Got Bipolar Style? Welcome to the Bipolar Party!

WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.080 --> 00:00:11.869 It's only and now it's online Bible this stylecom John Emotions with Bible style. 2 00:00:15.310 --> 00:00:19.269 Hey, what's up? This johnny emotions and this is another dog days of 3 00:00:19.309 --> 00:00:23.059 August podcast. However, this one is really special. My other show, 4 00:00:23.219 --> 00:00:28.739 bipolar style, started about a year ago and I put up a slack channel 5 00:00:28.780 --> 00:00:34.020 at Bipolar Partycom so that people who listen to the show could come in and 6 00:00:34.340 --> 00:00:38.130 share and just have a place off of facebook and twitter to talk to other 7 00:00:38.210 --> 00:00:43.649 people with similar mental conditions and what that's turned into. As also found some 8 00:00:43.810 --> 00:00:48.890 other podcasters and now we are going to do a little podcast set up similar 9 00:00:49.049 --> 00:00:54.320 to a dbsay meeting, which is the depression and bipolar support alliance, in 10 00:00:54.479 --> 00:00:57.079 which we sit in the group where there's only three of us here today, 11 00:00:57.560 --> 00:01:00.799 but the we've done it with larger groups, we just did not record them, 12 00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:04.670 and we're doing this kind of test to let people listen so that if 13 00:01:04.750 --> 00:01:08.390 you are into it, you can come visit us at Bipolar Party and maybe 14 00:01:08.469 --> 00:01:14.989 participate in another on upcoming group that's just like this, just recorded for the 15 00:01:15.069 --> 00:01:21.739 public to hear how people with bipolar disorders interact with each other. So that 16 00:01:21.939 --> 00:01:25.019 said, I said, there's two other people here with us. I will 17 00:01:25.060 --> 00:01:29.500 let them introduce themselves. Started on my left, Becky, once you go 18 00:01:29.700 --> 00:01:37.209 first. Hi, I'm becky and I have bipolar disorder and porderline personality disorder, 19 00:01:37.890 --> 00:01:44.969 and that's podcast. That's why I'm here. Yeah, I told Your 20 00:01:45.010 --> 00:01:48.239 podcast you because love I get lots of new listeners on these dog days of 21 00:01:48.359 --> 00:01:52.840 podcasting. So, on top of the John Emotion show you're listening to now, 22 00:01:53.359 --> 00:01:57.000 bipolar style, becky's got one to promote. Away. Becky's is your 23 00:01:57.040 --> 00:02:04.870 Chans. Totally. It's called that B word and we cover everything from mental 24 00:02:04.950 --> 00:02:10.389 health, from borderline personality disorder to bipolar disorder. Add lead. Had somebody 25 00:02:10.469 --> 00:02:17.580 with aspergers on recently and I have an upcoming episode about did. This is 26 00:02:17.659 --> 00:02:22.659 you have identity disorder. So it's going to be pretty cool. Wow, 27 00:02:22.780 --> 00:02:28.060 that's exciting. We talked about the disassociative thing in the slack channel. That's 28 00:02:28.099 --> 00:02:31.129 pretty amazing. Well, apparently a lot of us with bipolar disorder also feel 29 00:02:31.650 --> 00:02:37.490 the world hates us, maybe like borderline personality disorder type symptoms, and also 30 00:02:37.530 --> 00:02:39.650 the disassociation when you get so stressed out you don't even know who you are. 31 00:02:39.689 --> 00:02:45.240 You don't feel like you're you sometimes, so that's awesome, and sitting 32 00:02:45.280 --> 00:02:51.240 next to you. All right, this is Brian. I'm I also have 33 00:02:51.400 --> 00:02:57.479 bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. I don't have a podcasts but I am 34 00:02:57.599 --> 00:03:05.469 very active on the bipolar partycom. I'm the consider myself the misfit of the 35 00:03:05.590 --> 00:03:12.750 group. That's such a borderline thing to say. I know in Becky's mind 36 00:03:12.789 --> 00:03:15.500 she's all know I'm the MISFIT, and in my mind I'm like no, 37 00:03:15.659 --> 00:03:23.259 I'm definitely the misfits, but I don't know. I've what's that accent? 38 00:03:24.060 --> 00:03:29.129 Everyone here's the accent. Where is that really you hear my accent? I'm 39 00:03:29.490 --> 00:03:34.090 I'm from North I'm from North Carolina. It's I'm a red knet from North 40 00:03:34.169 --> 00:03:40.520 Carolina. White Trash. Trash is a little rough, but we appreciate you. 41 00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:45.599 I love the icon. I come straight for the trailer park. What 42 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:50.159 part of the country are you and Becky? I'm in Ohio, so kind 43 00:03:50.159 --> 00:03:53.240 of the middle of America. I'm on the left side in California. So 44 00:03:53.360 --> 00:03:58.669 we've got effectively three white people in America. We've got a left of middle 45 00:03:58.750 --> 00:04:01.949 and a right side of the country and kind of politically speaking, kind of 46 00:04:01.990 --> 00:04:06.629 similar to on the left, middle and right over there. So we don't 47 00:04:06.629 --> 00:04:11.139 talk about politics too much in our bipolar party. Just not what we're there 48 00:04:11.180 --> 00:04:15.219 for. We all, everybody has an opinion on that and that's not the 49 00:04:15.340 --> 00:04:17.620 normal way we're going to typically introduce people in Group. I just wanted to 50 00:04:18.060 --> 00:04:21.620 let these folks know because Brian also is going to start a podcast, like 51 00:04:21.819 --> 00:04:25.730 he's interested in it, and you could tell most people don't want to jump 52 00:04:25.769 --> 00:04:29.209 up on the MIC. He's already got his mic and his computer setup. 53 00:04:29.329 --> 00:04:32.529 So look forward to a podcast from him shortly. Yeah, I would expect 54 00:04:32.529 --> 00:04:38.129 it, would you think? I think so. I just need to organize 55 00:04:38.170 --> 00:04:46.319 my thoughts and make sure I have enough contact to put something out there that 56 00:04:46.759 --> 00:04:48.920 people would be interested in. Yeah, or do like I do, just 57 00:04:49.399 --> 00:04:57.029 talk even if people aren't interested. Also, it's the greatest thing ever join 58 00:04:57.189 --> 00:05:01.189 the party at bipolar PARTYCOM. Okay, so now let's pretend we're actually add 59 00:05:01.189 --> 00:05:04.910 a dbs a meeting. Brian, you've not actually been to one, Becky, 60 00:05:04.949 --> 00:05:09.259 you have Right, and I've been to the online okay. So, 61 00:05:09.500 --> 00:05:13.939 yeah, I'll play moderator and I don't have a script. We're not actually 62 00:05:13.980 --> 00:05:16.860 a DBSA affiliated group in any way, but they're the typically read a bunch 63 00:05:16.899 --> 00:05:19.579 of rules in the beginning of the group. The one thing that I think 64 00:05:19.620 --> 00:05:24.490 is important to reiterate on the podcast and to listeners. When you're in a 65 00:05:24.569 --> 00:05:27.529 group setting like this, we're not trying to fix the other person. I'm 66 00:05:27.529 --> 00:05:30.050 not trying to help you. I'm not a therapist, I'm not a professional, 67 00:05:30.050 --> 00:05:34.209 amout a doctor, etc. So when somebody shares their opinion, I'm 68 00:05:34.250 --> 00:05:39.720 the shares their perspective or shares their trouble. When we respond to them, 69 00:05:39.759 --> 00:05:43.879 we use what's called eye language, and I don't mean your eyeballs, I 70 00:05:44.040 --> 00:05:47.399 mean using the word I. So, for example, if if Joeys said 71 00:05:48.120 --> 00:05:50.949 I'm having a problem with my ex wife, she won't let me see the 72 00:05:50.990 --> 00:05:56.269 kids that at all, my response would not be have you done this? 73 00:05:56.750 --> 00:05:59.430 Have you tried this? Have you? Have you? Have you had you 74 00:05:59.470 --> 00:06:00.509 know what I mean. I'm not here to fix him. He's not. 75 00:06:00.589 --> 00:06:04.339 I'm not to grill that person. The way to respond in this kind of 76 00:06:04.379 --> 00:06:09.620 group setting is hey, joey, it was my experience when my wife didn't 77 00:06:09.620 --> 00:06:12.500 let me see my kids, that I did X, Y and Z. 78 00:06:13.019 --> 00:06:16.660 So when we say eye language. That's the best way to reply to a 79 00:06:16.740 --> 00:06:19.089 group. It's not as big of a deal with just three of us, 80 00:06:19.129 --> 00:06:21.930 but when there's ten of us it makes a big deal because everyone's trying to 81 00:06:23.329 --> 00:06:26.009 fix the person who just shared. It kind of gets out of control. 82 00:06:26.050 --> 00:06:30.370 Right. So let's introduce ourselves, not the long way, like the way 83 00:06:30.410 --> 00:06:31.769 we'd normally do in a group is like, hi, I'm John. I 84 00:06:31.850 --> 00:06:34.920 had a pretty good week. A scale of one to ten, I'd say 85 00:06:34.920 --> 00:06:39.519 it's about it, seven and a half, and I would like to share 86 00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:46.360 later. And then you go Becky, okay, Oh, and I got 87 00:06:46.399 --> 00:06:47.949 me now. So just you just say basically like what I said. You 88 00:06:47.990 --> 00:06:50.550 said, Hey, I'm Becky, I had a pretty good week or and 89 00:06:50.629 --> 00:06:55.430 then whether or not you want to share. Yeah, well, I'm becky 90 00:06:55.589 --> 00:07:01.139 and I've had a lot of ups and downs this week and I will probably 91 00:07:01.180 --> 00:07:10.259 share later. Probably. All right. Hi, I'm Brian and I I've 92 00:07:10.339 --> 00:07:14.899 had some ups and downs this week, because I don't really want to rate 93 00:07:15.100 --> 00:07:21.610 myself my week, but I'm going to share later. Okay, excellent. 94 00:07:21.769 --> 00:07:28.449 So it looks like we have three shares in today's group and unless somebody has 95 00:07:28.490 --> 00:07:32.000 an urgent share, we will start on my left and go clockwise. So, 96 00:07:32.920 --> 00:07:38.759 Becky, tell us what you like to share today. Well, it's 97 00:07:39.040 --> 00:07:47.910 just it's been a crazy week because my my mom has had started to have 98 00:07:47.990 --> 00:07:55.029 seizures and using the car accident, and so that kind of puts me in 99 00:07:55.149 --> 00:08:05.540 a difficult mindset. I guess I've been having trouble with suicidal thoughts and Ivigation 100 00:08:05.180 --> 00:08:11.220 and yeah, that's kind of what's been going on and I don't feel like 101 00:08:13.250 --> 00:08:18.089 there's been any I mean, there are people that I can tell and things, 102 00:08:18.250 --> 00:08:24.889 but I don't feel like I'm being heard. I guess I don't know, 103 00:08:28.839 --> 00:08:35.759 but you know, I'm safe, I'm not doing anything, but I 104 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:43.549 just don't know what to I don't to do about it. I have similar 105 00:08:43.710 --> 00:08:50.990 issues when my parents are in distress, because I'm not really sure what to 106 00:08:52.029 --> 00:08:54.740 do. I don't have the tools of the resources to help them. MMM. 107 00:08:54.940 --> 00:09:03.019 And it also brings life into perspectives like way, when they die, 108 00:09:03.539 --> 00:09:07.259 as much as they get on my nerves, I won't they won't be there 109 00:09:07.299 --> 00:09:09.169 to even help me, like I don't feel that they help me much now, 110 00:09:09.250 --> 00:09:11.250 but I'm sure they do. You know what I mean? I just 111 00:09:11.330 --> 00:09:16.090 not processing it properly or something. But yeah, when they're in distress it 112 00:09:16.250 --> 00:09:20.090 makes me feel helpless and hopeless. And once if yeah, what, I 113 00:09:20.129 --> 00:09:26.399 don't know the details of how how your mom's condition is making you feel. 114 00:09:26.919 --> 00:09:28.600 I just know, like one of my mom or my dad or in that 115 00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:35.120 state, I really just feel helpless. So I'm am sorry push you off 116 00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:39.830 to the suicidal ideation area, because that always sucks. Yeah, it does. 117 00:09:39.909 --> 00:09:46.549 It's it comes up a lot. Yeah, in my experience when I've 118 00:09:46.629 --> 00:09:56.980 had this suicidal I aviations, I it, Gosh, you just don't want 119 00:09:56.980 --> 00:10:03.059 to you don't you don't want to do anything. I mean you just want 120 00:10:03.100 --> 00:10:07.330 to lay in bad and salt. I guess I don't know if Salk's a 121 00:10:07.330 --> 00:10:13.090 right word, but so I know what you're going through. Becky. Thanks. 122 00:10:13.529 --> 00:10:18.929 I feel that when yeah, it's the I think it's the hopelessness that 123 00:10:20.210 --> 00:10:22.759 is that what it feels like to you. Is because a lot of times 124 00:10:22.799 --> 00:10:28.360 when I feel the suicidal ideation bit hmm or even yeah, it's more of 125 00:10:28.440 --> 00:10:31.480 a I don't want to kill myself, I just want everything to end. 126 00:10:31.879 --> 00:10:35.519 It just it. Sometimes things feel so hopeless it's like, what's the whole 127 00:10:35.600 --> 00:10:39.509 point? I'm so tired, I'm so exhausted. Can it just please stop? 128 00:10:39.269 --> 00:10:41.710 I'm wondering if there's a God, can you just take me out so 129 00:10:41.750 --> 00:10:46.990 I don't look like I killed myself? It's right so wanting to end this 130 00:10:46.230 --> 00:10:50.940 feeling more that. There's never like I want to punish them for the way 131 00:10:50.940 --> 00:10:54.100 they treated me, like the thirteen reasons why kind of bullshit set up on 132 00:10:54.179 --> 00:10:58.259 Netflix. That perspective, my suicidal idiation never looks like that. I would 133 00:10:58.299 --> 00:11:01.220 never blame somebody else for the way I feel. I feel the way I 134 00:11:01.299 --> 00:11:05.970 feel because I it's hopelessness. It's the way I've added up all the parts 135 00:11:05.129 --> 00:11:11.289 in my own head. That feels hopeless. And yes, and and as 136 00:11:11.330 --> 00:11:13.970 I just hope when people here that we talk about suicidal ideation a lot of 137 00:11:15.009 --> 00:11:18.639 times. From almost all the people I've talked to in the group, nobody 138 00:11:18.679 --> 00:11:22.559 ever wants to punish the living. Nobody. It's never a selfish move. 139 00:11:22.639 --> 00:11:26.200 It's like I'm it's hopeless. It's a you feel so vacant, so pointless, 140 00:11:26.279 --> 00:11:30.759 like I'm just taking up food. I'm just, you know, shitting 141 00:11:30.799 --> 00:11:33.070 up the river. I'm just, I'm a waste of life. Why I'm 142 00:11:33.070 --> 00:11:35.350 I even on the planet here? Let me help society by removing me from 143 00:11:35.350 --> 00:11:45.429 the equation. I know when I've been suicidal. Like you, hear these 144 00:11:45.470 --> 00:11:50.860 horror stories about get up hitch hikers, you know, and I actually pick 145 00:11:50.940 --> 00:11:56.220 up a hitch hiker one day, hoping in my in my head that he 146 00:11:56.340 --> 00:12:01.970 would do something to end it so I wouldn't have to do it myself. 147 00:12:03.009 --> 00:12:07.090 Yeah, I know that feeling. That's what you're talking about. Yeah, 148 00:12:07.090 --> 00:12:11.809 it's like putting yourself in dangerous situations. When I was in Los Angeles downtown, 149 00:12:11.850 --> 00:12:15.879 I used to go jogging through skid row and to the point where I 150 00:12:15.960 --> 00:12:18.120 was thinking I'm going to get some tshirts that likes a skid row jogging club 151 00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:20.960 or something like that. You know what I mean. But the whole idea 152 00:12:22.080 --> 00:12:24.000 was like I'm just running through skid row because maybe I might die here, 153 00:12:24.360 --> 00:12:28.679 like maybe, Oh, the white guy got killed in skid row. I 154 00:12:28.759 --> 00:12:33.230 don't want that story either, but I was wonder like why do why do 155 00:12:33.269 --> 00:12:37.590 we put ourselves in dangerous situations if we're not somewhat suicidal? Is it purely 156 00:12:37.629 --> 00:12:41.269 adrenaline? Is it is an adventure, or is it just trying to fight? 157 00:12:41.509 --> 00:12:45.179 Like you know how people cut themselves or or harm themselves or scratch themselves 158 00:12:45.899 --> 00:12:48.820 to feel like real, to feel if they're real. I wonder if we 159 00:12:48.860 --> 00:12:54.500 do the same things by putting ourselves in dangerous situations just to feel something besides 160 00:12:54.539 --> 00:12:58.129 hopelessness and emptiness. I think so. I think that's a lot of what 161 00:12:58.289 --> 00:13:01.529 it has to do with it. Maybe we should go to amusement parks more 162 00:13:01.570 --> 00:13:07.649 often or something. We should feel that void was something more uppet. That's 163 00:13:07.730 --> 00:13:13.399 why, that's why I and my mania and suicidal. I mean, I 164 00:13:13.519 --> 00:13:16.399 think you can have both the same time. For sure. I'm you know, 165 00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:20.720 I drive my car like a maniac and go a hundred and something miles 166 00:13:20.759 --> 00:13:24.799 per hour to see how fast I can go, just for the just for 167 00:13:24.879 --> 00:13:28.750 the kick of it. Yeah, you know right, and I feel the 168 00:13:28.789 --> 00:13:31.909 same way. I think I'm at my biggest danger to myself when I'm in 169 00:13:31.990 --> 00:13:35.710 a mixed state, because I have the depression enough to pull me down and 170 00:13:35.870 --> 00:13:41.740 make me think everything is hopeless, but I also have the manic energy to 171 00:13:41.059 --> 00:13:45.980 follow through, to like to go do something, to make something happen. 172 00:13:46.659 --> 00:13:50.419 Yeah, it's tough. I don't don't like to talk about too much because 173 00:13:50.419 --> 00:13:52.139 I don't have my own answers, even when I get to that situation because 174 00:13:52.259 --> 00:13:58.169 every every time I get to that point it's a different situation and for everybody, 175 00:13:58.210 --> 00:14:01.769 every human, it's a different situation. So it's hard to say like 176 00:14:01.929 --> 00:14:05.370 this is what will save your life the next time, because I don't, 177 00:14:05.490 --> 00:14:11.039 I don't honestly know. That sucks. Feeling today back you feeling better like 178 00:14:11.679 --> 00:14:16.799 now than even an hour ago? Yeah, I'm feeling okay today so far. 179 00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:20.080 Yeah, it's a really yeah, well, it's Saturday, though. 180 00:14:20.080 --> 00:14:22.840 That's always helpful because there's no pressure to work. I mean you could always 181 00:14:22.840 --> 00:14:26.669 UN find yourself a little bit, right, like you said, maybe go 182 00:14:26.750 --> 00:14:28.110 see a movie or something later. Yeah, I think going out and just 183 00:14:28.230 --> 00:14:31.830 something, kind of paradoxically, going out in something, something by myself. 184 00:14:31.870 --> 00:14:35.269 Yeah, yes, it's like meditating or just tell, you know, some 185 00:14:35.429 --> 00:14:39.299 me time, whatever they want to call it. Nice. Well, thanks 186 00:14:39.340 --> 00:14:46.100 for sharing now, B r. If something more sure, I'm sure. 187 00:14:46.379 --> 00:14:54.730 I I've been you know, my meds. I'm on a couple different meds 188 00:14:54.809 --> 00:15:01.250 that helped me with my depression. I don't know if is this the place 189 00:15:01.370 --> 00:15:05.370 to talk about meds? Fu Yeah, dude, people love talking about mad 190 00:15:05.490 --> 00:15:07.679 just the one connective thing when you say I'm on Sara Quell or I'm on 191 00:15:07.799 --> 00:15:13.159 the mittel. All of a sudden everybody that listens that has bipolar disorder instantly 192 00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:15.480 they're like, oh, yeah, I take that. You know what I 193 00:15:15.519 --> 00:15:20.039 mean. So by all means, talk about your meds. Well, I 194 00:15:20.200 --> 00:15:26.509 take Trintalics, which I don't know. I've heard it's an antipsychotic. I've 195 00:15:26.509 --> 00:15:33.269 also heard as an antidepressing. It could be used for both, but it 196 00:15:33.590 --> 00:15:41.340 was. It was helping, but it wasn't helping enough, and so they 197 00:15:41.460 --> 00:15:54.690 put me on a bill if I too and it made me emotionless and just 198 00:15:54.970 --> 00:16:03.649 this week my I've been noticing for a while, Becky, at this is 199 00:16:03.809 --> 00:16:10.120 kind of goes along with what your mom's going through. My Dad, my 200 00:16:10.240 --> 00:16:17.360 dad's mental stay has gone down and I'm gonna get I'm gonna get weeping now. 201 00:16:18.309 --> 00:16:29.190 And I live, I live with my dad and he I have to 202 00:16:29.309 --> 00:16:38.379 do everything for him and it's hard. It's hard to be dealing with bipolar 203 00:16:38.500 --> 00:16:44.340 disorder, borderline personality disorder and also had to be a care taker for an 204 00:16:44.379 --> 00:16:48.450 now the early person. So I call my brother, and I've called my 205 00:16:48.570 --> 00:16:52.690 brother a few times this week and just broke down crying because I don't I 206 00:16:52.889 --> 00:16:56.090 just don't know what to do and that's not something I normally do, is 207 00:16:56.250 --> 00:17:07.119 cry. But it's been it's been tough. Are you okay now? I 208 00:17:07.400 --> 00:17:11.799 don't mean like, are you okay today? Yeah, I feel a feel 209 00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:17.390 okay today. I feel I feel good talking about it. Yeah, it's 210 00:17:17.430 --> 00:17:18.910 weird when you hear two dudes talking about it. Like even the way I 211 00:17:18.990 --> 00:17:22.710 just said that, are you okay now? It almost sounds like are you 212 00:17:22.789 --> 00:17:25.509 done crying? Are you done? Let you know? I didn't need that. 213 00:17:25.630 --> 00:17:27.150 I didn't hear that. We don't sound like that now. We need 214 00:17:27.190 --> 00:17:33.380 to come like that. Okay, good man. That that's rough and I 215 00:17:33.460 --> 00:17:37.339 have the same situation. My share was going to be about also taking care 216 00:17:37.380 --> 00:17:38.859 of my dad, so I don't want to trudge too much on that on 217 00:17:38.980 --> 00:17:45.009 yours, but I definitely feel the pinch of being, quote unquote, the 218 00:17:45.089 --> 00:17:48.049 sick one in the family. But I'm in the middle now. I'm the 219 00:17:48.089 --> 00:17:52.490 Middle Age one. I have old parents now that need caring for and I 220 00:17:52.529 --> 00:17:57.490 also have kids now who still need caring for and there's nobody here to care 221 00:17:57.529 --> 00:18:00.960 for me and they're there. Hasn't been right. That's how I got to 222 00:18:02.119 --> 00:18:06.359 this place because nobody cared for me, and it's really troubling on many levels. 223 00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:10.519 Just physically. It's exhausting to try to care for somebody when I'm exhausted 224 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:15.029 myself due to depression or whatever's going on that day. I never feel appreciated 225 00:18:15.309 --> 00:18:19.430 because of the borderline maybe, or maybe because nobody really expresses the appreciation. 226 00:18:19.549 --> 00:18:22.430 It could be a little of both. The whole. You know, just 227 00:18:22.509 --> 00:18:26.710 because your paranoid doesn't mean people are not following you. It's the same thing 228 00:18:26.789 --> 00:18:30.180 with borderline. Just because I have borderline doesn't mean some people don't appreciate me. 229 00:18:30.339 --> 00:18:33.220 Doesn't mean some people don't actually hate me. That I found people that 230 00:18:33.339 --> 00:18:37.180 hate me and that don't appreciate me, and it's not the borderline. So 231 00:18:38.019 --> 00:18:42.569 and that's also troubling too, because the way we present ourselves, a lot 232 00:18:42.609 --> 00:18:45.930 of people just think, oh well, you're not sick, that's why you 233 00:18:45.089 --> 00:18:48.410 have to do all the work, that's why you're doing the care take and 234 00:18:48.490 --> 00:18:52.130 you're not sick. And like Motherfucker, how do you know how I feel? 235 00:18:52.849 --> 00:18:56.599 Right it's that and just putting on the John Suit, just trying to 236 00:18:56.640 --> 00:19:00.440 be me every day. That's fucking exhausting, so much so I really feel 237 00:19:00.519 --> 00:19:03.519 for you. Dude. I just and Youtube back. You have to deal 238 00:19:03.559 --> 00:19:12.230 with your parents that way. Where I right? I wanted to share to 239 00:19:15.349 --> 00:19:18.509 my abilify. They have to give it. Give it to me an injection 240 00:19:18.670 --> 00:19:22.549 I had about ten years ago. I had gasser bypass surgery and I lost 241 00:19:22.589 --> 00:19:34.099 a hundred fifty pounds and so it's been a struggle with meds because I don't, 242 00:19:34.420 --> 00:19:40.210 I don't, I don't absorb the meds like I used to, like 243 00:19:40.329 --> 00:19:47.730 I should. The way they the way they do, the way they used 244 00:19:47.769 --> 00:19:52.279 to do. The gas your bypass surgery is they they make your stomach really 245 00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:59.759 small and also shorten your intestines, and so that's how you absorb nutrients. 246 00:20:00.039 --> 00:20:08.269 So I'm bidermin deficient and I also am med deficient. So my Med's don't 247 00:20:08.349 --> 00:20:12.230 work as well as they would on a normal person. So they had to 248 00:20:12.309 --> 00:20:19.109 adjust my med so I take my meds multiple times a day instead of once 249 00:20:19.150 --> 00:20:26.420 a day. So that's just a little, you know, interesting tidbit of 250 00:20:26.859 --> 00:20:30.980 information. Yeah, it's another kick in the ASS. Right, let me 251 00:20:30.099 --> 00:20:33.140 just that one more thing. For people that don't have any kind of mental 252 00:20:33.180 --> 00:20:37.130 condition to realize that dude's got to take meds all the time. It's like 253 00:20:37.210 --> 00:20:40.529 a clock. You got the little pill box, you got all these things. 254 00:20:40.569 --> 00:20:44.210 Were like normal middle aged people. We shouldn't have to be on eight 255 00:20:44.250 --> 00:20:48.650 hundred pills, but yet if you want to stay functional, there's a whole 256 00:20:48.690 --> 00:20:51.960 regiment you got to go through. It's ridiculous. What's the true relics? 257 00:20:51.960 --> 00:20:56.799 I've never heard of that. Is that a different name? It's just got 258 00:20:56.880 --> 00:21:04.190 the brand name on the bottom on the bottle. So I don't I don't 259 00:21:04.190 --> 00:21:10.430 know. I know one of the person who takes it. I want to 260 00:21:10.430 --> 00:21:12.829 ask it my next group to that sounds interesting. I think that's one of 261 00:21:12.869 --> 00:21:15.710 the newer ones, like the one you're on. You're on vrail. Are 262 00:21:15.789 --> 00:21:18.099 Right Y, like, yeah, that's one of the new our ones too. 263 00:21:18.339 --> 00:21:22.619 Are you still like it and still on it? And I like it 264 00:21:22.779 --> 00:21:26.619 and everything? Where did they swapping for Lamittel or something else you used to 265 00:21:26.619 --> 00:21:30.380 be on? I did. Used to be on the MITTEL and I was 266 00:21:30.420 --> 00:21:33.210 not all of them for a while at the same time, but then I 267 00:21:33.049 --> 00:21:37.930 recently got off the limittel. Think on us. I don't feel like I 268 00:21:37.089 --> 00:21:40.730 was doing anything for me. Yeah, after a while I felt the same. 269 00:21:40.890 --> 00:21:44.930 Like most of the MED's eventually lose their efficacy on on me. I 270 00:21:45.009 --> 00:21:48.039 don't know if they ever worked or whatever, but yeah, it's not bad 271 00:21:48.119 --> 00:21:52.759 to change. I just do it under a doctor's care. Yeah, actually, 272 00:21:52.279 --> 00:21:56.400 I just looked it up. Trint Alex as is for. It's for 273 00:21:56.720 --> 00:22:00.559 it's a nat how to present. Oh, that's why I don't well, 274 00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:03.230 that's weird. They maybe it's one meant for Maatic people, because you know, 275 00:22:03.309 --> 00:22:08.150 they they rarely give antidepressant straight up, any depressants to bipolar because they 276 00:22:08.190 --> 00:22:15.549 say, well, I'm on that. Yeah, I'm on lithium to for 277 00:22:15.900 --> 00:22:19.779 looking intabilify. That's a whole other set of work right there too. Yeah, 278 00:22:19.900 --> 00:22:23.539 there's a lot of monitoring that goes involved with that. Right, you 279 00:22:23.619 --> 00:22:29.460 have to. You have to worry about your thyroid. This is the thing, 280 00:22:29.539 --> 00:22:33.650 you know, I was watching they I live a lot in downtown areas, 281 00:22:33.730 --> 00:22:37.170 tons of homeless people and I see how hard it is for them to 282 00:22:37.210 --> 00:22:40.009 be homeless, how much work they put out to be homeless, and the 283 00:22:40.089 --> 00:22:42.650 perception is homeless or lazy. But Man, these people go through so much 284 00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:48.119 work, physical labor, just to be homeless. Dragging your bags around everywhere 285 00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:51.319 all day, get kicked out, sleeping on hard cement, Dott a diet. 286 00:22:51.599 --> 00:22:53.319 Well, it's kind of the same way when you're sick. Like when 287 00:22:53.359 --> 00:22:56.960 people, when we have depression or something, people think, Oh, you 288 00:22:56.119 --> 00:22:59.549 just depressed, you just lay around all day. Well, Snow, listen 289 00:22:59.630 --> 00:23:02.430 to all the work we have to do. There's so much work involved right 290 00:23:02.470 --> 00:23:07.670 being sick, with scheduling appointments and fighting the bureaucracy and getting payments over to 291 00:23:07.710 --> 00:23:10.549 their and then, and then the pills. Oh, and then the pharmacy. 292 00:23:10.630 --> 00:23:12.140 Are they're out of it, are they? Don't? You know they 293 00:23:12.180 --> 00:23:17.380 don't support that pill anymore or things. It's always changing. You never have 294 00:23:17.500 --> 00:23:22.019 any peace, or I never did. It's well, you talk about taking 295 00:23:22.220 --> 00:23:25.779 taking pills multiple times of day. I actually have an APP on my phone 296 00:23:26.460 --> 00:23:33.490 that shoo shoots me a reminder. It's kind of annoying actually, but it 297 00:23:33.690 --> 00:23:37.490 gives me a reminder every time I have to take my medicine. Does it 298 00:23:37.529 --> 00:23:41.039 give you like a little gold coin? Che like a game? I should 299 00:23:41.079 --> 00:23:44.559 fill take it should game a five pill taking. I mean, if that's 300 00:23:44.599 --> 00:23:47.920 the will, people love Games. Yeah, so wouldn't hurt if you got 301 00:23:48.039 --> 00:23:51.880 little coins for it, right Hey, dude, you play fucking scrabble or 302 00:23:51.880 --> 00:23:55.440 anything like that? Do you play words with friends? I did, but 303 00:23:55.480 --> 00:23:59.869 I felt real dumb. So Wolf all right, because becky and I are 304 00:23:59.869 --> 00:24:03.750 always add it over there. Just probably beat me at most of the time 305 00:24:03.869 --> 00:24:07.269 to buy see one. Like every game will get one lucky word. That's 306 00:24:07.269 --> 00:24:11.140 all it takes is one lucky word and that's all it takes with anybody. 307 00:24:11.140 --> 00:24:15.220 But I'm not always the one who gets the lucky word. I'm probably the 308 00:24:15.299 --> 00:24:21.740 least competitive person you you'll meet. Like, I'd rather as Ather. What's 309 00:24:21.740 --> 00:24:25.369 your sign, dude? When you're born, I'm a verger. Well, 310 00:24:25.490 --> 00:24:29.130 yes, okay, I see that. He'll do it. I'm an aries. 311 00:24:29.170 --> 00:24:30.730 I'm like, I can't not compete. I'm like, just keep going 312 00:24:33.250 --> 00:24:37.130 and Leah. So that explains it. Yeah, Leo's the same way. 313 00:24:37.170 --> 00:24:41.680 All My best friends are Leo's and my son's Leio. My son was born 314 00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:44.519 on my wife's birthday, so my wife was a Leo when I was married. 315 00:24:44.519 --> 00:24:48.559 Leo's. See, the reason I get along with Leo's is because areas 316 00:24:48.559 --> 00:24:53.750 are one of the few signs that can tolerate Leo's. But their fight the 317 00:24:53.789 --> 00:24:57.789 fire sign to right during first signs. Yeah, we're just more nuts, 318 00:24:57.950 --> 00:25:03.269 but in Leo's we everyone lets Leos think they're in charge of everything, and 319 00:25:03.430 --> 00:25:07.980 Leo's are happy with that because they actually think they're in charge of everything and 320 00:25:07.940 --> 00:25:11.380 the rest of the world's like that's just a Leo. Just let him think 321 00:25:11.380 --> 00:25:17.140 they're in charge of everything. He thinks this, ha ha, that's funny. 322 00:25:17.259 --> 00:25:19.059 Now I mean literally. I mean best friend in high school, best 323 00:25:19.140 --> 00:25:25.809 friend now, ex wife and first son. That's four Leos surrounded by him. 324 00:25:25.849 --> 00:25:26.890 Oh, my best friend that I grew up with like in my set, 325 00:25:26.930 --> 00:25:30.130 in my s too, he was a Leo also. Yeah, it 326 00:25:30.210 --> 00:25:33.369 was amazing how many Leo's that are just surrounded with them. It's because they're 327 00:25:33.369 --> 00:25:37.279 awesome. Well, it's it's because nobody else will hang out with them. 328 00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:42.559 That's what hey, but nobody else will hang out with me either. So 329 00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:47.720 that's kind of the thing. There's the only thing worse than Leo's like the 330 00:25:47.799 --> 00:25:52.190 areas that's like fuck that guy. Whatever. Okay, I'm going to share 331 00:25:52.309 --> 00:25:55.950 to before get we get too long here. Okay, did you get enough 332 00:25:55.950 --> 00:26:00.029 out, Brian? Yeah, so, and then the moderator comes around back 333 00:26:00.109 --> 00:26:04.180 to me and like okay, John, so all right. Well, I 334 00:26:04.259 --> 00:26:10.259 had this issue again with my dad, and I don't say again with my 335 00:26:10.299 --> 00:26:11.259 dad. Don't have like a lot of issues with him, but, like 336 00:26:11.619 --> 00:26:18.539 like Brian and Becky, Dad mom isss you. So my dad has been 337 00:26:18.849 --> 00:26:23.289 care taking this property up at Lake Tahoe for years. Nice property is beautiful, 338 00:26:23.329 --> 00:26:26.650 right on the lakes. Anytime I want to go get away from the 339 00:26:26.690 --> 00:26:30.130 city, I go there. It's free. I love it and he loves 340 00:26:30.130 --> 00:26:33.799 it. He's a retired x cop, x vet kind of Guy Living on 341 00:26:33.920 --> 00:26:38.599 a fixed income. Well, he loves it there. And the guy he 342 00:26:38.680 --> 00:26:42.359 care takes from his super old, like in his nine s and about to 343 00:26:42.440 --> 00:26:45.240 die. So, my dad, you got to figure out something to do. 344 00:26:47.710 --> 00:26:49.829 You can't just wait until life happens to you. Should be proactive and 345 00:26:51.309 --> 00:26:53.470 make a plan, because he's going to die, they're going to sell the 346 00:26:53.549 --> 00:26:56.869 property and you're going to have to move. And his whole thing was like, 347 00:26:57.309 --> 00:27:00.910 oh no, maybe they'll keep me on as a caretaker and at it. 348 00:27:00.950 --> 00:27:02.660 I'm like, Dude, they're not even going to keep the property like 349 00:27:02.740 --> 00:27:04.380 this. If somebody buys this is going to get flattened and they're going to 350 00:27:04.420 --> 00:27:07.940 build a condos here. Get Real, like you're older than me, you 351 00:27:07.980 --> 00:27:11.660 should know this. If how do I know it and you don't? Anyway, 352 00:27:12.140 --> 00:27:15.329 he ignores it. Sure enough, they sell the property. He's got 353 00:27:15.450 --> 00:27:19.170 a move by the end of September. That this just happened this week right, 354 00:27:19.849 --> 00:27:23.210 like told you. So fortunately, I had him come to the city 355 00:27:25.250 --> 00:27:27.049 a couple weeks back and show them I have a spare bedroom. I'm like, 356 00:27:27.130 --> 00:27:30.079 you can stay here, I run the hotel. I could hook you 357 00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:33.880 up with a with the room. You know, it's like a hotel you 358 00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:37.240 can live in. So I can actually hook him up whatever. He's like, 359 00:27:37.319 --> 00:27:41.759 Nah, I can't. Citi's not really for me, as I get 360 00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:45.509 it, because it's fucking grimy. You know, he lives in a beautiful, 361 00:27:45.549 --> 00:27:51.950 Pristine Lake in the forest and I offered him an apartment near Satan's asshole. 362 00:27:52.109 --> 00:27:56.190 It's just totally different worlds, I get it. HMM, so he 363 00:27:56.269 --> 00:28:00.019 doesn't like this idea. Now he's getting kicked out. So I get this 364 00:28:00.220 --> 00:28:04.779 long you know, those emails from your parents are like super long paragraphs, 365 00:28:04.819 --> 00:28:08.579 about five of them stacked up. Email like Oh, here it is, 366 00:28:08.779 --> 00:28:14.130 here's the email, and it's so he's basically running down his plans. Well, 367 00:28:14.210 --> 00:28:17.730 he's going to get rid of some stuff and go store some stuff there, 368 00:28:17.849 --> 00:28:21.930 and then he used this really bizarre term. Then I may go mobile, 369 00:28:22.650 --> 00:28:26.369 right. HMM. All right, so I don't know what going mobile 370 00:28:26.450 --> 00:28:30.319 to you means, because I have different terms, like couch surfing. To 371 00:28:30.359 --> 00:28:34.759 me would be staying at a friend's house and then maybe in another house or 372 00:28:34.839 --> 00:28:38.759 whatever it's. ME, going mobile means living in your car. What do 373 00:28:38.799 --> 00:28:45.029 you think? Maybe where our V or something like that? That's what I 374 00:28:45.109 --> 00:28:48.349 was thinking, an RV, right. But since he doesn't have any of 375 00:28:48.430 --> 00:28:52.589 those things, I'm like how, what is this mean? But you know 376 00:28:52.630 --> 00:28:57.180 what he does have is he has my fucking suburban up there and Tahoe, 377 00:28:57.299 --> 00:29:00.660 because I don't park it in San Francisco because it's three hundred fifty dollars a 378 00:29:00.740 --> 00:29:03.980 month to park. So I don't need it. I ride the subway, 379 00:29:04.099 --> 00:29:07.019 in the bus, in the lift and everything. I keep my suburban up 380 00:29:07.019 --> 00:29:11.690 until home. In this email he's talking about selling his old beat up pickup 381 00:29:11.769 --> 00:29:17.690 truck and going mobile and and I'm becoming incensed as I'm reading this email. 382 00:29:17.769 --> 00:29:22.289 Unlike, am I overreacting, or is this fucking guy talking about taking my 383 00:29:22.490 --> 00:29:25.680 new truck? I just bought and I'm OCD. I don't like anything in 384 00:29:26.119 --> 00:29:29.160 my truck. I like it clean. I don't want I don't even want 385 00:29:29.160 --> 00:29:32.359 anything in the glove compartment. I just fucking super OCD. I'm like, 386 00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:34.759 I even took all the badges off the truck. It just simple, right 387 00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:37.950 clean. I don't want to buy fucking in it. I want to buy 388 00:29:37.990 --> 00:29:42.670 fucking living in it. Nothing like that. And when I get this email, 389 00:29:42.670 --> 00:29:48.109 it's under my skin now. I'm like, just fucking guy assuming he's 390 00:29:48.109 --> 00:29:51.269 just going to take my truck and go live in it. Like, what 391 00:29:51.509 --> 00:29:59.700 the fuck is this? So I'm just wondering if my feelings are valleys and, 392 00:29:59.779 --> 00:30:03.859 if so, how much, or if you would react differently. I 393 00:30:04.019 --> 00:30:11.650 would, you know, I think that I would probably be, maybe not 394 00:30:11.769 --> 00:30:17.130 quite as incensed, but perturbed if somebody just assume that you're going to take 395 00:30:17.210 --> 00:30:21.559 my stuff and he's it for their own devices. You know what I mean? 396 00:30:22.039 --> 00:30:23.839 Right? That, I can see, you know, I can see 397 00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:27.160 the point in there. And again the dynamic. Remember, I'm the sick 398 00:30:27.279 --> 00:30:34.240 one. I'm like, people should be helping me, and now I've saved 399 00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:37.589 the money. took me fucking forever to because I don't buy things on cred 400 00:30:37.670 --> 00:30:42.069 I saved like thousands and thousands of dollars and bought the truck out right. 401 00:30:44.349 --> 00:30:45.589 And what? I'm just going to let it sit there and he's going to 402 00:30:45.710 --> 00:30:51.299 deteriorate it by living in it. Would you have done anything differently, Brian, 403 00:30:51.380 --> 00:30:56.859 or like? How would you respond? Um, I think that I 404 00:30:57.019 --> 00:31:07.890 would say something to him, offer to sell it to him. Just say, 405 00:31:07.930 --> 00:31:15.369 Dad, you know, the title is in my name. If you 406 00:31:15.490 --> 00:31:22.240 want to buy it from me, we can transfer the title. I have 407 00:31:22.359 --> 00:31:29.400 a problem with being passive aggressive, right, and so I would I would 408 00:31:29.440 --> 00:31:33.789 try to make a conscious effort not to be passive aggressive. Okay, here, 409 00:31:33.869 --> 00:31:36.869 well, I'll tell you how I reacted and we'll see if it was 410 00:31:36.950 --> 00:31:41.029 right. Because, yeah, it I don't know. I'm tired of being 411 00:31:41.069 --> 00:31:45.910 taken advantage of. I'm over it. I'm like past that chapter of my 412 00:31:45.990 --> 00:31:49.420 life. So I just send him a quick email, because he can. 413 00:31:49.619 --> 00:31:52.619 He conveyed this to me in an email, so I always feel it's fair 414 00:31:52.700 --> 00:31:56.140 just to communicate in the same medium back. You know what I mean, 415 00:31:56.660 --> 00:32:00.059 m so I just send him a quick email, I said, because he 416 00:32:00.690 --> 00:32:07.450 outlined his plans and I said that's all great, period let's not make any 417 00:32:07.450 --> 00:32:10.369 assumptions about my truck. I like it empty and clean. It's not for 418 00:32:10.529 --> 00:32:15.640 living in period. That's it. Sent them the email. Seem reasonable? 419 00:32:16.440 --> 00:32:20.880 Yes, I think so. It turned out to be reasonable. Apparently he 420 00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:22.599 send it back. Oh Yeah, I understand about your truck. That's fine, 421 00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:27.079 I didn't plan on living in it. So maybe you know. Maybe 422 00:32:27.160 --> 00:32:30.910 he thinks mobile is couch surfing. Maybe his I'm going mobile is couch surfing. 423 00:32:31.630 --> 00:32:35.670 Maybe we just use different words. So I just want to share that. 424 00:32:35.869 --> 00:32:39.230 Like, even though I kind of feel like I overreacted, it was 425 00:32:39.430 --> 00:32:44.500 only in my head. The overreaction was in my head. The part that 426 00:32:44.740 --> 00:32:49.180 eventually came out filtered turned out to be the right words. Like I said, 427 00:32:49.220 --> 00:32:54.099 don't be passive aggressive. Just address it directly and I did the best 428 00:32:54.099 --> 00:32:58.299 I couldn't worked out okay, so we'll see. I'm not sure what to 429 00:32:58.339 --> 00:33:05.089 do with favor now. Maybe maybe his idea of going mobile is to move 430 00:33:05.170 --> 00:33:07.490 into a mobile home. Yeah, well, he's waiting for some vet housing 431 00:33:07.529 --> 00:33:09.769 to open up up there in the mountains where he lives, and that he 432 00:33:09.809 --> 00:33:14.559 has options. They're just not he's not sure of the time frame. God, 433 00:33:14.839 --> 00:33:19.880 I don't think I would have wanted to lead. Yeah, it's there's 434 00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:21.880 no work there. I'm a I'd like to do things. I like to 435 00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:24.680 engage with people and work on projects and there's nothing to do. You want 436 00:33:24.759 --> 00:33:30.269 build the camp fire? Okay, done, that's yeah, that's the project. 437 00:33:30.109 --> 00:33:35.549 It's pretty funny. Yeah, but I guess is that the presumptuousness of 438 00:33:36.230 --> 00:33:39.509 or the way he said it? I don't know. Anyway. So that 439 00:33:39.670 --> 00:33:43.220 was that. That was my big thing of the week. I had other 440 00:33:43.299 --> 00:33:45.980 ones, but I'm over it. I was the ones that with the family, 441 00:33:45.019 --> 00:33:49.380 always hit me the hardest and the closest ecent. It really. Yeah, 442 00:33:49.579 --> 00:33:52.539 so sensitive about that stuff, because the thing is, like, I 443 00:33:52.660 --> 00:33:53.980 know he doesn't have any extra money. If I offered to sell it to 444 00:33:54.019 --> 00:33:57.970 him, he couldn't. Baybe there's no money for he can't buy it from 445 00:33:57.970 --> 00:34:01.170 me. The Best I could offer to do is like sell it and give 446 00:34:01.210 --> 00:34:05.250 him some money. Just straight up here, have some money, go buy 447 00:34:05.329 --> 00:34:07.449 what you can with that money, and I'm going to buy something to use 448 00:34:07.489 --> 00:34:10.480 in the city or whatever. Bright and then I'm like, well, why 449 00:34:10.679 --> 00:34:15.280 should I do that? I don't know. And then I started thinking, 450 00:34:15.280 --> 00:34:16.199 Oh, I don't even need a truck. anyways, when I just sell 451 00:34:16.239 --> 00:34:20.400 it and buy a Badass computer and some more podcasting gear. So I mean, 452 00:34:20.440 --> 00:34:22.119 I can buy a lot of stuff, but I like yeah, and 453 00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:24.389 then my dad's a whole. No, no, we need the truck. 454 00:34:24.550 --> 00:34:27.949 And am I? Who is we, motherfucker? You're up there driving it 455 00:34:27.989 --> 00:34:31.110 around. I'm never in it. But I don't want to be a dad. 456 00:34:31.230 --> 00:34:34.389 That's what it all just all gets down to. I just don't want 457 00:34:34.429 --> 00:34:36.949 to be Dick. He's like, it's my dad's like, well, why 458 00:34:36.989 --> 00:34:38.059 don't you help you dad? I'm like, I'm helping him as much as 459 00:34:38.059 --> 00:34:40.619 I can. I gave him a nice truck to use over the winter time, 460 00:34:40.739 --> 00:34:45.579 and that a dad. But just just because you give somebody something doesn't 461 00:34:45.579 --> 00:34:50.019 mean that they can keep taking and I felt like it was leaning towards that. 462 00:34:50.139 --> 00:34:53.409 Situation. is becoming a slippery slope and I'm glad I nipped it in 463 00:34:53.489 --> 00:35:00.170 the bud succinctly and without blown a fuse too much. Yeah, anyway. 464 00:35:00.210 --> 00:35:06.889 So that is how a group works, and thanks for Becky and Brian. 465 00:35:07.010 --> 00:35:12.400 Thanks you guys for making it seem real and sharing your real things. Thank 466 00:35:12.440 --> 00:35:15.920 you. Yeah, here are hosting and everything, and so remember, for 467 00:35:16.039 --> 00:35:22.590 anybody listening still to the days of podcasting, go search out that B word. 468 00:35:22.989 --> 00:35:28.190 It's a podcast with Becky from Ohio. Let's me, yeah, talking 469 00:35:28.230 --> 00:35:34.110 about borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder and all of the other connective tissues, 470 00:35:35.070 --> 00:35:38.619 and shortly we'll hear from Brian in North Carolina when we get him on his 471 00:35:38.739 --> 00:35:42.940 own podcast as well. In the meantime, you can meet up with all 472 00:35:42.980 --> 00:35:47.260 of us at bipolar PARTYCOM. Just type that into your browser, you'll see 473 00:35:47.260 --> 00:35:53.050 a place to request a link and then you can go download the slack software 474 00:35:53.050 --> 00:35:57.809 or APP or whatnot and hang out with us. It's basically a safe place 475 00:35:57.849 --> 00:36:01.889 for us to share and commiserates and you could see and you could see the 476 00:36:01.969 --> 00:36:05.840 misfits and action. Yeah, yeah, you can. You can hang out 477 00:36:05.880 --> 00:36:07.880 with all of us who feel like we don't fit in with the rest of 478 00:36:07.960 --> 00:36:12.559 the world because of our borderline personality disorder. But if you feel that way, 479 00:36:12.559 --> 00:36:15.360 then check it out. Maybe you maybe you have a personality disorder and 480 00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:19.510 he just didn't know it. We're happy to walk you through those things and 481 00:36:19.909 --> 00:36:23.949 welcome you aboard to your newfound knowledge. All right, guys. Well, 482 00:36:23.989 --> 00:36:29.150 have an awesome Saturday. I appreciate your time. From San Francisco, I'm 483 00:36:29.150 --> 00:36:37.860 Johnny Emotions and we will see you next time. Styles on I cheese follow. 484 00:36:40.460 --> 00:36:42.139 Excuse me