's a unique name. 258 00:20:11.789 --> 00:20:15.349 I'm not going to say it on podcast, but anyway. So Ray 259 00:20:15.430 --> 00:20:22.339 said, blah, blah, blah, my last name. She goes yeah, 260 00:20:22.500 --> 00:20:27.259 so basically she's heard the whole story. So my ex used to talk 261 00:20:27.339 --> 00:20:30.779 mat shit about me to everybody that would listen. She just crafted this whole 262 00:20:30.819 --> 00:20:33.940 story. Well, of course my kids are in the mix of it all 263 00:20:33.500 --> 00:20:37.849 for their whole lives and they just don't know any better. And you could 264 00:20:37.849 --> 00:20:41.250 tell when I hear stories. They remember all the bad things. They don't 265 00:20:41.250 --> 00:20:44.289 remember all the fun times, like how many times, how many hikes and 266 00:20:44.410 --> 00:20:45.930 bike rides we went on on, how many concerts we went and how many 267 00:20:45.970 --> 00:20:51.200 nights I would, I mean every night I'd read them books, read them 268 00:20:51.240 --> 00:20:53.519 to bed, we'd play King of the ring on the mattresses, all that 269 00:20:53.599 --> 00:20:59.119 fun stuff. They don't seem to remember it. They remember just anything negative, 270 00:20:59.240 --> 00:21:00.799 like Oh, that time I broke my arm or that time you almost 271 00:21:00.799 --> 00:21:06.509 drowned me or stuff like that. I like what? Okay. So, 272 00:21:06.789 --> 00:21:12.390 anyway, your environment directly affects how you see things and other people, and 273 00:21:15.029 --> 00:21:18.980 so that's how people become a stranged is, you know, through parental alienation 274 00:21:21.339 --> 00:21:25.339 and just small things that happen over time that if you think somebody is one 275 00:21:25.380 --> 00:21:30.259 way, then your brain has a hoyuristic mechanism inside of it that clumps everything 276 00:21:30.380 --> 00:21:33.930 to that ideal. For example, if I want to buy a Red Porsche, 277 00:21:34.369 --> 00:21:37.930 now I'm going to start seeing red porses everywhere I go. You wouldn't 278 00:21:37.930 --> 00:21:41.529 think there are that many of them, but they're everywhere. Once you think 279 00:21:41.569 --> 00:21:45.569 about that's the thing you want. That's the story I'm going with. I 280 00:21:45.690 --> 00:21:48.200 want a red porse. And the same thing goes with kids. If you're 281 00:21:48.200 --> 00:21:52.319 raised to believe that your father's a drug addict, asshole, blah, blah, 282 00:21:52.359 --> 00:21:56.559 blah. Well, every new story you're going to hear you're going to 283 00:21:56.680 --> 00:21:59.599 first compare to that story. Does it match? Yes, I'm going to 284 00:21:59.680 --> 00:22:02.670 stick it there. Does it not match? No, I'm going to discard 285 00:22:02.670 --> 00:22:04.670 it. So you know, I don't blame them at all for that because, 286 00:22:04.750 --> 00:22:08.869 you know, I explain minute ago I'd estranged my own parents for specific 287 00:22:08.950 --> 00:22:15.470 reasons and then made up. So what I'm hoping is that eventually they'll see 288 00:22:15.740 --> 00:22:18.900 that we're a strange for reasons that are no longer valid and maybe we can 289 00:22:18.980 --> 00:22:23.180 be a family again. So that's what I've learned it. It's kind of 290 00:22:23.220 --> 00:22:30.009 help mellow me out a bit the thought process this and also focusing more on 291 00:22:30.089 --> 00:22:33.569 the art right now, because I've always been an artist, like actual artists, 292 00:22:33.569 --> 00:22:37.089 like graphic designer artists and stuff like that, and I kind of tucked 293 00:22:37.089 --> 00:22:40.329 it aside. I never really thought like that was a valid way to make 294 00:22:40.410 --> 00:22:44.680 money. But it seems like the door might be open, so let's go 295 00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:48.559 through it, let's check out and FT's make some money, relax, get 296 00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:55.519 back into the swing of things and maybe not feel so mental. So I 297 00:22:55.599 --> 00:22:59.150 appreciate you for listening and I'm going to try to get some of these nft 298 00:22:59.269 --> 00:23:02.670 artists to come on the the probably won't come on as their real name or 299 00:23:02.670 --> 00:23:07.630 anything because, honestly, they're making so much money they're at risk, you 300 00:23:07.750 --> 00:23:10.910 know, for hackers or thieves and real life or whatever. That's how much 301 00:23:10.910 --> 00:23:14.740 money some of these folks can make. But some of their stories will amaze 302 00:23:14.740 --> 00:23:17.900 you because they sound just like me and you and that, you know, 303 00:23:18.059 --> 00:23:21.019 people always shut them down. They were never good enough. You try to 304 00:23:21.059 --> 00:23:23.259 submit work to a gallery, you get laughed at the whole thing. And 305 00:23:23.420 --> 00:23:29.529 now who's laughing? These motherfuckers, US motherfuckers like us, can now go 306 00:23:29.690 --> 00:23:34.490 make a money, make it the money with some artwork. So that's worth 307 00:23:34.529 --> 00:23:37.730 a shot. That's what I'm going to do. Thanks for listening and I 308 00:23:37.849 --> 00:23:42.720 look forward to hearing from you or talking to you next week. In the 309 00:23:42.799 --> 00:23:56.750 meantime, just keep living, and now back to the wall.