Faking a future/ When you had no intention/ Wasted time now gone

WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.880 --> 00:00:04.679 Hey, what's up? It's Friday at the emo do Jo, Friday December 2 00:00:04.719 --> 00:00:14.429 fourth and I'm Johnny notions. I read about something I hadn't heard of called 3 00:00:14.869 --> 00:00:21.660 future faking. Apparently this is a tactic similar to the silent treatment or gas 4 00:00:21.780 --> 00:00:29.500 lighting or things like that that unstable people use to control others. Well, 5 00:00:29.660 --> 00:00:34.140 this idea of future faking, I thought about it. I read the symptoms 6 00:00:34.219 --> 00:00:41.969 of it and how it works pretty straightforward. You basically promised somebody else a 7 00:00:42.049 --> 00:00:47.210 future that you never intend to provide, and all done with the intent of 8 00:00:47.289 --> 00:00:53.759 trying to control you for their personal gain. So, whether it's like you 9 00:00:53.880 --> 00:01:00.280 want companionship, you would convince me to like go to Louisiana and help fix 10 00:01:00.359 --> 00:01:04.230 the houses, right, but really there was no intention to ever fix the 11 00:01:04.310 --> 00:01:14.390 houses, or you let's go to Oklahoma and start a dispensary, when there's 12 00:01:14.430 --> 00:01:19.060 never actually no true intention to start a dispensary. It's just trying to control 13 00:01:19.219 --> 00:01:25.299 me, like providing the idea of a future that will never actually happen. 14 00:01:25.859 --> 00:01:32.500 Or when I came across this last boss, you know the the business he 15 00:01:32.659 --> 00:01:38.329 was running is just untenable. So to draw somebody else into that and promised 16 00:01:38.370 --> 00:01:42.489 them well, like a paycheck on time or anything like that. That's bullshit 17 00:01:42.609 --> 00:01:45.010 too. Anyway, I just kind of cracked, I snapped. I read 18 00:01:45.049 --> 00:01:48.159 about that term and I thought about it and then I went and dealt with 19 00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:53.879 that all the previous boss and a couple of other situations and with both friends 20 00:01:53.959 --> 00:01:57.719 and family. I just kind of lost it. You know, it reminded 21 00:01:57.760 --> 00:02:02.109 me of that movie me, myself and Irene, with Jim Carrey. There's 22 00:02:02.109 --> 00:02:08.830 a scene where it just fucking finally loses it and it's it from the for 23 00:02:08.990 --> 00:02:13.509 the from that point in the movie he switches back and forth between his old 24 00:02:13.590 --> 00:02:19.300 self and his new self. It's a movie about split personality, which I 25 00:02:19.539 --> 00:02:23.979 don't have, but I definitely feel that that intense like something's fucking snapped. 26 00:02:25.219 --> 00:02:30.930 Just a fucking over it. I have a life to live and I can't 27 00:02:30.969 --> 00:02:37.289 be surrounded by a bunch of like flying monkeys doing the bidding of other narcissists. 28 00:02:38.569 --> 00:02:42.930 I under stand it. If you're around a narcissist you get sick, 29 00:02:43.370 --> 00:02:46.319 but if you're aware of your sickness, you have the choice to get help 30 00:02:46.439 --> 00:02:52.080 or not, and if you decline to get yourself help, there's not much 31 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:55.639 other people can do to help. You're just stuck in it and it's that's 32 00:02:55.639 --> 00:02:59.590 similar with many other mental illnesses, as of course, you listen to me 33 00:02:59.710 --> 00:03:04.990 complain that I get stuck in my own but one of them is not narcissistic 34 00:03:05.069 --> 00:03:07.590 personality disorder. I always feared I was going to have that because I was 35 00:03:07.710 --> 00:03:12.860 raised in that environment. So I, you know, saw therapist and I 36 00:03:12.900 --> 00:03:16.139 went to psychiatrist and I had different types of therapy to talk my way around 37 00:03:16.180 --> 00:03:22.139 and through my traumas, and turned out that's not one of the things I 38 00:03:22.219 --> 00:03:24.139 have. I'm just obnoxious and I like to hear my own voice. But 39 00:03:24.259 --> 00:03:29.090 that's the a lot of people hear the term narcissist and they think of someone 40 00:03:29.169 --> 00:03:31.409 staring into a mirror, much like the Greek myth, you know, of 41 00:03:31.449 --> 00:03:37.129 narcissist just peering into the lake forevermore, which is why the flowers called that 42 00:03:37.330 --> 00:03:42.639 the whole thing. Anyway, whoever was the clever psychologist on the team that 43 00:03:42.759 --> 00:03:47.919 named narcissistic personality disorder, that kind of fucked it up, because it's far 44 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:53.000 more insidious and damaging than a flower peering into a lake at its reflection. 45 00:03:53.840 --> 00:03:58.349 But once I snapped, I realized that some of the people I was upset 46 00:03:58.389 --> 00:04:00.990 with, if and that had upset me, are simply sick and don't know 47 00:04:01.150 --> 00:04:06.669 yet how to get themselves healed. So I'm not going to be angry at 48 00:04:06.789 --> 00:04:12.699 any of those folks. They're just they're on their own as far as getting 49 00:04:12.740 --> 00:04:15.860 help because they have something that I can't help with. I'm not equipped to 50 00:04:16.060 --> 00:04:24.529 unwind somebody's narcissistic abuse or damage or trauma from it. So I feel kind 51 00:04:24.569 --> 00:04:27.610 of a big burden lifted off my shoulders now that I realized, now that 52 00:04:28.170 --> 00:04:31.970 came to fruition like what I had kind of felt. But nobody talks to 53 00:04:32.009 --> 00:04:34.649 me about things, so I don't know. I don't know what words, 54 00:04:35.290 --> 00:04:39.560 but you can just kind of feel vibes. If people get given off shitty 55 00:04:39.560 --> 00:04:42.600 vibes, that's not hard to do and you know, if you can't get 56 00:04:42.600 --> 00:04:44.399 to the bottom of it, you can't get to the bottom of it. 57 00:04:44.600 --> 00:04:49.240 But once in a while something will happen that provides insight into the bottom of 58 00:04:49.279 --> 00:04:53.189 it and it's like, Aha, I was fucking right all along, I've 59 00:04:53.269 --> 00:04:56.949 been deceived all this time. fucking great, you know, I'm mad for 60 00:04:56.990 --> 00:04:59.509 a little bit, but I get over being mad at it's I don't get 61 00:04:59.550 --> 00:05:02.589 over being sad or hurt as much, but if I'm mad, fuck it. 62 00:05:03.269 --> 00:05:06.459 I don't time to be mad. I'm working on something. So at 63 00:05:06.500 --> 00:05:11.819 this moment, right the second, I'm neither sad nor mad. I'm a 64 00:05:11.860 --> 00:05:17.220 bit uppitty, a little agitated, an Ay bad. I'll take agitated it 65 00:05:17.259 --> 00:05:25.250 over depressed or despondent or hopeless or pissed off. So yeah, I'm just 66 00:05:25.329 --> 00:05:28.649 trying to take a different outlook, trying to go opposite day. Whatever I'm 67 00:05:28.649 --> 00:05:31.209 thinking in my head, I'm trying to flip it on the opposite and think, 68 00:05:31.850 --> 00:05:35.120 what if it's different than I think it is right now? That's not 69 00:05:35.319 --> 00:05:41.399 to say I'm going to dismiss my intuition. I wholeheartedly trust my gut. 70 00:05:41.639 --> 00:05:46.920 My Gut has never been wrong. It's The Times where I've suppressed my guts, 71 00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:50.990 intuition telling me what was right or wrong. Sometimes I've suppressed that for 72 00:05:51.110 --> 00:05:56.430 months or years, only to be proven right later, which kind of makes 73 00:05:56.430 --> 00:05:59.269 you wonder, was it a self fulfilling prophecy? Like did you get telling 74 00:05:59.350 --> 00:06:01.269 you it was going to happen? Make It happen? I'm open to that 75 00:06:01.350 --> 00:06:05.459 philosophy. Or that conversation. But in hindsight, Nope, my gut was 76 00:06:05.500 --> 00:06:13.180 right every single time, God damn it, and I didn't trust it. 77 00:06:14.180 --> 00:06:17.970 So I'll trust it more moving forward, pick up the pieces and keep going. 78 00:06:18.129 --> 00:06:21.569 You know, I came here for a mission. I'm on my mission. 79 00:06:21.730 --> 00:06:26.170 I'm going to stick it through. Not A quitter, not stopping, 80 00:06:27.009 --> 00:06:30.610 and I hope that serves maybe as an example for you. If you thinking 81 00:06:30.649 --> 00:06:33.480 about quitting or stopping, something or someone was fucking with your life, fuck 82 00:06:33.519 --> 00:06:38.399 it. Yeah, give it some time. He'll keep going. If you 83 00:06:38.519 --> 00:06:44.720 started on a thing, there was a reason for it, and just remember 84 00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:49.269 that that reason still exists. Likely, so keep going, like Churchill said, 85 00:06:49.550 --> 00:06:55.189 if you're going through hell, keep going. So yeah, check that 86 00:06:55.269 --> 00:06:59.509 out. If you feel messed with, like if you've been dating a dude 87 00:06:59.550 --> 00:07:02.740 for a long time and it keeps promising this future, basically it's a fake 88 00:07:02.939 --> 00:07:09.660 future he has no intention of providing you might be dealing with a narcissist right 89 00:07:09.740 --> 00:07:12.899 there. Just because he doesn't stare in the mirror doesn't mean it doesn't have 90 00:07:12.939 --> 00:07:16.970 a personality disorder, somebody who tries to control you by creating a fake scenario 91 00:07:17.170 --> 00:07:21.089 and promise you things that they never intend to give you look into that. 92 00:07:21.170 --> 00:07:26.449 That might not be the best relationship for you to be in, but it's 93 00:07:26.449 --> 00:07:30.920 pretty funny. I go look up future faking. All Right, sometime tomorrow, 94 00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:33.680 on Saturday, I'm going to try to hook up with Ken, the 95 00:07:33.800 --> 00:07:40.920 inventor of lifted, the Nero stimulation headband I've been trying out, and if 96 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:44.709 you'll let me, will record that and share it with you as well. 97 00:07:45.269 --> 00:07:47.829 So I have a great rest of your Friday Saturday. I'll talk to you 98 00:07:47.870 --> 00:07:57.029 again by and now back to the wall.