Bipolar filmmaker Jason Bee talks about "Donovan," the movie.

WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.240 --> 00:00:10.710 Welcome back to bipolar style, the podcast for bipolar people and those who love 2 00:00:10.869 --> 00:00:17.469 them. Join US online at bipolar stylecom and now use your host, Johnny 3 00:00:17.589 --> 00:00:25.260 motion. All Right, thanks for tuning back into bipolar style. Thanks, 4 00:00:25.260 --> 00:00:29.059 Jules, for that Nice intro. Today is an extra special show for me 5 00:00:29.100 --> 00:00:34.020 because this is my first like official guest that isn't somebody I already know. 6 00:00:34.740 --> 00:00:38.570 So today, and this kind of falls in a long series I'd like to 7 00:00:38.649 --> 00:00:42.890 put together of creative bipolar folks that actually produce things and put them into the 8 00:00:42.969 --> 00:00:46.409 world. So, if you'd like to follow along, get out your twitter 9 00:00:46.450 --> 00:00:54.840 accounts and go to at the Jason B T G Jaso in be our guest 10 00:00:54.920 --> 00:00:59.119 today is from Texas, USA, Jason B. How are you doing, 11 00:00:59.200 --> 00:01:03.200 Jason? Hell, hello, thanks so much, friend. I'm honored to 12 00:01:03.240 --> 00:01:07.430 be your first stranger guest. Yeah, did you know that? No, 13 00:01:07.590 --> 00:01:11.310 I didn't. That's funny. Well, Diane from twitter, Diane Harwood, 14 00:01:11.909 --> 00:01:15.750 who is out promoting her postpartum bipolar book. She was going to be now 15 00:01:15.989 --> 00:01:19.620 now she's hustling. She's out out in bookstores doing book signings. So she's 16 00:01:19.659 --> 00:01:23.060 going to come out out next Saturday too, and that makes you the first 17 00:01:23.099 --> 00:01:29.739 man. So congrats and again more middle aged white dudes on podcasts, which 18 00:01:29.859 --> 00:01:33.730 is what the world needs more of. But Hey, we're special ball middle 19 00:01:33.769 --> 00:01:38.450 age by yeah right. But in this case we both have bipolar and we're 20 00:01:38.489 --> 00:01:42.250 going to dig into Jason's past a little bit and hear his story of how 21 00:01:42.290 --> 00:01:48.719 he came to know he had bipolar disorder and and then we'll start to talk 22 00:01:48.760 --> 00:01:52.760 about the movie he put together. But in this case the movie he put 23 00:01:52.879 --> 00:01:57.840 together is effectively a biography, at autobiography of his life. So we might 24 00:01:57.879 --> 00:02:00.400 kind of intersperse movie parts and story at the same time. How's that? 25 00:02:00.510 --> 00:02:06.909 So yes, I'm cool, man. So take us back. How how 26 00:02:07.030 --> 00:02:14.110 long have you been diagnosed with bipolar? So it's been a little over twenty 27 00:02:14.150 --> 00:02:17.860 years, the very end of the many these early two thousand. You know, 28 00:02:19.340 --> 00:02:22.099 going through the the cycles, I guess, if you will. Yeah, 29 00:02:22.300 --> 00:02:24.819 the string high stream lows and not knowing what the Hell is going on. 30 00:02:27.340 --> 00:02:29.860 You know, I remember being out of the bar with my friends, 31 00:02:29.900 --> 00:02:32.009 having a good time. We're all joking and US and off and then suddenly 32 00:02:32.129 --> 00:02:37.530 I'm like a sopping mess in the corners and no clue why. Oh No, 33 00:02:38.370 --> 00:02:42.409 so, yeah, so you know, finally, enough of that roller 34 00:02:42.530 --> 00:02:46.360 coaster, maybe say and maybe I should have talk to somebody. So now 35 00:02:46.360 --> 00:02:50.800 I'll went to the ZCER and did the little test that you have to do. 36 00:02:51.159 --> 00:02:54.800 And you know that two hundred fifty questionnaire where it's like the same twenty 37 00:02:54.840 --> 00:02:59.270 five questions but they ask you to different ways. Yeah, that's an absurd 38 00:02:59.310 --> 00:03:02.030 question. Are Right, because when you're in that in that mindset, all 39 00:03:02.069 --> 00:03:06.150 the answers are so obvious. It's like yes, yes, of course I'm 40 00:03:06.189 --> 00:03:08.310 going to do this. Yeah, yeah, have you cried lately? Well, 41 00:03:08.389 --> 00:03:14.180 yeah, and these are tears on this sheet exactly. I'm staying it 42 00:03:14.219 --> 00:03:16.979 already. So yeah, and I got diagnosed. Paul. You know, 43 00:03:16.979 --> 00:03:21.659 I really remember walking into the doctor's office that if you remember leaving, I 44 00:03:21.740 --> 00:03:25.539 remember standing in that parking lot and and feeling like my whole world it turn 45 00:03:25.539 --> 00:03:29.969 ups to down. I feel like, yeah, I felt like I was 46 00:03:30.090 --> 00:03:37.889 betrayed by the wall saying brain and wondering how I could move forward and trust 47 00:03:38.370 --> 00:03:40.129 this decision maker, the only decision to make her I have. HMM, 48 00:03:40.289 --> 00:03:44.800 and it also recognizing kind of that irony that these thoughts that I'm having about 49 00:03:44.800 --> 00:03:49.159 being betrayed cover coming from the brain that just betrayed me exactly. So who, 50 00:03:49.520 --> 00:03:52.159 who to trust now? It's like that's you're my only brain. We've 51 00:03:52.159 --> 00:03:54.870 been buddies all this time, and what happens? Can I trust you moving 52 00:03:54.949 --> 00:03:59.830 forward? You've beteen. Yeah, that's that's funny. Well, it's not 53 00:03:59.949 --> 00:04:01.870 funny, but it's funny that I feel the same to me. Yeah, 54 00:04:01.909 --> 00:04:08.550 yeah, I'm sure, sure's something a lot of getting really to you when 55 00:04:08.590 --> 00:04:11.539 you first get hit with that. Where where you hear you in life? 56 00:04:11.620 --> 00:04:13.860 Like, what part of Your Life for you? And so twenty years ago, 57 00:04:13.900 --> 00:04:16.100 so you're probably roughly twenty, I guess right, and your twenty sometime. 58 00:04:16.579 --> 00:04:21.379 Yeah, yeah, I married, yea, that, but I was 59 00:04:21.500 --> 00:04:28.490 with my hen say that I would marry afterwards and and you know, so 60 00:04:28.569 --> 00:04:33.050 that was a big thing to take in and take home to someone that you 61 00:04:33.129 --> 00:04:38.490 know you're about to share your life with, and also that fear of it's 62 00:04:38.529 --> 00:04:42.120 going to change things, right, you know, it turns us that she's 63 00:04:42.120 --> 00:04:44.680 not going to like me now because of this, and it's just the word 64 00:04:44.839 --> 00:04:46.439 right. It's that's so bizarre. That's such a weird thing to have to 65 00:04:46.519 --> 00:04:50.199 come home to. Sometimes you make lose a job or crash the car and 66 00:04:50.240 --> 00:04:54.870 you have to present that information to your parent, your parents, your spouse 67 00:04:54.910 --> 00:04:59.910 or whatever. But coming home after you simply had some tests and a conversation 68 00:05:00.029 --> 00:05:02.709 with a guy called the doctor, and now you're going to say him, 69 00:05:02.790 --> 00:05:05.269 I have this label called bipolar. You like, like you said, you're 70 00:05:05.310 --> 00:05:09.540 standing in the parking lot kind of like does this fit, like a new 71 00:05:09.620 --> 00:05:14.259 jacket that's too tight or something, a bipolar right, and you drive driving 72 00:05:14.300 --> 00:05:15.939 homely like funny, I don't feel any different than I did yesterday. I 73 00:05:15.980 --> 00:05:21.810 kind of feel actually better. But by the time you rationalize that and in 74 00:05:21.889 --> 00:05:25.089 a way, in an eternal way, and are able to tell it to 75 00:05:25.129 --> 00:05:28.970 your spouse, you've already kind of processed it. So I always wonder what 76 00:05:29.009 --> 00:05:30.449 it would be like for somebody to tell me something, because I've had people 77 00:05:30.490 --> 00:05:33.250 tell me, Hey, I have cancer and I'm like Whoa, Damn that. 78 00:05:33.769 --> 00:05:38.040 It's amazing that. It just crazy to me. But if someone told 79 00:05:38.079 --> 00:05:41.360 me they had any mental illness, I'd probably just give them a hug at 80 00:05:41.439 --> 00:05:46.439 this point. Right. Yeah, so what do happen? I mean, 81 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:50.629 you know, I I don't remember the specifics. And it's something weird too 82 00:05:50.670 --> 00:05:56.110 about it is there's a lot of things that I'm learning today about that I 83 00:05:56.189 --> 00:06:00.069 don't remember. Like there's things that happened ten, twenty years ago that I 84 00:06:00.110 --> 00:06:04.699 can remember insane detail that I always thought I was always proud of, and 85 00:06:05.060 --> 00:06:09.420 now that I'm shocking my story some more, I'm not saying there's a lot 86 00:06:09.459 --> 00:06:13.379 of things that I don't remember at all and so it's kind of weird to 87 00:06:13.420 --> 00:06:17.689 take in right now. But I do remember going through the trial. I 88 00:06:18.089 --> 00:06:21.290 mean, you know, she was supportive forms what the conversation was been. 89 00:06:21.370 --> 00:06:27.009 The INI was very supportive about it, and I remember going through this phase 90 00:06:27.129 --> 00:06:30.209 of medication right that we all have to go through. Yep, it is 91 00:06:30.290 --> 00:06:34.040 just how awful that. But I remember, you know, falling into the 92 00:06:34.079 --> 00:06:38.199 Roman Kemi a little bit. Is Not be believe, the bathroom for entire 93 00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:41.000 day because I couldn't go anywhere because I never knew when my stomach was going 94 00:06:41.040 --> 00:06:45.560 to head and extra thing, yeah, yeah, sure, or on lithium 95 00:06:45.879 --> 00:06:47.029 it that was the worst for me. I know it works for a lot 96 00:06:47.029 --> 00:06:49.750 of other people, but for me I sat in the chair for hours and 97 00:06:49.990 --> 00:06:55.029 stared at the wall and ruled and in my head I'm thinking I want to 98 00:06:55.110 --> 00:06:59.069 get up and dance and have a good time and be flying, but you're 99 00:06:59.110 --> 00:07:02.579 a ruling. Where's the damn happy pill man? That's that's what I thought 100 00:07:02.660 --> 00:07:05.259 when I was like happy about this shit. What it was right, and 101 00:07:05.379 --> 00:07:10.819 the thing about bipolar is that drives me nuts especially is that the doctors will, 102 00:07:11.019 --> 00:07:14.660 in every case that I've experienced, will go after the mania first, 103 00:07:14.779 --> 00:07:15.529 and I'm like wait, wait, wait, don't be so fast. The 104 00:07:15.730 --> 00:07:18.810 I like kind of like the mean if I have two kids, ones mania 105 00:07:18.850 --> 00:07:24.209 and one's depression, let's put the lid on depression first and let me we'll 106 00:07:24.250 --> 00:07:27.769 deal with mania later. NOOPE, never. They always take the fun part 107 00:07:27.850 --> 00:07:32.040 away and then, okay, now I'm not happier, hyper, but I'm 108 00:07:32.079 --> 00:07:38.839 still kind of depressed. And what the Hell? That's that's maddening. That's 109 00:07:38.839 --> 00:07:43.480 why I think bipolar people throughout history have been the ones that have been called, 110 00:07:43.519 --> 00:07:46.870 quote unquote, mad. I don't know if that's a frame, but 111 00:07:46.910 --> 00:07:53.149 I can definitely see a bipolar person without treatment, going literally mad. Yeah, 112 00:07:53.470 --> 00:07:57.389 and being viewed as the frank as well. Yeah, Rom because it's 113 00:07:57.430 --> 00:08:01.139 easy for people to nothing able to know those differences unless you're in the middle 114 00:08:01.180 --> 00:08:05.819 of it. Yeah, right, right, in the studying all the means 115 00:08:05.860 --> 00:08:07.500 that they were happened. Yeah, in the so in the past twenty years, 116 00:08:07.579 --> 00:08:13.370 have they layered any other diagnosis on top of your bipolar? No, 117 00:08:15.089 --> 00:08:18.689 because me is I'm also dyslexic, but you know, really didn't have any 118 00:08:18.769 --> 00:08:20.970 to do with it by polar. But Fun time when I can't read anything 119 00:08:22.009 --> 00:08:26.319 and I'm frustrated. Yeah, especially those long names of bipolar drugs. Right, 120 00:08:28.920 --> 00:08:33.600 yeah, that's the OX car one. Yeah, oxcar right. Yeah, 121 00:08:35.559 --> 00:08:39.120 yeah, so in that beginning, whenever I going through that trialing, 122 00:08:39.159 --> 00:08:43.909 are of the thing somewhere that I decided, you know what, screw this, 123 00:08:43.070 --> 00:08:48.870 I'm I'm not that right. And when, when off? I would 124 00:08:48.870 --> 00:08:52.309 go on and off medication and, like for much everybody this, I never 125 00:08:52.350 --> 00:08:56.340 really fix the diagnosis. seriously. HMM. Sure. Now I know a 126 00:08:56.379 --> 00:08:58.820 lot of people are like, I got I've got a label for it. 127 00:08:58.980 --> 00:09:03.019 Now I can fight this. I'm this would be great or optimistic, very 128 00:09:03.059 --> 00:09:05.340 least. Yeah. Now, not me. I lose meaning. Yeah, 129 00:09:05.659 --> 00:09:09.779 I'm here, yeah, and Anti Authority, whatever that label is, but 130 00:09:09.860 --> 00:09:13.009 I'm gonna do what I want to do. I've questioned everybody. Yeah, 131 00:09:13.009 --> 00:09:16.809 I've questioned everybody my whole life. I've questioned teachers, of question cops. 132 00:09:16.169 --> 00:09:20.409 I'm definitely going to question doctors. Just it's inherent in me. I'm like, 133 00:09:20.610 --> 00:09:22.730 okay, you say I'm this cool all right, every time I come 134 00:09:22.730 --> 00:09:26.559 to the hospital player game, but in real life it's kind of hard to 135 00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:28.759 match it up. It's like, well, I still fucking feel like me 136 00:09:28.919 --> 00:09:35.840 out here. So it's really, really trippy. They've called I think I 137 00:09:35.960 --> 00:09:39.509 have borderline personality disorder. I definitely have social anxiety and I think I have 138 00:09:39.629 --> 00:09:46.110 PTSD from just being put out into the world too early. Really, yeah, 139 00:09:46.309 --> 00:09:52.029 because I got my final adult housing situation was when I was fourteen, 140 00:09:52.710 --> 00:09:54.659 inside to just scramble. Yeah, but I felt so I felt like a 141 00:09:54.740 --> 00:09:58.740 feral kid and I kind of still feel like a farrel adult, like no 142 00:10:00.019 --> 00:10:03.059 places actually where I should stop. I should always keep moving on to the 143 00:10:03.179 --> 00:10:07.059 next backyard to find scraps in or something. It just has that sense in 144 00:10:07.169 --> 00:10:11.169 my head. Really Weird. Managuer, the by polar disorder, with that 145 00:10:11.450 --> 00:10:16.490 injured feeling of not really sitting in any particular group or dynamic. Yeah, 146 00:10:16.610 --> 00:10:18.929 doesn't help that. No, yeah, you did. It's just like this 147 00:10:20.049 --> 00:10:22.200 isn't my group. Yeah, even people that want to have you as a 148 00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:26.360 group. You fall into that kind of Groucho marks bit that you don't want 149 00:10:26.360 --> 00:10:28.600 to be a part of a group, of some group that would have you 150 00:10:28.720 --> 00:10:31.360 as its member, and like Oh, nope, that me. Then I 151 00:10:31.399 --> 00:10:35.679 guess the imposter syndrome kind of comes over, like oh well, you guys 152 00:10:35.710 --> 00:10:39.029 don't see through my charade, so therefore you're idiot. So even though I 153 00:10:39.149 --> 00:10:41.070 love your group, I'm not going to be part of it now. or 154 00:10:41.389 --> 00:10:45.669 or the counter, that not feeling worthy to be in the group. You 155 00:10:45.750 --> 00:10:48.429 know, always so the groups you want to be in and they finally pull 156 00:10:48.470 --> 00:10:50.899 you in and you're like, oh, he's kind it for real on the 157 00:10:50.980 --> 00:10:54.659 so softre so, yeah, I don't belong here. Totally not good enough. 158 00:10:54.820 --> 00:10:58.620 Yeah, that's for real too. There are cases where we actually aren't 159 00:10:58.620 --> 00:11:01.179 good enough to be doing what we're supposed to be doing, or trying to 160 00:11:01.220 --> 00:11:05.169 do. Anyway. That's funny. That will actually that's funny. That's a 161 00:11:05.169 --> 00:11:09.850 kind of a cool segue up to the the movie making bit, but let's 162 00:11:09.889 --> 00:11:13.769 just clarify. So for the past twenty years, primarily you've been dealing with 163 00:11:15.049 --> 00:11:20.559 bipolar disorder uniquely and doing it what all the other bipolar folks like us do. 164 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:24.480 Is You've experimented with you medication and you sound like you're fairly happy and 165 00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:28.080 stable. I mean, I don't want to assume, but right. Yeah, 166 00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:31.240 yeah, yeah. So, well, in two thousand and seven, 167 00:11:31.320 --> 00:11:35.950 like January, is when I had, in our first really bad psychotic break. 168 00:11:35.789 --> 00:11:43.429 That really open my eyes to do your either going to be dead and 169 00:11:43.509 --> 00:11:48.139 leave this son of yours without dad, or you need to keep your shit 170 00:11:48.220 --> 00:11:52.419 straight, and I chose my sorry, can we say? Yeah, yeah, 171 00:11:52.419 --> 00:11:56.059 of course, yeah, or this, I wanted to specific, to 172 00:11:56.220 --> 00:11:58.179 be that kind of show. Yeah, definitely, because, okay, I 173 00:11:58.299 --> 00:12:03.970 wanted, I chose, to get much it straight. And you know it's 174 00:12:03.090 --> 00:12:05.929 for you. From there, it's a long, hard road, right, 175 00:12:05.009 --> 00:12:09.210 when you finally accept something and say I'm going to get better. It wasn't 176 00:12:09.210 --> 00:12:11.889 overnight that I got for I was so it wasn't to be over I get 177 00:12:11.889 --> 00:12:18.039 out of it, and it was, you know, to quote an Arilyn 178 00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:20.120 Manson Song, on a long, hard road out of Hill. Right. 179 00:12:20.440 --> 00:12:24.120 Yeah, so I put it. Yeah, so, but I, you 180 00:12:24.200 --> 00:12:31.950 know, to get seriously, I was already divorced by this time and I 181 00:12:31.029 --> 00:12:33.509 want to be a better father to my kid and he was three at a 182 00:12:33.590 --> 00:12:37.789 time and I could see I wasn't being kind of man I wanted to teach 183 00:12:37.789 --> 00:12:43.700 him to be. So I needed to become that person. And then, 184 00:12:43.779 --> 00:12:46.340 you know, by two thousand and ten I was in a really good place, 185 00:12:46.980 --> 00:12:52.620 remarried, have another child. We're all doing great, and I decided 186 00:12:54.139 --> 00:12:58.610 I wanted to give back somehow, to to other people, to let them 187 00:12:58.649 --> 00:13:01.769 though, is that in their struggle they're not alone. Okay to talk about 188 00:13:01.809 --> 00:13:03.809 it's okay. I ask for health, a kind of thing. You know, 189 00:13:03.009 --> 00:13:05.210 a lot of things. I didn't feel like I had some something because 190 00:13:05.210 --> 00:13:07.850 I didn't know anybody else by polder at the time that I was going through 191 00:13:07.889 --> 00:13:11.250 this, the really rough times. I stopt a lot them. Yeah, 192 00:13:11.330 --> 00:13:13.440 right, it wasn't even a thing back then. It's like, I guess 193 00:13:13.480 --> 00:13:18.399 I buy polar yeah, and nobody talks about met love it generally. So, 194 00:13:18.639 --> 00:13:22.080 yeah, it's hard to it's hard to embrace. Yeah, so I 195 00:13:22.519 --> 00:13:26.789 you know, I thought about what is it that could do for that and 196 00:13:26.990 --> 00:13:31.429 I'd always wanted to write a screenplay and in my early twenties I acted also, 197 00:13:31.629 --> 00:13:35.950 so I was kind of familiar around that kind of idea and concept in 198 00:13:35.990 --> 00:13:39.909 movie making. So I thought, well, I write it, why I 199 00:13:39.990 --> 00:13:45.500 write my story. Doesn't have to be my story in quotes, but he 200 00:13:45.580 --> 00:13:50.100 needs to be something that's relatable and based off of this and very honest and 201 00:13:50.700 --> 00:13:52.700 gritty. I want gritty. I want to show people what this really looks 202 00:13:52.740 --> 00:13:56.970 like. I want to talk it down. I don't want to got it. 203 00:13:58.009 --> 00:13:58.970 I don't want to make it look wonderful, but I don't want to 204 00:14:00.049 --> 00:14:01.929 make it look, you know, like it's full in it world either. 205 00:14:03.210 --> 00:14:07.330 It need to be honest about it. Yeah, so I started writing. 206 00:14:07.370 --> 00:14:13.240 At the time it's called my polarity and then it became Donovan and, you 207 00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:16.919 know, one skut led to another. I didn't intend to produce it quort 208 00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:20.919 it, but that's kind of what turned out to be because, you know, 209 00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:22.399 an actor, I wanted to act in it too, and there's nobody 210 00:14:22.440 --> 00:14:24.429 really saying Oh, yeah, you, nobody's for heard of you. Why 211 00:14:24.470 --> 00:14:30.309 don't she come too? Yeah, now that. Have you ever read the 212 00:14:30.350 --> 00:14:35.710 story of Stallone? Yeah, yeah, he's got a great life story. 213 00:14:35.789 --> 00:14:39.059 That kind of speaks to the way you're doing it, where it's like no, 214 00:14:39.179 --> 00:14:41.059 this is actually my story. I'm going to tell it my way. 215 00:14:41.460 --> 00:14:45.580 Yeah, I'm going to be in it. So tell me how you came 216 00:14:45.620 --> 00:14:48.419 up with the name Donovan, though. What's that relevant to? Is it 217 00:14:48.500 --> 00:14:52.289 a homage to somebody else? Sort of? It's really kind of funny. 218 00:14:54.570 --> 00:14:58.690 Do you ever watch the show burn? Notice I'm familiar with it. I 219 00:14:58.690 --> 00:15:01.409 haven't watched it, though, because I skate around without cable. But yeah, 220 00:15:01.529 --> 00:15:07.559 it's a show about a spy it's burned and his you know, travels 221 00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:09.240 to find out who burned him and helping people and the support and so on. 222 00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:13.000 Okay, we first came out it was something I watched every day and 223 00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:15.879 I don't know, it just made me feel good and I was kind of 224 00:15:15.960 --> 00:15:18.679 in at a weird place. Wanting the Sari, bad place. I was 225 00:15:18.720 --> 00:15:20.950 in a weird place, sure, and the show this maybe feel good, 226 00:15:20.950 --> 00:15:24.629 and I was really I admired the lead actor, who's differed one of him. 227 00:15:24.909 --> 00:15:31.190 Admired his commitment to what they were doing with this show and knowing that 228 00:15:31.350 --> 00:15:37.620 he was a bit older than the what they would typically go for a a 229 00:15:37.620 --> 00:15:41.100 leading man, you know, the typically wants. Yeah, guys, it's 230 00:15:41.100 --> 00:15:43.379 a leadah show, and I was like that's really cool. That's kind of 231 00:15:43.419 --> 00:15:48.019 what I am wanted to done. Then because I'm an older guy now and 232 00:15:48.740 --> 00:15:50.210 you know, nobody's in banging on my door, but this guy is really 233 00:15:50.250 --> 00:15:52.769 doing it. So it kind of an homage to him. You know, 234 00:15:54.769 --> 00:15:58.210 the inspiration. That's awesome. From that. Okay, cool, and it's 235 00:15:58.250 --> 00:16:00.809 just it's a cool name too, so like we're that that name. Come. 236 00:16:00.970 --> 00:16:03.490 So it's not your kids, him or anybody. I'm right, it 237 00:16:03.649 --> 00:16:06.320 just a fictional play. Yeah, okay, cool, cool. So, 238 00:16:06.440 --> 00:16:08.720 yeah, I was watching the trailer and there are some pretty powerful scenes, 239 00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:12.799 like especially the the real quick clip of the rage face guy, the guy 240 00:16:12.919 --> 00:16:18.750 that just is raging that I'm like, yeah, that feels legit. That's 241 00:16:18.789 --> 00:16:22.509 not silver undings playbook. That's that's like Whoa, okay, Yo, that's 242 00:16:22.669 --> 00:16:26.149 that's for real. So how closely does the Donovan Story, Donovan the movie, 243 00:16:27.190 --> 00:16:34.740 follow your ex escapades through through bipolar and divorce and whatnot? A lot 244 00:16:34.779 --> 00:16:38.539 of you know, when we ever we don't see something diagnosed per se, 245 00:16:38.659 --> 00:16:42.980 but it's early on in it and he's much in denial, like I was 246 00:16:44.139 --> 00:16:47.690 sure, and you know this isn't really happening to me. I can do 247 00:16:47.809 --> 00:16:52.330 it for a want and being divorced and having a young son and trying to 248 00:16:52.370 --> 00:16:56.929 be a good person to whom, while still being in denial about this other 249 00:16:57.049 --> 00:17:03.160 thing, is a huge, you know, contrast of who you're trying to 250 00:17:03.240 --> 00:17:08.920 be versus who you are currently being. So, you know, the movie 251 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:18.190 base is a lot around relationships as well as the disorder. So, yeah, 252 00:17:18.230 --> 00:17:21.309 they kind of a lot of hand in hand at yeah, yeah, 253 00:17:21.349 --> 00:17:22.349 yeah, there's a lot of that. that. It was in my life. 254 00:17:22.390 --> 00:17:27.029 I'm you know, some I worked my I come from advertising agency. 255 00:17:27.230 --> 00:17:33.500 So his work was advertising agency because I knew it. Yep, you know. 256 00:17:33.700 --> 00:17:36.940 But there's there's a lot of differences to like, for example, Dotovan's 257 00:17:37.819 --> 00:17:41.140 motive to even go into the doctor's office, because where was this character? 258 00:17:41.220 --> 00:17:45.049 He probably wouldn't go on his own. Right. Is that that he's court 259 00:17:45.089 --> 00:17:48.250 ordered to show his ex wife? Oh, yeah, yeah, he is 260 00:17:48.329 --> 00:17:52.369 seeing a psychiatrist. That's hard writing basis. That didn't happen to you. 261 00:17:52.490 --> 00:17:56.089 How did no, no, it didn't know. Yeah, that would be 262 00:17:56.170 --> 00:18:00.799 Harso that WHOA? Yeah, so, yeah, because that is part of 263 00:18:00.839 --> 00:18:04.480 the clip on the trailer. At that's a the Donovan moviecom or Donovan moviecom 264 00:18:06.799 --> 00:18:11.759 Donovan the moviecom. Okay, Donovan, the moviecom. If you're listening. 265 00:18:11.880 --> 00:18:14.710 Go check it out. But yeah, that that is a pretty powerful scene 266 00:18:14.750 --> 00:18:18.950 what he kind of shows up with the front ports there, and anybody who's 267 00:18:18.990 --> 00:18:22.910 been diagnosed or has had court order to anything can relate to that particular scene, 268 00:18:22.910 --> 00:18:29.099 especially if you have kids. All right, that's savage, you know. 269 00:18:30.099 --> 00:18:33.660 And the other thing too, is anyone with this this orgin relates to 270 00:18:33.660 --> 00:18:36.579 the movie because there's a lot of things that you know, you try to 271 00:18:36.619 --> 00:18:41.380 be honest about that. We all have gone through a similar situation. But 272 00:18:41.450 --> 00:18:47.210 there's also this other side that I didn't really know. And pepleformer screening a 273 00:18:47.289 --> 00:18:52.809 couple must back here in Dallas and there were some psychiatrists in the in the 274 00:18:52.690 --> 00:18:56.960 in the audience, and one the psychiatrist said in our Q Anda that that 275 00:18:57.079 --> 00:19:02.559 it was interesting that he can now see, because of this movie, the 276 00:19:03.400 --> 00:19:10.029 on the patients walls that, yes, psychiatrist only see us per se when 277 00:19:10.190 --> 00:19:12.789 we want help. Right, YEP, they don't see us when we don't 278 00:19:14.029 --> 00:19:18.549 and that was very insightful to him to be able to see that side of 279 00:19:18.670 --> 00:19:22.750 what patients can go through when they don't want health. Yeah, that's lead 280 00:19:22.829 --> 00:19:26.900 an excellently one to the door and to that office. Well, and it 281 00:19:26.099 --> 00:19:33.019 brings up a higher point that this movie is should probably seen by families and 282 00:19:33.099 --> 00:19:37.940 loved ones and caregivers of by polar folks as much, if not more, 283 00:19:37.220 --> 00:19:41.569 than by polar people. I mean, like I'm by polar whenever I hear 284 00:19:41.609 --> 00:19:45.609 of a movie or TV show featuring said topic, I go watch it and 285 00:19:45.650 --> 00:19:47.890 I give it a thumbs up or thumbs down and I let my friends and 286 00:19:47.930 --> 00:19:51.650 they're like yeah, that's pretty accurator. Now, that's that's bullshit. But 287 00:19:51.769 --> 00:19:56.440 in this case this is super accurate. It's not a documentary, it's a, 288 00:19:56.839 --> 00:20:00.000 you know, autobiography. It's told as a story so you feel that 289 00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:03.920 you're in it. It presented a feature film so that you know, because 290 00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:06.880 I didn't want to become clinical about it and I felt if ID documentary, 291 00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:11.670 it become clinical, and documentaries, I like documentaries, love them. Yeah, 292 00:20:11.950 --> 00:20:14.750 from from this kind of thing, I think it would be born pretty 293 00:20:14.789 --> 00:20:18.069 quick. I don't know. That's how totally that's how I feel about bipolar 294 00:20:18.150 --> 00:20:21.500 podcast. A lot of them were very clinical and sterile. You can't swear 295 00:20:21.940 --> 00:20:25.140 you it, and it's just like, come on, bipolar people are extreme 296 00:20:25.339 --> 00:20:29.619 and left right up and down, and we do things that are intense. 297 00:20:29.660 --> 00:20:33.579 We throw beer bottles out of moving vehicles and we curse on podcasts and so 298 00:20:33.980 --> 00:20:40.690 but I think it's really cool that to convey that bipolar folks can perform in 299 00:20:40.769 --> 00:20:42.130 the world. We might not be seen as normal, we might not ever 300 00:20:42.170 --> 00:20:47.890 feel normal, but we sure as hell can perform and even outperform, quote 301 00:20:47.930 --> 00:20:51.880 unquote, normal people out in the real world, and I think you're producing 302 00:20:51.920 --> 00:20:56.319 a feature film really speaks to that. Yeah, I was interesting in in 303 00:20:57.839 --> 00:21:02.759 the ways that this kind of has a snowball effect of okay, now I 304 00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:06.390 have to produce what they're just written and now I'm going to direct and I'm 305 00:21:06.430 --> 00:21:08.750 going to act in it. And Hell of the janitor. I was the 306 00:21:08.789 --> 00:21:11.869 chef, Oh dude, and the editor. When I saw that you edited, 307 00:21:11.990 --> 00:21:15.990 that's like, oh, that's the most thankless job ever. Like he's 308 00:21:15.029 --> 00:21:18.339 getting down to doing the editing. Then he's actually committed, because we did 309 00:21:18.380 --> 00:21:22.019 a lot of stuff and whenever it comes to editing, I'm like, can 310 00:21:22.059 --> 00:21:26.259 we get somebody to do this part? Yeah, you really did do it 311 00:21:26.339 --> 00:21:27.940 all. Yeah, edited it, a color it. How did you? 312 00:21:29.019 --> 00:21:30.380 How does you earn do with how'd you learn all that? Dude, wait, 313 00:21:30.859 --> 00:21:36.089 how did you learn to do all the filmmaking stuff. A lot of 314 00:21:36.130 --> 00:21:40.049 it was just on the fly, seriously, and just go in and just 315 00:21:40.289 --> 00:21:42.210 today's task. Let's figure out how to do it and get it done. 316 00:21:42.490 --> 00:21:45.450 You know, I'm the editing especially. I went and did a lot of 317 00:21:45.930 --> 00:21:52.599 lend thecom story old and I wanted to storials on Youtube and and you know 318 00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:56.400 I'm awesome musicians. So, yeah, one of my friends told me that 319 00:21:56.880 --> 00:22:03.309 that good editors are also oftentimes musicians because they just have this built in tempo. 320 00:22:03.549 --> 00:22:06.990 Yep, Ye, right, and you kind of need that, yeah, 321 00:22:07.069 --> 00:22:10.630 visual perspective, that the bows of cutting scenes. So I would find 322 00:22:10.789 --> 00:22:15.549 this, that this it wasn't a finable song, but I would watch the 323 00:22:15.819 --> 00:22:18.980 scene and I would feel a beat and I would see where I need cut 324 00:22:18.059 --> 00:22:22.380 based off that feed. Yeah, it was pretty cool. That is awesome 325 00:22:22.420 --> 00:22:25.099 because, like you said earlier, I don't know if we set it on 326 00:22:25.180 --> 00:22:27.740 Mike or not, but we're both drummers and I always have a beat going. 327 00:22:29.059 --> 00:22:30.410 It's not my heartbeat speed. I'm not even sure what speed it is, 328 00:22:30.529 --> 00:22:34.369 but whatever situation it's like my walking speed. You know, I've always 329 00:22:34.369 --> 00:22:37.009 got like a my theme song in my head when I'm walking down the street, 330 00:22:37.049 --> 00:22:41.410 but there's always am tapping my fingers like crazy. So yeah, I 331 00:22:41.450 --> 00:22:44.799 could definitely see that how that turned out to be good. But because I 332 00:22:44.839 --> 00:22:48.880 went to school for filmmaking, there's like rules about filmmaking that you hadn't broken. 333 00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:52.079 So I was wondering if you had gone to film school. But lendacom 334 00:22:52.200 --> 00:22:56.759 is super helpful, for sure. Yeah, I didn't go to film school, 335 00:22:56.759 --> 00:23:00.069 but you know, I mean I had an entire crew, so me 336 00:23:00.269 --> 00:23:03.069 all by myself all the time. You know, photographer and a sound guy 337 00:23:03.109 --> 00:23:07.190 who are far more knowledgeable about all this than I could be, and I 338 00:23:07.269 --> 00:23:11.710 learned a lot from them just standing near them. Yeah, you overhear things 339 00:23:11.750 --> 00:23:15.740 as like okay, and that's a good idea or whatever. Or there they 340 00:23:15.819 --> 00:23:18.700 literally just tell me, do you can't do that because of this right, 341 00:23:18.819 --> 00:23:22.579 right us, they're judgment yeah, and then later after I realize okay, 342 00:23:22.619 --> 00:23:26.339 well, that makes sense now, you know, I can say and kind 343 00:23:26.779 --> 00:23:30.130 you know, grew into it, I guess. Yeah, they well, 344 00:23:30.210 --> 00:23:33.890 it came out great looking and I think people will definitely dig it that. 345 00:23:34.849 --> 00:23:38.329 Yeah, I get so how did and you work full time now or work 346 00:23:38.369 --> 00:23:45.279 part time? No, I'm awesome free Lance. Cool. Yeah, that's 347 00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:48.119 tweet the other day. If I know, I'm seasoning about awesome, because 348 00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:52.279 but most bipolar people like we have the energy, we want to work, 349 00:23:52.359 --> 00:23:56.150 but the depression part keeps us from getting organized enough to get anything done. 350 00:23:56.750 --> 00:23:59.710 So but right, I get so getting the film done or raising a kid, 351 00:23:59.750 --> 00:24:03.630 though, I'm like, yeah, that guy's fucking busy. Yeah, 352 00:24:03.670 --> 00:24:08.230 yeah, yeah, my wife works full time. I'm oftentimes stay at home 353 00:24:08.349 --> 00:24:14.700 dead type, saying Nickid Guess Wol way earlier than you know, normal people 354 00:24:14.740 --> 00:24:18.700 go out. Or Yeah, well, you're drummer and a filmmaker. Yeah, 355 00:24:18.740 --> 00:24:25.369 you're probably an Awesome Fun Dad. That's about how is the younger one 356 00:24:25.450 --> 00:24:26.970 now? So you got one that seven right now, you said, and 357 00:24:27.049 --> 00:24:33.369 then another one and then the oldest is fourteen, and they both were actually 358 00:24:33.410 --> 00:24:36.730 in the movie. So the kid that plays my son Evan and it's film, 359 00:24:36.890 --> 00:24:41.000 is actually my son. Wow, that's cool. Everything comes around and 360 00:24:41.279 --> 00:24:47.160 and I don't know if he was in the trailer not, I can remember, 361 00:24:47.279 --> 00:24:49.640 but the one that plays the twelve year old version of Donovan from the 362 00:24:49.720 --> 00:24:52.869 flashbacks, he's my oldest son. Right on. Which one's the Golfer? 363 00:24:52.990 --> 00:24:56.630 The older or younger, but they both played golf at the one. Off 364 00:24:56.710 --> 00:25:00.349 on you that want division issue with the younger one. Awesome. So we'll 365 00:25:00.349 --> 00:25:06.269 see some professional golfers in the making. If you see one of in the 366 00:25:06.309 --> 00:25:08.140 movie. Yeah, that's the I love see, especially a sport like that 367 00:25:08.259 --> 00:25:12.460 where nobody gets hurt, you're not smashing your heads into each other, which 368 00:25:12.500 --> 00:25:17.980 is probably like the I think that's the church in Texas is, you know, 369 00:25:18.019 --> 00:25:22.089 high school football. So I'm glad you guys had the wisdom to put 370 00:25:22.130 --> 00:25:26.650 your kids in golf. So from California to Texas, that's a good call, 371 00:25:26.690 --> 00:25:33.369 man. Yeah, they're a super into it and they're both very counted, 372 00:25:33.450 --> 00:25:36.359 but it's pretty cool to watch them off and never a golfer, so 373 00:25:36.680 --> 00:25:40.400 I'm learning all that as well and they just blow me away. It's Oh 374 00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:44.000 yeah, you teach those little kids the body mechanics early and they become naturals. 375 00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:48.079 That's awesome. Yeah. So what's what's on the future for you, 376 00:25:48.319 --> 00:25:56.710 for both life in general and the movie here? The immediate future is I'm 377 00:25:56.710 --> 00:26:00.630 trying to find an audience for Donovan. You know, being a hundred percent 378 00:26:00.670 --> 00:26:04.900 independent with no studio behind you, it's really hard to get that audience on 379 00:26:06.019 --> 00:26:10.019 your own little alone, you know, you know, with helpful the studio 380 00:26:10.180 --> 00:26:15.579 on and it film, but that's the media goal is to get this out 381 00:26:15.700 --> 00:26:22.089 if you can, can see it and keep that crop of it and keep 382 00:26:22.170 --> 00:26:23.849 the think and hopefully the word about it. You know, we're about the 383 00:26:23.890 --> 00:26:27.970 biggest thing that to do it off of. Yeah, for sure. After 384 00:26:29.089 --> 00:26:33.400 that, you know, there's substructed I'm kicking around that. I haven't really 385 00:26:33.480 --> 00:26:37.279 settled on anyone in particular just yet because I want to make sure that this 386 00:26:38.039 --> 00:26:41.960 donovans is in a good place to kind of do its word. Yeah, 387 00:26:42.039 --> 00:26:45.880 it's like a it's like a new child. It is like a new kid 388 00:26:45.960 --> 00:26:48.150 that you have to raise and make sure it can, you know, make 389 00:26:48.190 --> 00:26:51.390 its own bowl of serial and stuff before you got start your new job. 390 00:26:51.869 --> 00:26:53.910 So yeah, that's also see, I'll be good. Yeah, it's like 391 00:26:53.990 --> 00:26:57.069 okay, that that kids out taking care of hisself now, in ten years 392 00:26:57.109 --> 00:27:02.660 will take care of me. Good. Right. So what's you maybe? 393 00:27:02.980 --> 00:27:04.900 Yeah, what other? What other kind of projects do you work on? 394 00:27:04.980 --> 00:27:11.099 Do you still do graphic design and drumming? Yes, the design and the 395 00:27:11.220 --> 00:27:15.170 whole on drumming, I mean alsoplete, Guitar and sitting I've done some of 396 00:27:15.289 --> 00:27:18.609 that. there. There's a couple tracks on the Donovan Soundtrack that I'm actually 397 00:27:18.609 --> 00:27:23.450 all in, but my name is so much all over this thing. This 398 00:27:25.490 --> 00:27:26.849 I didn't put my name on the music. So I know you do. 399 00:27:26.930 --> 00:27:32.480 You put up the music in a really grateful way. I guess it's the 400 00:27:32.519 --> 00:27:36.000 best way to put it as a musician, because on the Donno, Donovan, 401 00:27:36.079 --> 00:27:40.039 the moviecom there's a whole music site section and it kind of broke down 402 00:27:40.119 --> 00:27:42.720 the different scores. So it looks like the guy who you had doing the 403 00:27:42.759 --> 00:27:47.269 score, you probably know him. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, 404 00:27:47.430 --> 00:27:51.789 so it came about great. Yeah, and he's he is, what's his 405 00:27:51.829 --> 00:27:56.750 name? First, brilliant. His name is Peter Lobo and he's so that. 406 00:27:57.029 --> 00:28:02.579 The Funny Story About Peter is this fourteen, fifteen years ago we were 407 00:28:02.619 --> 00:28:06.299 in a band together here in Dallas. Always it was kind of a Yep, 408 00:28:06.660 --> 00:28:08.619 yeah, it was a kind of golf industrial band, right, so 409 00:28:08.819 --> 00:28:14.769 like this nine is nails and Marilyn Manson hardass to push mode kind of cool 410 00:28:14.890 --> 00:28:19.369 down, and Peter was our drummer and he was I mean this dude was 411 00:28:19.369 --> 00:28:23.009 an amazing drummer. I was knew he was special. It seems so special 412 00:28:23.089 --> 00:28:26.319 that we would not be able to keep him as our drummer. Right. 413 00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:32.599 It's sure enough. He got off to tour of the world with various other 414 00:28:32.680 --> 00:28:36.920 bands and some really big names and he could that and he left. And 415 00:28:37.079 --> 00:28:40.119 what I was doing some of the earlier work without even I was thinking how 416 00:28:40.160 --> 00:28:42.069 I'm going to get soundtrack done, because you know, I can't take that 417 00:28:42.109 --> 00:28:45.349 job on as well and I can't do that justice. It would need anyway. 418 00:28:45.509 --> 00:28:48.190 Right, for whatever reason, Peter's name popped in my head. It 419 00:28:48.269 --> 00:28:52.349 all, he knew them as a drummer. So like that's up to so 420 00:28:52.390 --> 00:28:55.430 I look him up and he's freaking art and film scores in New York. 421 00:28:55.710 --> 00:29:00.259 Perfect. Yeah, so call him up and we talked and we work on 422 00:29:00.339 --> 00:29:04.059 this together and couldn't be happier with what. How the the school turned out 423 00:29:04.259 --> 00:29:07.259 is on its own, is its own story. You know, you can 424 00:29:07.339 --> 00:29:10.730 take it out of the movie and just looking to it as breaker. It's 425 00:29:10.769 --> 00:29:12.009 incredible. Yeah, you guys did put a lot of time into that. 426 00:29:12.049 --> 00:29:15.930 In fact, every layer that you add to a film that is that much 427 00:29:15.970 --> 00:29:21.049 more professional really makes the whole thing pop, because there's so many moving parts 428 00:29:21.650 --> 00:29:26.039 to a film production. It's hard to make sure every single piece is topnotch. 429 00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:30.680 So commenced to that that that was a great job and I think, 430 00:29:30.759 --> 00:29:33.240 you know, I don't want to be somebody says, well, that's because 431 00:29:33.279 --> 00:29:37.519 of my bipolar but I often wonder if I didn't have bi polar what I 432 00:29:37.559 --> 00:29:41.750 feel to switch years as quick and effortlessly as I figured out how to do, 433 00:29:42.990 --> 00:29:45.710 to cover all those places right, right. Well, you know, 434 00:29:48.069 --> 00:29:51.230 and he's like our good so you know, something to be said about that. 435 00:29:51.470 --> 00:29:56.339 I think like bipolar people are like the Foodis of of life's emotions, 436 00:29:56.460 --> 00:29:59.220 like because food is seem to be able to have bet they have a broader 437 00:29:59.299 --> 00:30:03.019 Palette of taste buds so they can taste more interesting foods and discertain things. 438 00:30:03.059 --> 00:30:07.049 I think bipolar folks at the same thing in the world of emotions. So 439 00:30:07.170 --> 00:30:11.609 that really does help when it comes to creating music, because we've tasted all 440 00:30:11.650 --> 00:30:18.009 those different flavors of anger and sorrow and anguish and hopefulness. And then when 441 00:30:18.009 --> 00:30:22.720 it comes time to creating sometimes you latch onto the mania train and then it 442 00:30:22.799 --> 00:30:26.000 just pulls you for a ride with all that other experience. So, yeah, 443 00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:29.039 it could come out really cool. Yeah, that's awesome. And so 444 00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:33.960 what's the best thing we like as listeners or followers on your twitter account? 445 00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:37.950 What can we do the most to help spread the word? You know, 446 00:30:40.470 --> 00:30:42.029 and it's for said, because, dude, are you're finished with the movie 447 00:30:42.069 --> 00:30:47.950 right? Yeah, the movie is available with DVD and vidual download. So 448 00:30:48.470 --> 00:30:51.500 that that's one way. Yeah, right now. That's the best way to 449 00:30:51.619 --> 00:30:53.380 help. You go buy it and rent it. Yeah, that's it. 450 00:30:53.539 --> 00:30:56.740 Kin, share it, they bill, show it and show it in your 451 00:30:56.819 --> 00:31:00.380 class if you teach anything about bipolar, if you have any kind of mental 452 00:31:00.420 --> 00:31:07.329 health community outreach programs, that's a good idea. It's yeah, and you 453 00:31:07.410 --> 00:31:11.289 know, the other thing too, is I'm boys open to and and up 454 00:31:11.329 --> 00:31:15.289 forward discussing you coming out and talking to people as well, because that was 455 00:31:15.369 --> 00:31:21.480 a story outside of this story that people relate to. And you know, 456 00:31:21.799 --> 00:31:25.200 my biggest thing is just reaching other people who need to be heard or like 457 00:31:25.279 --> 00:31:29.680 they're heard, and in health. I want to. I totally agree, 458 00:31:29.680 --> 00:31:32.319 dude, in fact, because not all of us can even get out of 459 00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:34.470 bed right. That's a given. There had been many practical parts of my 460 00:31:34.509 --> 00:31:38.190 life where I would go months and months stuck in the dark room of my 461 00:31:38.269 --> 00:31:41.869 own making, literally a dark room, Ye, like blinders over the curtains 462 00:31:41.910 --> 00:31:45.349 and quiet, kind of controlled everything. Just stay in bad afraid of the 463 00:31:45.390 --> 00:31:48.980 world. Check my check my social media once in a while. That was 464 00:31:48.059 --> 00:31:52.380 it. That was my life. So I think it's kind of feels like 465 00:31:52.420 --> 00:31:55.819 it's not like a Messiah Complex as much, but when you are feeling good, 466 00:31:55.859 --> 00:31:57.660 you really feel like that. I should give back and and show people 467 00:31:57.740 --> 00:32:01.970 what what we go through, and just show other people with bipolar like hey, 468 00:32:02.410 --> 00:32:06.289 it's okay, things will eventually get okay if you just stick with it. 469 00:32:06.410 --> 00:32:08.369 Don't like, don't off yourself, especially because how many times if you 470 00:32:08.450 --> 00:32:12.369 felt suicidal, word like two days later it's like, uh, that's good 471 00:32:12.410 --> 00:32:17.400 thing, I didn't kill myself last week. Yeah, yes, is the 472 00:32:17.480 --> 00:32:21.359 awkward laugh on that one, because it's kind of funny because it's true and 473 00:32:21.400 --> 00:32:22.920 it is not funny at all, but it's true. Yeah, yeah, 474 00:32:23.559 --> 00:32:28.079 yeah, for sure. So that's great. So I yeah, then that's 475 00:32:28.200 --> 00:32:31.950 that's the best way. So I guess go and find Jason, the Jason 476 00:32:32.069 --> 00:32:37.230 B T G Jas son Bee that's on twitter like a mumble bee, yeah, 477 00:32:37.309 --> 00:32:40.349 like a Bumblebee, and retweet the heck out of his cool post. 478 00:32:40.589 --> 00:32:44.700 He's super supportive and if he detects that you're a real person, he will 479 00:32:44.740 --> 00:32:47.859 do the same with you. That's how we met. We just exchanged conversation 480 00:32:49.019 --> 00:32:52.140 on twitter and now we're taking it to the next level. I'm trying to, 481 00:32:52.299 --> 00:32:54.259 you know, promote different things and he'll do the same with you, 482 00:32:54.299 --> 00:32:58.730 I'm sure. So follow them on twitter. retweet every time he talks about 483 00:32:59.049 --> 00:33:04.289 Donovan the movie. You can go by Donovan the movie at Donovan the moviecom 484 00:33:04.490 --> 00:33:07.329 check out the trailers, look at all the the breakout of the music youtube 485 00:33:07.329 --> 00:33:09.809 videos and what night he's got there's got the music files. You can listen 486 00:33:09.849 --> 00:33:15.119 to the soundtrack for free and that'll get you more enticed and generally speak in 487 00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:19.920 man. I hope you have a lot success and come back soon and let 488 00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:22.640 us know how more, how much more we can help push things forward. 489 00:33:23.759 --> 00:33:28.269 That's awesome and I thank you so much for this. Is a great yeah, 490 00:33:28.269 --> 00:33:30.589 it'll be Ongo and I'm trying to collect the casting and crew of just 491 00:33:31.589 --> 00:33:35.670 like a cast and crew right now. It not necessarily a onetime guest thing, 492 00:33:35.789 --> 00:33:38.869 because people that can hold their own speak on the radio or the radio 493 00:33:38.910 --> 00:33:43.819 on a podcast are kind of far and few between. It seems like everybody 494 00:33:43.819 --> 00:33:45.140 would want to, but when it gets down to a lot of people like 495 00:33:45.299 --> 00:33:47.900 yeah, I don't want to share my story. Do you go to buipolar 496 00:33:47.940 --> 00:33:52.220 groups? By by the way, I have not been to any. They're 497 00:33:52.220 --> 00:33:55.529 kind of NEAT. If you have, that's one thing, then it's one 498 00:33:55.569 --> 00:33:59.809 thing. I'm starting to look at too, trying to two, if anything, 499 00:33:59.930 --> 00:34:01.609 just to kind of support of the people, because, yeah, all 500 00:34:01.650 --> 00:34:05.529 right, yeah, and I think it'd be it need to make you like 501 00:34:05.730 --> 00:34:08.809 a here's our dream, right, anybody that has bipolar, if we could 502 00:34:08.929 --> 00:34:13.320 just make a living being bipolar and going around to talking about it and making 503 00:34:13.400 --> 00:34:15.800 podcasts and movies and books about it, that would be our dream, honestly. 504 00:34:16.119 --> 00:34:19.119 But I don't know how to do that. Yeah, but I'd like 505 00:34:19.199 --> 00:34:21.760 to help you be able to do that, because you've got a film out 506 00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:24.510 and it would be nice to just pack up in a sprinter van decked out 507 00:34:24.550 --> 00:34:28.030 like an office with the bed in the back, and go city to city 508 00:34:28.550 --> 00:34:30.429 show your movie, you know, get paid enough to stay in a hotel 509 00:34:30.909 --> 00:34:34.550 and just kind of make a life that way. I think it would be 510 00:34:34.590 --> 00:34:37.670 great. So we'll help you towards that. In that would be awesome. 511 00:34:37.110 --> 00:34:40.699 And if anybody else is creative, creative bipolar people, hit us up and 512 00:34:40.780 --> 00:34:45.980 follow US along on twitter. We're up bipolar style. He's at the Jason 513 00:34:45.059 --> 00:34:52.889 B the movie is Donovan, the moviecom and man, it's a real pleasure 514 00:34:52.889 --> 00:34:57.570 to have you here. Thank your family for giving up some time on a 515 00:34:57.610 --> 00:35:01.130 Sunday. I appreciate that. We'll put this podcast up tonight and see what 516 00:35:01.210 --> 00:35:06.730 kind of damage we can do over twitter promoting it this week. Yeah, 517 00:35:06.730 --> 00:35:09.119 and next time I will be a total stranger on the shows. I'll be 518 00:35:09.199 --> 00:35:12.679 cool. He'll be a regular. People will like, oh, that's because 519 00:35:12.679 --> 00:35:15.239 you actually show your face on twitter. Ideal with the stigma right, too 520 00:35:15.280 --> 00:35:20.119 much like especially with my old family and the stigma and my social circle. 521 00:35:20.280 --> 00:35:22.750 So I just I'm like a cartoon head. But yeah, when people see 522 00:35:22.750 --> 00:35:25.110 Jason and be like, Oh, yeah, he's cute, I'll follow him. 523 00:35:25.510 --> 00:35:30.469 So your wife might not be so happy about that. Well, Jason's 524 00:35:30.510 --> 00:35:35.030 become a fine that either, famous bipolar star. Right, all right, 525 00:35:35.110 --> 00:35:37.260 man. Well, thanks for stopping in. We'll check in with you in 526 00:35:37.260 --> 00:35:42.019 a few weeks if you have anything else new to add or I run out 527 00:35:42.019 --> 00:35:43.739 of people to talk to you. I love to have you back on, 528 00:35:44.659 --> 00:35:46.860 but so far we've got a handful of people that are really eager to talk, 529 00:35:46.980 --> 00:35:52.289 so let's hear their stories. Great Circle back around and we'll form our 530 00:35:52.409 --> 00:35:57.369 own bipolar cabal on twitter. Cool Man, Gary, yeah, man. 531 00:35:57.489 --> 00:36:00.530 So enjoy the rest of the day. Thanks for coming on bipolar style and 532 00:36:00.969 --> 00:36:07.599 we'll talk to you soon. Absolutely. Thanks, Jason B. If you'd 533 00:36:07.719 --> 00:36:13.719 liked what you heard, subscribe on Apple Podcast by Itunes and join us at 534 00:36:13.760 --> 00:36:15.840 by color stylecom. Thanks for listening.