Embracing the good emotions, evolving past life's hard times.

WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:11.910 It's only now it's online and Bible this stylecom joining motions with Bible style. 2 00:00:12.789 --> 00:00:17.910 Wow, how about that? Welcome back. It's been a few weeks. 3 00:00:18.589 --> 00:00:25.019 I have taken some time to move my whole operation into the heart of downtown 4 00:00:25.260 --> 00:00:32.020 San Francisco, USA. So everything's going to sound a lot different because it 5 00:00:32.179 --> 00:00:35.619 is a lot different. Let me tell you how that happens. Okay, 6 00:00:35.700 --> 00:00:38.009 he got a minute. Well, you're here, you have the podcast, 7 00:00:38.170 --> 00:00:45.130 so check it out. This is what I did. Found some music to 8 00:00:45.250 --> 00:00:50.039 Ya. When I was had just come back from New Orleans, which is 9 00:00:50.119 --> 00:00:55.159 on the south coast of the United States, back to California. I landed 10 00:00:55.399 --> 00:01:00.679 out in the suburban part, which is not really the mountains or the fields 11 00:01:00.960 --> 00:01:06.030 and it's not the city, somewhere kind of in between, and that that 12 00:01:06.189 --> 00:01:08.629 didn't sit well with me. It just seems so average. I need kind 13 00:01:08.670 --> 00:01:15.829 of extremes. So I made plans and that kind of visualized living in downtown 14 00:01:15.870 --> 00:01:21.140 San Francisco again. It's one of my favorite places to be. So what 15 00:01:21.260 --> 00:01:26.659 I did was I search time low for a building to manage. That's one 16 00:01:26.700 --> 00:01:32.659 of my specialties. I'm a kind of a designer and a producer in one 17 00:01:32.739 --> 00:01:38.849 life, but I also have skills at managing properties. So I found a 18 00:01:38.010 --> 00:01:44.689 really, really cool building in downtown San Francisco to manage and as part of 19 00:01:44.810 --> 00:01:49.359 managing the building, I also live there. So now my whole operation, 20 00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:56.840 everything, my podcast studio, Video Production Studio, my day job office, 21 00:01:57.480 --> 00:02:00.790 my bed, my whole apartment, everything is in the same place and it's 22 00:02:00.829 --> 00:02:09.030 in one of the the grittiest neighborhoods in America. Now a lot of people 23 00:02:09.030 --> 00:02:14.069 are thinking, no way, you've never been to this place or you've never 24 00:02:14.189 --> 00:02:19.060 been to this place. Well, look up the tenderloin in San Francisco and 25 00:02:19.180 --> 00:02:23.419 Wikipedia and let's compare notes, because this place is pretty gritty and it's really 26 00:02:23.460 --> 00:02:29.780 kind of what I was looking for. I'm not sure about you, but 27 00:02:30.050 --> 00:02:35.409 as I'm attribute it to being a bipolar person, but I kind of need 28 00:02:35.650 --> 00:02:38.530 extremes. Like the music I like kind of goes from one extreme to the 29 00:02:38.650 --> 00:02:43.770 next. I don't like middle of the road things. My living environment, 30 00:02:43.810 --> 00:02:46.759 the atmosphere that I stay in, I like that to be kind of super 31 00:02:47.719 --> 00:02:53.240 idyllic, maybe up in the mountains by a lake or right here in the 32 00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:57.800 middle of the Shit, one of the other somewhere when I'm when I'm in 33 00:02:57.879 --> 00:03:00.389 between, when I'm in a place like the suburbs of America, with all 34 00:03:00.430 --> 00:03:06.870 the similar cracker box looking houses and all the same schools and all the same 35 00:03:06.909 --> 00:03:10.310 strip malls and everything, I really feel like I stand out, and being 36 00:03:10.509 --> 00:03:15.819 downtown in a in a big city, I feel a really peaceful sense of 37 00:03:15.259 --> 00:03:28.650 anonymity. Anyway, I explain this to you because you will often hear buses 38 00:03:28.729 --> 00:03:34.330 and sirens, cars speeding by, the normal city sounds. In this particular 39 00:03:34.650 --> 00:03:39.289 city, in this neighborhood, though, you might hear shouting and occasional gunshot 40 00:03:39.650 --> 00:03:44.439 and that sort of thing. Just know that the police department is right around 41 00:03:44.439 --> 00:03:51.680 the corner and they will get here as soon as they can. That's funny, 42 00:03:52.520 --> 00:03:54.039 man. Speaking of guns, we got we got to talk about guns 43 00:03:54.680 --> 00:04:00.150 again. In America we have a gun problem. But let me finish explaining 44 00:04:00.189 --> 00:04:03.590 what had happened here. So at one point I thought my name should be 45 00:04:04.069 --> 00:04:10.460 John Evolves, because I feel like I'm constantly changing, and that's kind of 46 00:04:10.460 --> 00:04:15.860 how I ended up here in San Francisco again. Is the first time around. 47 00:04:15.860 --> 00:04:17.420 I didn't do it right, so I wanted to evolve and kind of 48 00:04:17.540 --> 00:04:21.139 each time I come around to a place, do that place a little bit 49 00:04:21.180 --> 00:04:26.930 better, kind of bring it up next level. So, anyway, not 50 00:04:27.009 --> 00:04:30.730 John Evolves. It ended up being John Emotions. Oh So, and it 51 00:04:30.850 --> 00:04:35.129 all here. Hey, I starting to sound like a fucking bipolar person. 52 00:04:36.050 --> 00:04:46.040 Okay, so I was sitting in the suburbs board watching Netflix and I noticed 53 00:04:46.319 --> 00:04:53.269 Tony Robbins, the motivational guru, has a special on Netflix, if you 54 00:04:53.310 --> 00:04:57.149 might be able to still catch it's pretty good. However, it's called I'm 55 00:04:57.189 --> 00:05:04.829 not your Guru. That's pretty self observant of him. That's interesting. Let's 56 00:05:04.829 --> 00:05:08.139 check it out. And you know, if I don't know, this show 57 00:05:08.339 --> 00:05:12.540 is heard and lots of countries around the world. So I'm thinking you might 58 00:05:12.579 --> 00:05:15.939 not have heard of Tony Robbins, but maybe you have to think he's international. 59 00:05:16.699 --> 00:05:20.850 This guy. As long as I can recall he's been pretty straight and 60 00:05:20.889 --> 00:05:24.889 narrow. He seems to be a man of faith, but he doesn't push 61 00:05:24.889 --> 00:05:30.610 his religion on people and he tends to get results. And I remember reading 62 00:05:30.649 --> 00:05:32.970 his books back when I was a kid in thinking like this is neat. 63 00:05:33.290 --> 00:05:36.399 This guy made it. He was a you know, kid, teenager in 64 00:05:36.439 --> 00:05:40.399 the streets, didn't have much going for him. And decided to just figure 65 00:05:40.399 --> 00:05:43.959 out how how thoughts work, out of how how to motivate myself just by 66 00:05:44.040 --> 00:05:54.110 thinking. So, point being, he seems like a reasonable enough guy to 67 00:05:54.189 --> 00:05:59.230 listen to, at least right so I watched his documentary, Tony Robbins, 68 00:05:59.350 --> 00:06:05.100 I'm not your Guru, and I think the first guy they show was suicidal. 69 00:06:06.220 --> 00:06:13.379 So that really struck me because if you've ever been suicidal you can see 70 00:06:13.379 --> 00:06:17.019 it in people's face when they're that close, or at least that hurt. 71 00:06:18.490 --> 00:06:23.449 And you know, I'm definitely looking at this guy in the audience going yeah, 72 00:06:24.089 --> 00:06:29.050 scars, got a bad case, got bad case of suicidals, and 73 00:06:29.170 --> 00:06:33.000 then watching Tony robins interact with them kind of receealed the deal for me to 74 00:06:33.079 --> 00:06:36.439 watch the rest of the documentary. But do it. Watching the rest of 75 00:06:36.480 --> 00:06:42.800 the documentary is kind of what prompted this. This whole change for me and 76 00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:47.110 for the show caused John to evolve. John Evolves, but one of the 77 00:06:47.149 --> 00:06:53.470 key things I heard in the Tony robins thing kind of snap me back into 78 00:06:53.670 --> 00:06:58.550 in the shape was that our emotions don't have to be bad. We have 79 00:06:58.670 --> 00:07:02.579 good emotions as well, joy and happiness and things like that. And like, 80 00:07:02.699 --> 00:07:09.220 Oh yeah, just because I created a character called John Emotions doesn't mean 81 00:07:09.259 --> 00:07:15.100 I often have to always be complaining and cry baby, whatever, whatever. 82 00:07:15.180 --> 00:07:17.089 You know what I mean. It doesn't all to be bad. I get 83 00:07:17.170 --> 00:07:21.009 it that I've got bipolar disorder, like I'm sure you get it. You 84 00:07:21.129 --> 00:07:29.209 have bipolar disorder, so let's accept up that and get back to life. 85 00:07:32.759 --> 00:07:38.680 So, just based on that simple observation of watching a Netflix show, I 86 00:07:38.759 --> 00:07:42.560 changed my mind and said, that's right, John Emotions is not going to 87 00:07:42.600 --> 00:07:47.230 stand for sadness and depression, or at least not alone. I think John 88 00:07:47.310 --> 00:07:54.430 Emotions should also share happy emotions and positive thoughts and things like that. Does 89 00:07:54.509 --> 00:07:58.470 that make sense? I mean, I guess it makes sense. If, 90 00:07:58.740 --> 00:08:03.420 like you're actually have mania and if experience those times where you can use that 91 00:08:03.500 --> 00:08:11.819 energy towards good, then you probably understand. If you're currently depressed and listening 92 00:08:11.860 --> 00:08:16.610 to this show in your headphones under the covers. Yeah, I get it, 93 00:08:16.649 --> 00:08:24.769 don't worry about it, we'll help you through. This thick step man 94 00:08:24.850 --> 00:08:28.680 that's a good looking dog, this guy that's got a big pit bull walks 95 00:08:28.759 --> 00:08:31.920 by the street and it's all white, but it's got two big giant black 96 00:08:31.959 --> 00:08:35.799 eyes. That's it. Cool. I want to get a dog. I 97 00:08:35.879 --> 00:08:41.200 wanted to get a cat for the longest time and then I read a book 98 00:08:41.909 --> 00:08:48.070 called infectious madness by Harriet a Washington and basically convinced me that cats cause schizophrenia. 99 00:08:48.830 --> 00:08:52.870 Will Get to that in episode coming up. She's kind of gave me 100 00:08:52.950 --> 00:08:56.899 the go ahead to approach her about out and interview for the show. So 101 00:08:56.980 --> 00:09:03.580 if you really interested about the real possibilities that mental illnesses can be transmitted through 102 00:09:03.659 --> 00:09:11.809 the air, through germs, go pick up a copy of infectious madness by 103 00:09:11.889 --> 00:09:20.250 Harriet a Washington. Kind of makes me wondered why I moved back into such 104 00:09:20.289 --> 00:09:24.519 a grimy, Gritty area to as I'm reading this book, I move myself 105 00:09:24.559 --> 00:09:31.039 into one of the dirtiest areas I've ever lived into. Just okay, I'm 106 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:33.480 like. This morning I woke up to video. I took some video. 107 00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:37.399 I love got a camera to take some video of the street happenings and watching 108 00:09:37.990 --> 00:09:43.590 a cop and the pickup truck they drive around with clearing out the homeless each 109 00:09:43.669 --> 00:09:46.429 morning, scooping up their property and throwing the cardboard boxes away and whatnot. 110 00:09:48.590 --> 00:09:52.179 As one of the homeless people was putting up the property. While the COP 111 00:09:52.340 --> 00:09:58.340 was standing there watching, the other person walked over to a nearby car, 112 00:10:00.299 --> 00:10:03.500 pulled their pants down, leaned against the car and started taking a shit right 113 00:10:03.539 --> 00:10:07.289 in front of the COP. So I mean that's that's this neighborhood. There's 114 00:10:07.289 --> 00:10:16.330 needles everywhere, gunshot shell casings, drug baggies, human feces, urine, 115 00:10:16.730 --> 00:10:22.480 all kinds of animal stuff with just it's wild. So to compare that with 116 00:10:24.480 --> 00:10:31.200 Miss Washington's book infectious madness about how many diseases are caused by germs, I'm 117 00:10:31.240 --> 00:10:33.919 starting to wonder, like well, no wonder. Poor people that live in 118 00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:37.629 Shitty neighborhoods go crazy. They catch it, they literally catch it and it 119 00:10:37.750 --> 00:10:46.230 stays in the neighborhoods for generations. That blows my mind and I'm sorry to 120 00:10:46.269 --> 00:10:48.269 blow your mind if you weren't ready for the information. But, like I 121 00:10:48.309 --> 00:10:52.059 said, if you want to check out that book and come up with some 122 00:10:52.179 --> 00:10:56.019 questions for Miss Washington, we'll have her on the show and we'll ask her 123 00:10:56.059 --> 00:11:05.250 all about the rest of the things she's found in her research. What do 124 00:11:05.289 --> 00:11:09.210 you think about that music I'm listening to? I like it makes me feel 125 00:11:09.210 --> 00:11:15.490 like I'm in San Francisco so in the background there is a jazz guy from 126 00:11:15.490 --> 00:11:22.080 the early s named Vince Garaldi, and he is most famous for playing the 127 00:11:22.919 --> 00:11:26.759 Charlie Brown music, you know, the peanuts theme, but he's Great. 128 00:11:26.960 --> 00:11:33.669 Love that. San Francisco has a rich history of Jazz. I live right 129 00:11:33.710 --> 00:11:39.750 across the street from another incarnation of the Black Cat jazz club. It's been 130 00:11:39.789 --> 00:11:46.230 around since the one thousand nine hundred seven or so bounced around the different neighborhoods. 131 00:11:46.269 --> 00:11:48.940 The building I'm in is actually been here since nine hundred and seven. 132 00:11:48.980 --> 00:11:52.659 Jerry Garcia of the grateful dead lived on my floor before he started the grateful 133 00:11:52.700 --> 00:11:56.820 dead. Muhammad Ali used to box in the gym downstairs when there was a 134 00:11:56.860 --> 00:12:01.690 boxing ring there. It's pretty sweet rich history. All right. So, 135 00:12:03.490 --> 00:12:07.970 using my good emotions based on Tony Robbins, I'm like, Fuck Yeah, 136 00:12:07.009 --> 00:12:11.409 let's change what I need to change. What am I going to change? 137 00:12:11.809 --> 00:12:15.879 And I'm then I started looking around in my like my twitter account. I 138 00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:18.639 cancel, like a shut down everything on facebook. If you see anything of 139 00:12:18.679 --> 00:12:22.840 mine on Facebook, is because I have some other social media account, still 140 00:12:22.840 --> 00:12:26.919 lingering account, like a connected there or something, but I don't log into 141 00:12:26.960 --> 00:12:28.919 facebook at all. I don't Check Messenger. I deleted all the APPS. 142 00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:33.149 I don't have any of that stuff. I just needed a simpler life. 143 00:12:39.269 --> 00:12:46.100 So it's effectively twitter for me. But we also created another place called Bipolar 144 00:12:46.220 --> 00:12:52.899 Partycom, which is full of kind, talkative people that are not into facebook, 145 00:12:54.740 --> 00:12:58.769 the same way I'm not into facebook. So if you find yourself in 146 00:12:58.009 --> 00:13:03.850 need of a conversation, it's mostly Americans in there right now, but check 147 00:13:03.889 --> 00:13:09.049 it out. Not sure if you can understand yourster's accent, but it's bipolar 148 00:13:09.250 --> 00:13:16.960 partycom and check that out. So we hang out there and twitter kind of 149 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:24.759 a share back and forth. Squeaky floor. But part of the issue still 150 00:13:24.799 --> 00:13:28.950 though. On twitter is a start to like, compare myself to other people, 151 00:13:30.389 --> 00:13:35.350 like I'm sure you do and most normal humans do. We compare ourselves 152 00:13:35.389 --> 00:13:39.230 and societies of what other people have, but social media makes it that much 153 00:13:39.309 --> 00:13:43.820 more impactful. It's more immediate, righten your face whenever you want to look 154 00:13:43.860 --> 00:13:46.299 at or choose to look at it. So I start to think, man, 155 00:13:46.820 --> 00:13:52.100 I don't feel except like none of the bipolar what you call them agencies 156 00:13:52.659 --> 00:13:58.009 or nonprofits or advocacy groups, none of them followed this show or me or 157 00:13:58.090 --> 00:14:03.570 anything like that. So after a while I started to feel abandoned once again, 158 00:14:03.649 --> 00:14:05.610 just like I was when I was a kid, and it's triggered a 159 00:14:05.649 --> 00:14:13.039 bunch of emotions in me. I'm like, this is not right, and 160 00:14:13.159 --> 00:14:16.000 then I'm just thinking, you know what the fuck that? I don't need 161 00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:18.840 to be I don't need to be part of that. I'm just I want 162 00:14:18.840 --> 00:14:22.600 to do this. I want to do my thing, which is reach out 163 00:14:22.639 --> 00:14:28.990 to people, especially people newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and let them know 164 00:14:28.110 --> 00:14:33.950 you're not alone. It's not a death sentence. You are a normal person 165 00:14:33.669 --> 00:14:39.860 with a brain malfunction. They don't really know what funk the malfunction is yet 166 00:14:39.019 --> 00:14:43.419 and they're trying to treat it with drugs and therapy, and they will get 167 00:14:43.460 --> 00:14:48.059 there in this lifetime, I guarantee you. So just relax. If you're 168 00:14:48.220 --> 00:14:52.529 newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder, it's breathe. Hold on second, I need 169 00:14:52.570 --> 00:15:09.679 to breathem getting a wound up talking about it. You breathing? Okay. 170 00:15:09.720 --> 00:15:16.840 So we fought lots of new bipolar diagnoses daily around the world. So, 171 00:15:16.120 --> 00:15:20.720 as a listener right now or as a longtime listener, what you can help 172 00:15:20.759 --> 00:15:26.269 me do is spread the message of this show, especially to people newly diagnosed 173 00:15:26.309 --> 00:15:30.509 with bipolar disorder. We've got to reach out to them that they're not alone 174 00:15:30.669 --> 00:15:35.779 and they're still normal people. They've just have more clarity on what's causing their 175 00:15:35.860 --> 00:15:41.419 behavior now. So, that said, my message to me in my head 176 00:15:41.860 --> 00:15:48.179 feels much larger than worrying about what the little mental health adversuspread of, what 177 00:15:48.340 --> 00:15:54.889 the mental health advocacy clicks on twitter are talking about or who they include in 178 00:15:54.889 --> 00:15:58.649 their little reindeer games. You know, at some point I like well, 179 00:15:58.690 --> 00:16:00.730 fuck it, fuck them, I'm just going to go do my thing, 180 00:16:00.289 --> 00:16:03.360 and it's a bigger message to the rest of the world. I found this 181 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:07.519 out because I started looking at all the downloads, all the statistics from my 182 00:16:07.639 --> 00:16:11.679 podcast through our dashboard, like on our hosting company, at the podcast place, 183 00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:18.110 you can look at where people are downloading your podcast. Hold on one 184 00:16:18.149 --> 00:16:25.590 second, excuse me, it is live. So I'm looking at the podcast 185 00:16:25.629 --> 00:16:30.470 statistics and realize, man, we've got listeners all around the world. I 186 00:16:30.590 --> 00:16:37.299 compared it to the map I was looking at of bipolar sufferers around the world 187 00:16:37.899 --> 00:16:41.460 and there's no correlation at all. That's strange. Well, I guess developed 188 00:16:41.500 --> 00:16:47.610 countries tend to acknowledge mental health illnesses. That's the most I could correlate between 189 00:16:47.649 --> 00:16:52.809 the two different maps. What I'm saying is this show I'm going to reposition 190 00:16:52.889 --> 00:16:57.169 as more of an international show to help people newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. 191 00:16:57.610 --> 00:17:03.319 It's I'll try to be less America centric and in my own mind I'm not 192 00:17:03.519 --> 00:17:08.119 really trying to fit in with the Bipolar Society of America or whatever the fuck 193 00:17:08.200 --> 00:17:15.200 those those organizations are called, because if they're not helping independence producers and voices 194 00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:18.950 like mine and they're only preaching their own dogma, then I don't need that. 195 00:17:19.069 --> 00:17:32.180 I mean, I've never needed that. That is how I came about 196 00:17:32.220 --> 00:17:38.700 to find my new voiceover guy from THEMIBIA. That's your stuff and I love 197 00:17:38.819 --> 00:17:42.700 that sound put in there. You'll hear it at the end again. I'll 198 00:17:42.740 --> 00:17:47.009 use that for a while. Kind of reminds me of a thing we were 199 00:17:47.049 --> 00:17:49.730 talking about on twitter actually. So do you journal? Do You keep a 200 00:17:49.809 --> 00:17:56.009 die re? Try It's pretty cool. Here's the thing that did stop me 201 00:17:56.089 --> 00:18:00.799 for a while when I first because I'm kind of a perfectionist in many ways. 202 00:18:00.119 --> 00:18:07.039 Should you get things right, and since I started my journal it's a 203 00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:11.960 perfect. Yeah, every small cap was there in the date was in the 204 00:18:11.960 --> 00:18:15.109 right place on every page and then I'd fuck it up. Oh yow, 205 00:18:15.670 --> 00:18:18.789 I ruined it. What I do? Go to the bottom of this page 206 00:18:18.829 --> 00:18:22.750 or turn the page or just creating all these hurdles for actually just documented the 207 00:18:22.750 --> 00:18:26.500 thoughts I was trying to get out of my head. So I said, 208 00:18:26.539 --> 00:18:30.660 fuck it, I'll just let scribbles go. Well, scribbles were fine, 209 00:18:30.700 --> 00:18:32.819 and then I'm like, Oh yeah, I'm actually writing more. That's cool. 210 00:18:33.140 --> 00:18:36.220 And then I had one of those ink pens that has the four different 211 00:18:36.259 --> 00:18:38.500 color clickers, you know, red, blue, green, whatever, black, 212 00:18:40.299 --> 00:18:45.609 and started writing in different colors to highlight different thoughts and that was nice 213 00:18:45.690 --> 00:18:51.049 and that made it more a little more fun to write and a little easier 214 00:18:51.089 --> 00:18:56.519 to read back. So that worked. But then I got stuck. I 215 00:18:56.599 --> 00:19:03.759 got stuck on words. I like words. I know the best words. 216 00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:07.240 I like words. Of always liked words. I was a good speller in 217 00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:11.509 school and I just like them and I like to play with them, I 218 00:19:11.670 --> 00:19:14.950 like the sounds of them, I like to write them out. But my 219 00:19:15.190 --> 00:19:18.470 thoughts, Noah, my there are there are no words for some of my 220 00:19:18.589 --> 00:19:23.380 thoughts. So when I'm writing words, down in them like this is not 221 00:19:23.539 --> 00:19:27.619 working. I'm not conveying what I'm what I need to get out on this 222 00:19:27.740 --> 00:19:34.059 paper using the shapes of these twenty six letters. It's not working. So 223 00:19:34.180 --> 00:19:40.410 I did not journal for years and I keep my journals around though I was 224 00:19:40.410 --> 00:19:42.849 bringing with me. Still got them right over there, and sometimes I'll just 225 00:19:42.890 --> 00:19:47.009 flip through the pages and you like look this, two thousand and seven, 226 00:19:47.970 --> 00:19:51.769 two thousand and eight, two thousand and fifteen. I'm like, Oh, 227 00:19:51.849 --> 00:19:55.640 what happened while those years? Now I just like literally Miss Years. So 228 00:19:55.960 --> 00:20:00.559 one of the new things that I done to get myself re journaling was to 229 00:20:00.759 --> 00:20:04.160 not just not just let my journals stop at words, but go ahead and 230 00:20:04.400 --> 00:20:08.150 scribble in the fucker. Just make drawings, whatever it's in your brain, 231 00:20:10.029 --> 00:20:14.109 make doodles, whatever it takes to get to the words. So if I'm 232 00:20:14.589 --> 00:20:21.500 making hatch marks or smiley faces or emo Joe Yin Yang's or whatever, eventually 233 00:20:22.180 --> 00:20:25.019 words would come to my mind. Event I would capture those words and write 234 00:20:25.460 --> 00:20:29.259 the rest of the Journal entry. So that's kind of what I'm doing here 235 00:20:29.460 --> 00:20:37.329 with this particular podcast. When I was out in the suburbs, I had 236 00:20:37.490 --> 00:20:41.730 a fake backdrop that said psych that media behind me. That made it look 237 00:20:41.769 --> 00:20:45.369 like I was in a downtown office, but the reality was that was a 238 00:20:45.490 --> 00:20:51.480 just the fake backdrop, because I'm just kind of you gotta see it, 239 00:20:52.119 --> 00:20:53.359 you got to name it to claim it, whatever oprah says. You know, 240 00:20:53.400 --> 00:20:59.119 the the visualization thing. Basically I was visualizing the type of office that 241 00:20:59.279 --> 00:21:04.470 I actually wanted. Well, now I actually have that real view and it's 242 00:21:04.470 --> 00:21:08.710 a lot harder to light. So when you have a backdrop, you can 243 00:21:08.750 --> 00:21:11.910 make it look like it's a backdrop and there's sunlight back there, but when 244 00:21:11.990 --> 00:21:18.900 there's actually sunlight behind your window, it washes out the camera. So I've 245 00:21:18.940 --> 00:21:21.299 got to figure out a good way to do that. In the meantime, 246 00:21:22.140 --> 00:21:25.940 part of this show will be me capturing just crazy shit on the street. 247 00:21:26.380 --> 00:21:30.140 I'll put it up on my youtube channel and flash it out to the twitter 248 00:21:30.619 --> 00:21:33.170 if you want to look at that, just to kind of see how life 249 00:21:33.210 --> 00:21:37.529 is for other people, especially in this crazy part of town. That will 250 00:21:37.569 --> 00:21:40.410 be cool, but again, it's that that's like me just scribbling in my 251 00:21:40.490 --> 00:21:44.930 journal. I'm not going to hold the true to any podcast format, except 252 00:21:45.210 --> 00:21:47.440 there's going to be a start and there's going to be an end. And 253 00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:52.440 they'll generally be pretty short, but want to make it just the bigger, 254 00:21:52.920 --> 00:22:07.670 funner show. Cool you? Cool with that? Then I also have to 255 00:22:07.710 --> 00:22:11.670 get back to my responsibilities. In moving you have to disconnect a lot of 256 00:22:11.789 --> 00:22:17.259 things. I didn't have Internet for a couple of weeks. kind of suffering 257 00:22:17.380 --> 00:22:21.819 there, and now my some of my functionalities are not working. I don't 258 00:22:21.819 --> 00:22:26.940 think I'm getting the email notifications from some tools I'm using to schedule guests. 259 00:22:29.619 --> 00:22:33.250 There's a great podcast have been listening to call to come to the table. 260 00:22:33.769 --> 00:22:40.849 It's religious folks bringing all kinds of other people, quote unquote, to the 261 00:22:40.930 --> 00:22:45.519 table to have a conversation about pretty much anything, but just acknowledging that their 262 00:22:45.640 --> 00:22:48.559 perspective is the religious perspective. So we've been trying to hook up for weeks 263 00:22:48.680 --> 00:22:52.079 and I encourage you to go check out that show. But we'll be together 264 00:22:52.200 --> 00:22:59.549 soon. Look forward to that. And of course, Becky at that B 265 00:22:59.750 --> 00:23:06.549 word podcast. She talks about bipolar and borderline personality disorder. Around the first 266 00:23:06.549 --> 00:23:10.470 of the year. See what? I really moved to California because I wanted 267 00:23:10.509 --> 00:23:14.539 to have a partner to do podcasts with. I don't want to do them 268 00:23:14.660 --> 00:23:18.740 alone. It's kind of. It's hard, but I thought, hey, 269 00:23:18.859 --> 00:23:25.140 if we maybe becky and I can do a cohosting thing where we each call 270 00:23:25.259 --> 00:23:30.210 in and record our parts and make a two person podcast about mental health. 271 00:23:30.049 --> 00:23:36.250 And it was all into that and nice. Totally got off track. But 272 00:23:36.369 --> 00:23:40.930 anyway, check out Becky, show that B word and take a listen, 273 00:23:41.130 --> 00:23:45.119 subscribe to that. We'll have her own again. I can need to a 274 00:23:45.240 --> 00:23:48.799 publicly apologize for saying, Hey, let's start a show together, that other 275 00:23:48.920 --> 00:23:52.599 that and then, like fuck, I have to move and everything's falling apart 276 00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:56.589 at my feet. So it's fair enough. I want to hear what her 277 00:23:56.670 --> 00:23:59.309 shows been up to. I listen to her episodes, but I want to 278 00:23:59.309 --> 00:24:02.829 see what she's what are struggles have been as far as the new podcast, 279 00:24:02.910 --> 00:24:15.220 because both of our podcasts are less than a year old, and so this 280 00:24:15.380 --> 00:24:19.220 new studio here's there's a funny thing. Okay, so I've been a drummer 281 00:24:19.259 --> 00:24:22.819 for most of my life, like literally, like since I was like three 282 00:24:22.859 --> 00:24:29.210 or four years old, and when you play acoustic drums, I really prefer 283 00:24:29.329 --> 00:24:33.849 a big boomy open sound, like a pedal on the drumhead in a nice 284 00:24:33.930 --> 00:24:40.759 big maple hardwood shell, pushing air out. You make sound when you move 285 00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:45.200 are. So I'm like, yeah, the big old boomy sound bass drums, 286 00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:48.799 all my Tom Tom's, my snare drums, all that, just big 287 00:24:48.960 --> 00:24:53.269 open sound. Some people like to put pillows in their bass drums give it 288 00:24:53.390 --> 00:24:59.190 a really muffled sound. You know, obviously he move less air, he 289 00:24:59.309 --> 00:25:03.829 make less sound, but they're trimming out all the special tones, the overtones 290 00:25:03.910 --> 00:25:10.180 that make drum sounds so cool. So, by the same token, this 291 00:25:10.339 --> 00:25:15.460 particular studio I'm in I was surrounded by hard things. There's a window there, 292 00:25:15.140 --> 00:25:19.740 hardwood floors under my feet, biggest screen TV over there and, you 293 00:25:19.819 --> 00:25:25.450 know, Pai Painted Wall in front of me, so lots of hard surfaces. 294 00:25:26.049 --> 00:25:29.930 Actually stand in my socks while I'm recording this, so you don't hear 295 00:25:29.970 --> 00:25:33.369 me tapping my feet. But the whole thing is like I want the sound, 296 00:25:34.089 --> 00:25:37.599 all of the sound, to be heard. I want the nuances of 297 00:25:37.799 --> 00:25:41.799 the cars going up the street, the sound in the background of my studio 298 00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:45.960 that you can hear through the MIC. I like that. It adds, 299 00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:52.789 I think, flavor and Spotan eighty and you just a little more excitements into 300 00:25:52.869 --> 00:26:00.470 the podcast. It's especially cool and I have to step away from the MIC. 301 00:26:00.150 --> 00:26:03.940 Catch my breath. There's no dead air. You hear the piano still 302 00:26:03.940 --> 00:26:11.339 going. So anyway, back to the topic of what's new, what's evolving? 303 00:26:11.420 --> 00:26:14.900 That that's how I'm doing the podcast now. It's a lot more more 304 00:26:15.339 --> 00:26:21.890 open and a lot more live, a lot more on track of what I've 305 00:26:22.009 --> 00:26:25.250 been trying to do. So now man, just kind of gather the momentum 306 00:26:25.289 --> 00:26:30.410 again. I'll do a podcast on guns here momentarily. Maybe this one now 307 00:26:30.490 --> 00:26:34.680 I'll cut it up into two because the guns podcasts is fresh. It's new, 308 00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:41.119 but it's mostly topical for Americans. So if you don't care about guns 309 00:26:41.160 --> 00:26:45.720 in America, you probably don't need to hear that podcast. However, I 310 00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:51.430 encourage listen to it anyways because guns do affect most countries with American influence, 311 00:26:51.470 --> 00:26:55.750 and I know America tries to imperialize the world, so there may soon be 312 00:26:55.910 --> 00:27:02.460 American guns on your shores if you're not careful. So anyway, we'll cut 313 00:27:02.539 --> 00:27:04.819 loose here. It's been while. I've been long enough talking. I could 314 00:27:04.819 --> 00:27:08.059 always tell when I'm running out of things to say, but I just wanted 315 00:27:08.099 --> 00:27:12.019 to touch base. I'll get to the guns podcast here today. Try to 316 00:27:12.059 --> 00:27:21.009 get them both uploaded and, yeah, subscribe it bipolar stylecom. Go over 317 00:27:21.089 --> 00:27:26.849 to twitter, same thing by polar style and, like I said, help 318 00:27:26.890 --> 00:27:34.480 us build bipolar partycom into like a cool bipolar people exclusive social platform, and 319 00:27:34.839 --> 00:27:37.559 you can help us move the parts around. We're all very new. There's 320 00:27:37.559 --> 00:27:41.960 probably less than fifty people there right now, so your input is greatly appreciated 321 00:27:45.190 --> 00:27:47.670 and it's a good place to be if you just want to get off of 322 00:27:48.509 --> 00:27:52.029 like facebook. Cool, all right, so let's kick it out of here. 323 00:27:52.069 --> 00:27:56.150 I'm going to go get some lunch, come back talk about guns. 324 00:27:56.509 --> 00:28:07.380 You have a great Saturday. Chow now styles on our cheese and five following 325 00:28:07.460 --> 00:28:11.970 on twitter. Excuse mecom