It's just another manic Monday ...

WEBVTT 1 00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:11.070 Well, it's Monday, November sixteen, which means it's a Monday. Who 2 00:00:11.390 --> 00:00:18.870 what a rough day. It was particularly hard because I've been enduring I don't 3 00:00:18.910 --> 00:00:25.940 know, well, stress, of course, but stress triggers my adhd and 4 00:00:26.660 --> 00:00:31.420 I don't take the meds. I don't have the MEDS for age adhd. 5 00:00:31.539 --> 00:00:37.490 I had a choice. Basically, I was tried some new meds called Concerta, 6 00:00:38.570 --> 00:00:45.450 worked pretty well, but the meds for adhd are basically speed, which 7 00:00:45.649 --> 00:00:48.929 raised my blood pressure. So the doctors are like, well, we can 8 00:00:48.929 --> 00:00:51.960 give you matter of medicine for blood pressure. I'm like, how about I 9 00:00:52.119 --> 00:00:56.079 just not take either? I'll not take the blood pressure medicine and not take 10 00:00:56.119 --> 00:01:00.880 the ADHD medicine that makes the blood pressure high. Oh Yeah, you could 11 00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:03.670 do that. So, yeah, that's what I'm doing. But man, 12 00:01:03.870 --> 00:01:08.310 fucking Adhd. Dude, when you're trying to focus and in this case, 13 00:01:08.709 --> 00:01:15.549 like I'm trying to do, creative work, design like creative work. Imagine 14 00:01:15.549 --> 00:01:18.310 if you were, I guess, if you were, a comic and someone 15 00:01:18.390 --> 00:01:19.939 just came up to you and said, Hey, make up something funny right 16 00:01:19.980 --> 00:01:22.900 now, say a funny joke, make a new joke, like a new 17 00:01:22.939 --> 00:01:25.540 joke. That old joke. Make up something funny right now, make it 18 00:01:25.659 --> 00:01:30.180 good it. That's what it's like to be a designer sometimes on deadline. 19 00:01:30.219 --> 00:01:34.049 I like deadlines generally because you know, it's a great way to get things 20 00:01:34.090 --> 00:01:38.450 done. Use a calendar, I use a clock. I'm into calendars and 21 00:01:38.489 --> 00:01:44.409 clocks and maps. I like those things. But man, it's just anyway. 22 00:01:44.450 --> 00:01:48.840 The point is the ADHD is crippling. It's my number and it stops 23 00:01:48.879 --> 00:01:53.280 me in my tracks. I can't be creative in the spur of a moment 24 00:01:53.439 --> 00:02:00.920 sometimes, which you know that that puts pressure even more pressure, especially if 25 00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:02.989 you like that's how you get paid and you don't want to piss off the 26 00:02:04.030 --> 00:02:07.789 boss with a client or anybody like that. So then it kind of compounds. 27 00:02:07.870 --> 00:02:14.870 I had this problem back in grade school where I would cut class and 28 00:02:15.030 --> 00:02:19.819 go get high and I would cut the lamest class, the one I thought 29 00:02:19.860 --> 00:02:25.300 that was the Lamest at the time, which was Algebra. And in Algebra 30 00:02:25.500 --> 00:02:31.650 back in that grade, and I'm thinking it was like ninth grade in the 31 00:02:32.129 --> 00:02:36.330 S. I'm not sure kids today a pretty good at Algebra to younger age, 32 00:02:36.449 --> 00:02:40.849 seems, but in the s ninth grade Algebra like Algebra to it got 33 00:02:40.930 --> 00:02:45.960 complex. If you missed the day and your kind of high generally in high 34 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:50.719 school, and you come back the second day you're so fucking far behind. 35 00:02:51.639 --> 00:02:55.240 So it's much easier to cut the second day and then put it off another 36 00:02:55.240 --> 00:03:00.430 day. Oh, then it's the weekend or whatever, so it compounds. 37 00:03:00.509 --> 00:03:02.909 The anxiety builds. You don't want to show up for class. Then they're 38 00:03:02.949 --> 00:03:06.669 going to say something when you finally show up to class. took him like, 39 00:03:07.150 --> 00:03:08.909 Oh, where you been, and the whole thing. It's the same 40 00:03:09.069 --> 00:03:13.659 way with design work. You feel this pressure and pressure and pressure. The 41 00:03:13.740 --> 00:03:16.979 more days go by, the more they expect like a fucking Mona Lisa or 42 00:03:17.219 --> 00:03:22.780 something, and so you just got to do your best. Anyway. I 43 00:03:22.900 --> 00:03:27.930 had some projects I was do on Friday and then we lost power for a 44 00:03:28.050 --> 00:03:32.370 minute. That kind of fuck with my head and then I just spun out, 45 00:03:32.610 --> 00:03:37.770 like all weekend long. I didn't really get anything done except think about 46 00:03:37.770 --> 00:03:43.280 getting things done. I paste a lot, took a couple showers, rode 47 00:03:43.360 --> 00:03:49.840 my bike. Hmm, I think I made some cookies. Yeah, now 48 00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:53.479 I just couldn't get it together, couldn't like. I still have this it's 49 00:03:53.479 --> 00:03:59.669 almost cause a headache. It's not pain, but man, so my adhd 50 00:03:59.830 --> 00:04:04.870 gets so bad sometimes it feels like it's becoming mania, like, not quite 51 00:04:04.909 --> 00:04:09.710 to where you hear voices, but my can't focus on the thing. When 52 00:04:09.750 --> 00:04:12.659 I look straight and you shake your head left and right, back and forth 53 00:04:12.740 --> 00:04:15.980 real quick, like something out of a crazy Stanley Kubri to movie or something. 54 00:04:16.220 --> 00:04:21.139 Just a feel like a fucking Weirdo. Can't hold it together anyway. 55 00:04:21.220 --> 00:04:25.569 But I feel like, I guess happy generally. So as long as I'm 56 00:04:25.610 --> 00:04:29.250 not trying to focus and be creative for I don't even know how to say 57 00:04:29.250 --> 00:04:31.689 it, as long as I'm not working, I'm fine. But that's sometimes 58 00:04:31.769 --> 00:04:34.810 what it feels like. And I think a lot of the stress, though, 59 00:04:34.889 --> 00:04:39.279 comes from, like I was saying the other day, this sales job 60 00:04:39.319 --> 00:04:41.920 I'm working at hasn't paid me. So I have the stress of like what 61 00:04:42.079 --> 00:04:46.199 the Fuck, dude? On the flip side, I have another job coming 62 00:04:46.240 --> 00:04:49.959 up that starts in a little bit and there's tons of possibilities there. So 63 00:04:51.079 --> 00:04:54.430 the mania, folks, it's ugly. Head Up. This morning I'm just 64 00:04:54.509 --> 00:04:59.350 watching all kind of youtube how to videos and how this particular industry works and 65 00:04:59.389 --> 00:05:02.189 now this particular segment of the industry works and how to do it better. 66 00:05:02.230 --> 00:05:04.790 And Oh my God, I have so many great ideas. So I've got 67 00:05:04.829 --> 00:05:09.339 all those great ideas. They're on the left hand side. I'm stressing about 68 00:05:09.379 --> 00:05:14.339 money because the current job isn't paying me, and then the side job is 69 00:05:15.019 --> 00:05:17.579 just stressing me out because it's trying to be creative. I don't know. 70 00:05:17.660 --> 00:05:23.730 All those things kind of combined it once today and I finally broke through after 71 00:05:23.850 --> 00:05:27.569 dinner time. Drive you crazy when you feel that way. How I know 72 00:05:27.689 --> 00:05:30.250 you go through it too. I mean, not every day. We can't 73 00:05:30.290 --> 00:05:31.449 do it every day. I think if I do it too many days in 74 00:05:31.569 --> 00:05:35.199 a row, it really does become mania and I need to get myself to 75 00:05:35.319 --> 00:05:40.519 a psych ward. Here's this. Here's the thing, though. I don't 76 00:05:40.519 --> 00:05:44.040 want to go to a hospital or anywhere near a hospital, because are covered 77 00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:48.040 with Covid, nineteen germs, and especially where I am now, this particular 78 00:05:48.079 --> 00:05:53.709 city, it's a bunch of like rugged individualist that don't give a fuck about 79 00:05:53.750 --> 00:05:57.470 anybody else. So covid is running ramp in here. The hospital beds are 80 00:05:57.509 --> 00:06:01.430 all full up. So from my standpoint, I'm like, well, I 81 00:06:01.589 --> 00:06:06.180 would go to the hospital the sea kelp for my my mind, but I 82 00:06:06.259 --> 00:06:14.180 don't want to die trying. Not that. Okay. So here's the thing, 83 00:06:14.300 --> 00:06:17.180 right. I think I told you the other day I was checking out 84 00:06:17.850 --> 00:06:23.370 kinesiology and magnets. Shit, running magnets or the top of my head, 85 00:06:23.529 --> 00:06:28.290 trying to trying to get something to break loose. I don't I don't disregard 86 00:06:28.370 --> 00:06:31.769 that science. I don't think it's it applies in two thousand and twenty. 87 00:06:31.810 --> 00:06:34.360 We just don't have it all together. We don't know enough about it. 88 00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:43.959 What we did know the ancient astronaut kind of history. That's gone for now. 89 00:06:45.480 --> 00:06:48.189 But I think there's something to well, there's obviously something to magnets, 90 00:06:48.230 --> 00:06:54.629 to the MAGNA fucking controls the universe, right, but how does it control 91 00:06:54.750 --> 00:06:58.790 our mind? Don't know. So I found out about this other thing. 92 00:06:58.829 --> 00:07:01.500 Here's how I found out about it. Right, I was watching shark tank 93 00:07:01.579 --> 00:07:08.420 the other night and this dude comes on with this crazy head band, little 94 00:07:08.500 --> 00:07:13.699 metal band across us it and stimulates your brain or whatever. Typical kind of 95 00:07:13.779 --> 00:07:19.170 off the cuff shark tank invention. Well, I'm into this kind of stuff 96 00:07:19.170 --> 00:07:23.089 anyway. I just think it's neat. I look at it all the time. 97 00:07:23.170 --> 00:07:26.410 There's been a couple of things I've seen on the Internet before, but 98 00:07:26.490 --> 00:07:31.319 they look like they're from the S, like they're that kind of light yellowish 99 00:07:32.120 --> 00:07:38.199 gross color plastic with the is all fucked up there, and I'm like, 100 00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:41.839 Dude, this two thousand and twenty like get some industrial design and you might 101 00:07:41.879 --> 00:07:44.790 sell this. Anyway. It looks like the guy on Shark tank the other 102 00:07:44.829 --> 00:07:48.870 night got it together. He put together this thing with some some cooler industrial 103 00:07:48.910 --> 00:07:51.430 design. It's not something you're going to wear in public, of course, 104 00:07:51.790 --> 00:07:56.470 but it's not intended for that. And of course my favorite I don't know. 105 00:07:56.629 --> 00:08:00.459 My favorite shark, I think, is Kevin. Watched Shark tank for 106 00:08:00.500 --> 00:08:05.620 a long time, even dragons don from the UK, and I think Kevin 107 00:08:05.660 --> 00:08:09.300 over here is my favorite. He's subtle, like my favorite person on the 108 00:08:09.420 --> 00:08:16.370 simpsons is mow the bartender, and my favorite dude on shark tank is Kevin 109 00:08:16.970 --> 00:08:20.370 because he always sneaks in there with that little you know, I'd like to 110 00:08:20.410 --> 00:08:28.240 add on a two cent gratuity in perpetuity. But anyway, with this crazy 111 00:08:28.279 --> 00:08:33.879 electric headband. Of course, Mark Cuban hates what he considers junk science, 112 00:08:33.960 --> 00:08:37.000 he said, and they're reading the box. Of course the box has a 113 00:08:37.080 --> 00:08:41.350 disclaimer. This is not a medical device. Is that intended to cure anything? 114 00:08:41.669 --> 00:08:45.789 That it and of course mark is all over there. So what's it? 115 00:08:46.070 --> 00:08:48.789 What? What's IT for? What's the even the whole point? And 116 00:08:50.629 --> 00:08:54.470 the guy was kind of a presenter, the guy who invented it or something 117 00:08:54.269 --> 00:08:58.379 pretty agro, kind of really into it, like he's been studying it for 118 00:08:58.419 --> 00:09:01.779 a while. So he gets it and he doesn't. He's like, I 119 00:09:01.899 --> 00:09:03.460 get this way too sometimes, where I just know something and I forget that 120 00:09:03.539 --> 00:09:07.259 I have to back up about a hundred steps to explain it to a new 121 00:09:07.379 --> 00:09:11.450 person and I don't always have the patients and I come off like, you 122 00:09:11.570 --> 00:09:15.129 know, someone time to drink from a drinking fountain and instead they get a 123 00:09:15.210 --> 00:09:18.610 fire hose. That good thing. That's the way this presenter was to the 124 00:09:18.690 --> 00:09:24.320 Shark Tank and they threw him out on his ass. Anyway, I fucking 125 00:09:24.360 --> 00:09:26.600 look into this shit. I'm looking because I'm like, I like it. 126 00:09:26.679 --> 00:09:31.519 I look into this device and I find it, it turns out. So 127 00:09:31.600 --> 00:09:33.200 here's what it's called. This thing. I'm not gonna tell you what the 128 00:09:33.240 --> 00:09:39.070 name of the device is yet, but what it does is called t DCS 129 00:09:39.909 --> 00:09:46.710 that's transcranial direct current stimulation. Can you figure those words out? So transcranial 130 00:09:46.789 --> 00:09:52.980 means outside just goal. Direct current is electricity stimulation. So there's this device 131 00:09:52.059 --> 00:09:58.340 basically uses electricity on this headband through your skull to stimulate your brain. Apparently 132 00:09:58.580 --> 00:10:03.100 the study is work and it actually does work, as it was designed for 133 00:10:03.340 --> 00:10:09.850 people with major clinical depression, like especially long term, hard to cure a 134 00:10:09.929 --> 00:10:15.490 clinical depression. And I'm like, oh well, shit, this is this 135 00:10:15.570 --> 00:10:18.610 is more than magnets, because I can't find any anything like this on magnets. 136 00:10:20.049 --> 00:10:22.200 So we've got all kinds of studies here. I went to the company's 137 00:10:22.200 --> 00:10:28.759 website. They've got a Harvard scientist, neuroscientist, on the board, putting 138 00:10:28.799 --> 00:10:33.279 his face, his image and his identity with the product. So most doctors 139 00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:39.029 won't do things like that unless it's valid or they really believe in it or 140 00:10:39.070 --> 00:10:41.909 get paid a shit ton of money. I don't think there's a shit ton 141 00:10:41.950 --> 00:10:46.149 of money involved in this yet, but if it works, God bless America, 142 00:10:46.190 --> 00:10:50.740 it would be awesome. Of course. I'm me. I send an 143 00:10:50.820 --> 00:10:56.100 email to these people and say, Hmm, I will review your crazy headband 144 00:10:56.860 --> 00:11:01.340 on my daily podcast. I'm doing a podcast every day and that would give 145 00:11:01.340 --> 00:11:07.730 me something to do. And also I'm a perfect candidate because I've been diagnosed 146 00:11:07.730 --> 00:11:11.850 with bipolar disorder and none of the bipolar disorder medicines work. I've tried them 147 00:11:11.889 --> 00:11:18.330 all over fifteen years. They don't work. I don't mind the mania or 148 00:11:18.450 --> 00:11:22.720 the HYPO mania. I'm sorry, I don't mind the HYPO mania. I 149 00:11:22.879 --> 00:11:28.879 dislike the mania. I dislike the depression. If this little electric headband can 150 00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:33.429 help my depression, that's amazing right. So I invite you to stick around 151 00:11:33.830 --> 00:11:37.710 for the next well, it's November seventeen now, to probably be here on 152 00:11:37.750 --> 00:11:43.789 the twenty, so pretty much like from Thanksgiving and tell about Christmas every day. 153 00:11:43.269 --> 00:11:48.740 I'm going to do a podcast on the same day that I try twenty 154 00:11:48.779 --> 00:11:54.700 minutes of this transcranial direct current stimulation headband. So stick aroom for that. 155 00:11:54.860 --> 00:12:00.740 That was a cool upside thing that happened today. I'm not sure if how 156 00:12:00.820 --> 00:12:05.809 aware you are of Adhd or if you have it or whatever, but anyway, 157 00:12:05.929 --> 00:12:13.450 so the idea that helping adhd with speed or amphetamines is based on a 158 00:12:13.610 --> 00:12:18.159 cool concept that a doctor finally explains to me in a way I could explain 159 00:12:18.240 --> 00:12:24.279 to you. Imagine your brain is traffic at intersection right, back and forth 160 00:12:24.320 --> 00:12:28.360 and back and forth. There's a traffic cops and thoughts, feelings, data, 161 00:12:28.720 --> 00:12:33.590 logic, think too right, okay, all good, right. Well, 162 00:12:33.629 --> 00:12:39.629 in the adhd mind, the traffic cop there fell asleep and everything's just 163 00:12:39.750 --> 00:12:43.230 going through the intersection at all the ones any which way it wants to go. 164 00:12:45.700 --> 00:12:50.700 Amphetamine concert a riddling even adder. All other I don't think adderalls given 165 00:12:50.740 --> 00:12:54.620 as a treatment for adhd might be. I don't know. I'm a growing 166 00:12:54.620 --> 00:12:58.929 up. They don't give that grows for that. The Concerto is based on 167 00:12:58.009 --> 00:13:03.570 an amphetamine and it wakes that little traffic cop up. Traffic cops start sorting 168 00:13:03.610 --> 00:13:07.450 your thoughts, you can start seeing the future and you start feeling much more 169 00:13:07.769 --> 00:13:13.320 hopeful. So my idea that I talked with my therapist works and that if 170 00:13:13.399 --> 00:13:16.759 let's treat my Adhd, maybe it'll let a light shine at the end of 171 00:13:16.799 --> 00:13:20.519 the tunnel. I'll feel more hopeful and I'll naturally lift out of the depression. 172 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:26.190 Cool. That actually was working until the ADHD medicine gave me high blood 173 00:13:26.190 --> 00:13:30.750 pressure. So I said fuck it to both of them. Well, maybe 174 00:13:31.350 --> 00:13:35.309 this electoral I was going to call it electro shock. It's not electro shock. 175 00:13:35.870 --> 00:13:41.700 This transcranial direct current stimulation, this tdcs. Maybe this will also wake 176 00:13:41.740 --> 00:13:46.980 up the little traffic cop and help with my adhd. I sure hope so, 177 00:13:48.059 --> 00:13:52.740 because I'm feeling it bad this week and it could use some relief from 178 00:13:52.779 --> 00:13:56.129 the suffering. So, lastly, a shout out to aims. Thanks for 179 00:13:56.210 --> 00:14:03.809 checking in, aims. I really appreciate you and Bipolar Joe. Mr Bipolar 180 00:14:03.850 --> 00:14:09.009 Joe has a new podcast up. Appreciate you both and thank you for listening. 181 00:14:09.490 --> 00:14:18.759 It's nice to be heard. And now back to the wall.